BSE and Mental Illness
The Black Sheep Effect and its relation to mental illness (addiction) can be tricky to understand. In order to truly understand the correlation between the two, one must get a basic idea of family roles in a unit. These list of roles helps explain what the black sheep may look like in a treatment setting. The resource, which belongs to New Haven, a residential treatment facility, will explain in depth the different roles that may be present in your family. Click here to view the page.
Role of Addict and Black Sheep
The black sheep effect and its correlation to addiction is not an exact science, as addiction is not an exact science. If you examine why people become addicts, it typically stems from loneliness, or the inability to feel connected to those around you. It becomes easy to stray onto a path of self destruction, almost allowing yourself to fall into the role of the-out-of-place black sheep as you tumble down the hole of addiction.
When one becomes what others around them consider an "addict" (I use this word lightly as it can mean different things to different people), the addict wanders senselessly through life, as their family unit consistently identifies the addict as the "problem" because they vividly display the symptoms of the family dynamic.
The addict is typically the black sheep of the family, or even their life, because of social identity. Addiction stems from lack of connection to other people, or absence of a sense of belonging to a social group. Social groups that reject individuals due to certain traits or qualities (in this case being depression or other mental illness), have a more difficult time finding an identity, which can lower self esteem, which can lead to an increase in depression and therefore spit out a void that needs to be filled, and might be with a substance. Therefore, when leaning further into the role of the black sheep, addiction can grow more severe.
Depression and BSE
Depression comes in many shapes and sizes, and no two people experience it in the exact same way. Some may feel numb, others immense, heavy sadness, or somewhere in between. Depression is often incredibly isolating, which can add into feeling like the black sheep. For those who do not experience depression or its mild to debilitating symptoms, it is difficult to understand, and very often frustrating for loved ones. The misunderstanding can link back to the black sheep. Loved ones, confused and angry can begin to "give up"* on their depressed group members. This can imitate the feeling of being pushed away, unwanted, and rejected, the same processes of being the black sheep of a unit.
Being the black sheep of a unit will increase isolation to that specific social circle, which can often increase the symptoms of depression, in turn, leading the unit to remain stagnant in their relationship to the black sheep.
*Although it may feel that loved ones are "giving up" on you, they typically are not. Depression is difficult to understand, and sometimes people just aren't sure of what to do to help.
Understanding BSE and Mental Illness Overall
In a more personalized section, I will admit that it is difficult to find concrete data or studies on the Black Sheep Effect and its relation to mental illness. Although there are many blog posts about coping with mental illness accompanied with being the black sheep of your family, it is difficult to find more professional/ cite-able information. This does allow insight into more personal experiences, but can be unreliable.
In my personal experience, I have met a lot of people who have a variety of mental disorders while I went to treatment for my own depression caused addiction. I have found that people tend fall into two categories (including myself). There were those who felt they were the black sheep of their family, and those who lived in fear of being the black sheep.
The Black Sheep
I found that these individuals in the program had more obvious mental disorders than others, meaning their behavioral symptoms were more outward than inward. The most prominent example that comes to mind is a fifteen year old girl**, whose diagnosis was bipolar disorder. She often exhibited mood swings, that led to outbursts and manic behavior, and eventually a crashing/ depressive stage. This created a distinct wall between her and the rest of her family. The girl would feel "down right rejected, like [she] didn't belong". Despite having a diagnosis already, her family, unknowing of how to deal with bipolar (as well as her depression) would leave her be, in an attempt to let her calm down and the mood swings to falter, while this left her to swiftly began to "feel less and less like a part of [her] own family". Being the black sheep of her family led her to feel more and more isolated and unwanted, leading her to fall into the role perfectly.
** The girl asked to not be mentioned by name, which is why I stuck to pronouns.
Fear of Being the Black Sheep
This role is a little harder to follow, but I will do my best. This group, I noticed was a lot more common in the addiction and eating disorder sections of the treatment I attended (at least in the time I attended, and this testament is purely based on personal experience). The fear of being the black sheep is really a fear of being different. Not different in the "everyone is unique" kind of way, but different in a way that you will be rejected, proving that you are unloved and unworthy. I believe it is a human requirement to have some sense of social belonging, and the fear of losing it can cause people to act in certain, unhealthy ways.
In my case, I was in constant belief that I was not enough. It caused me to overachieve in every aspect of my life, mostly academics. I was incredibly successful in high school, but I was in a constant state of fear that I would be rejected, I ended up staying in an abusive relationship, overbooking my class schedule, adding extra hours at the gym for athletics. While in a hunt to be perfect, I was unfulfilled, a teenage drone. The first time I used, I felt relief. Many people don't understand addiction, why someone would keep abusing their body, day after day, hour after hour. Eventually you look in the mirror and a skeleton stares back. Unrecognizable. Nothing like the innocent little girl with the dutch boy hair cut holding a stuffed bunny. But the relief to be normal, to feel okay, was in those moments worth losing trust. And relationships. And chances. And your bed. And grades. And scholarships. And the future.
Unfortunately, once getting lost in that limbo, you can become what you always feared, the undesirable. I don't think I was ever the black sheep of my family, but the devastating fear of being in that role played a large part in the development of my addiction.
The Overall Connection (A Conclusion)
Mental Illness and the Black Sheep, in some cases, is a chicken or the egg debacle - which came first. Honestly, I don't think anyone really knows. My personal opinion is that people are pushed away subtly by their family due to undiagnosed mental disorders, and once they are diagnosed, the divide remains - or grows stronger, reinforcing the role of the black sheep . It is important to understand that no matter where mental illness stems from, it is nothing to be ashamed of. If you think you have a mental disorder, or would like to talk to someone about mental health, it is possible to talk to your doctor, a psychiatrist or a therapist about it.