On being Asian American at college

"Yeah, so like William & Mary is a PWI* so everyone here is like basically white. But there is like an Asian community which I’m like grateful for. However, I came into William & Mary like, 'I’m gonna do this club, this MCO**, this MCO, and this MCO,' like you know, and I was just like left disappointed. I guess just like Asian culture in general is very cliquey and I didn’t really grow up in NOVA*** so this culture—a lot of Asians here are from NOVA, so I just didn’t really feel like that. That’s why I’m always here in the CSD**** even though most people here are Black who hang out. But people like me here, but as far as being Asian American I feel like it’s been okay. It could’ve been better. No one has ever harassed me for being Asian here or like [discriminated me] for being Asian. But I don’t know, I just feel like I might have an easier time here if I was white."

*Predominantly white institution

**Multicultural Organization

***Northern Virginia

****Center for Student Diversity (at William & Mary)

On how her perception of being Asian American has changed since coming to college

"I feel like I lost a little bit of touch with my Asian American identity. Just because the school is so white and my mom—she’s Indonesian, so being at home with that influenced and grew my identity. But here, it’s harder. But, of course, I need to get more involved with the Asian American community here."

On how her adoption has affected her identity

"I think that I just don’t really feel Chinese. I tell people, 'I’m Chinese, like I was born in China' and I look Chinese, but I don’t act or feel like one because my mom isn’t Chinese, my dad is white—he’s like very white, and my mom’s Indonesian. So like, I grew up going to Indonesia every couple years, or eating Indonesian food, hearing the language every day ‘casue she talks on the phone. So, I just don’t really feel Chinese. Maybe that’s why I didn’t really feel connected in CSO* as much as I would. I just feel more white, honestly, than Chinese or Asian. Which is really disappointing to say."

*Chinese Student Organization (at William & Mary)

"I have connected to my heritage by learning Chinese and going to these Chinese culture classes, so I think it’s really interesting if I wasn’t adopted, I’d be like fluent in this language. It’s just like really hard to do at this school."

On her experience studying abroad in Taiwan

"This summer, I went to Taiwan to learn Mandarin, and I think it’s just the environment, but everyone there is Asian, like it’s in Asia so everyone there is gonna be Asian and the culture there is Asian. So I just felt a lot more comfortable there. I felt like blending in was very nice. It felt very comforting to have other Asians around me. And exploring Taipei by myself was the most rewarding thing, outside of learning the language. I do wanna go back because even though I wasn’t with my family, it did feel very comforting. It’s like, “is this what it feels like to be white?” Because even though I didn’t speak the language fluently, it just felt like there was this mutual understanding."