Anxiety & Depression

Common Signs by Age

Toddlers & Preschoolers (Ages 2–5)

• Clinginess or separation anxiety

• Frequent tantrums or meltdowns

• Regression (bedwetting, thumb-sucking)

• Avoiding new people or places

 Children (Ages 6–12)

• Frequent stomachaches or headaches with no medical cause

• Difficulty sleeping or nightmares

• Perfectionism or fear of failure

• Avoidance of school, social events, or specific activities

Teens & Adolescents (Ages 13+)

• Overthinking or catastrophizing (“What if...” spirals)

• Irritability or mood swings

• Withdrawal from friends or family

• Changes in appetite or sleep

• Drop in grades or motivation

How to Help:

1. Create a Safe Space for Talking

• Ask open-ended questions: “You seemed upset after school, what happened?”

• Listen without jumping to solve the problem

• Normalize feelings: “It’s okay to feel nervous sometimes.”

2. Name the Emotion

• Help them label what they’re feeling: “It sounds like you’re feeling anxious or worried.”
  
  

• Use books, emotion cards, or shows to teach emotional vocabulary
  
  

3. Build Coping Skills Together

• Teach deep breathing (e.g., "smell the flower, blow out the candle")

• Use grounding techniques (5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, etc.)

• Try journaling, drawing, or using a worry box

4. Create Predictable Routines

• Routines reduce uncertainty, which can lessen anxiety

• Use visual schedules for younger children

5. Avoid Avoiding

• Gently encourage them to face fears in small steps (don’t force it)

• Celebrate bravery, not just success

6. Model Calm Behavior

• Children often mirror adults’ reactions

• Show how you handle stress: “I’m feeling a bit anxious, so I’m going to take a deep breath.”

7. Limit Triggers When Possible

• Reduce screen time before bed

• Monitor exposure to frightening news or content

8. Get Professional Help If Needed

• Talk to a pediatrician, school counselor, or child therapist if:

  • Anxiety interferes with daily life (e.g., refusing school, constant physical complaints)

  • It persists for weeks or months

  • They show signs of depression or talk about self-harm

Common Signs by Age

Toddlers & Preschoolers (Ages 2–5)

At this age, kids usually can’t verbalize complex feelings like sadness or hopelessness, so depression can often show up in behavior and physical complaints.

 Children (Ages 6–12)

School-aged kids may begin to express more emotional distress, but it often still comes out as behavioral or physical symptoms.

• Frequent sadness, irritability, or anger

• Withdrawal from friends, family, or play

• Drop in school performance or reluctance to go to school

• Trouble concentrating or making decisions

• Increased sensitivity to criticism or rejection

• Low self-esteem, frequent guilt (“I’m bad” or “I mess everything up”)

• Sleeping too much or too little

• Physical complaints: headaches, stomachaches, etc.

• Talking about feeling hopeless or worthless

Teens & Adolescents (Ages 13+)

Teen depression can more closely resemble adult depression, but it’s often dismissed as “typical teenage moodiness.” Watch for changes in patterns and intensity.

• Persistent sadness, numbness, or emptiness

• Irritability or explosive anger (more than usual)

• Withdrawal from friends, family, and social events

• Loss of interest in hobbies, school, or sports

• Lack of motivation, energy, or focus

• Risk-taking behavior (drugs, alcohol, reckless driving)

• Feelings of worthlessness or self-hate

• Talking or joking about death, self-harm, or suicide

• Drastic changes in sleep or eating habits

• Self-harm (cutting, burning, etc.)

⚠️ Red Flag Signs (Any Age)

If you notice any of the following across any age group, seek professional help immediately:

• Mention of wanting to die or disappear

• Self-harming behavior

• Total withdrawal from all activities

• Sudden major changes in sleep, eating, or behavior

• Expressions of hopelessness or worthlessness

How to Help:

1. Stay Calm, Open, and Validate 

• Create a safe, judgment-free zone

• Ask gentle questions:

  • “You’ve seemed really down lately. Want to talk?”

  • “How have things been feeling for you lately?”

• Reassure them it’s okay to feel sad or overwhelmed

• Avoid minimizing (“You have nothing to be sad about”) instead say: “That sounds really hard. I’m here with you.”

2. Establish Routine and Supportive Structure

• Keep a consistent daily schedule (sleep, meals, screen time)

• Encourage physical activity, even a short walk outside

• Involve them in small, manageable tasks to build momentum

3. Be Present, Not Pushy

• Just sitting quietly with them can be powerful

• Offer small moments of connection (e.g., cooking together, watching a show, short conversations)

• Let them know you’re available, without forcing them to talk

4. Avoid “Fix It” Mode

• Don’t rush to solve their problems, listen first

• Say: “I may not have all the answers, but I want to understand what you’re feeling.”

5. Get Professional Help

• Therapists or counselors: Child psychologists can provide tools like CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy)

• School counselors: Often helpful for support and referrals in the community

• Contact a mental health professional or call a crisis line (e.g., 988 in the U.S.)