On their experience of feeling socially isolated at college

"I do really like this school. I think the professors are amazing. I think the students in an academic setting are amazing. I think the resources that we get here are invaluable. But I think socially, the experiences I've had here and the people I've met outside of academic settings make me feel like I'm second guessing myself."

"I didn't really, like, pay too much attention to, like the racial or like the ethnic breakdown of the student body here, because I thought it wouldn't matter too much to me, and it didn't when I first got here, I didn't really like notice. I guess it really only hit me when I went home for fall break my freshman year, and then I and then I realized there are so many Asian people here, and I didn't realize this culture that I was missing out on because college was so new in so many ways to me."

"...that's when I started feeling a little bit like an outsider, because I'm Asian. Like, I'm not white-passing, and I'm South Asian, so anyone from a distance can tell that I'm not white, so that's interesting. But yeah, definitely shifted my perception a little bit. And I think that's when I started overthinking some of the interactions I had, like I noticed I wasn't clicking with some groups as well as I was hoping to. And I noticed, like all of them were white, except for me. It's like, okay, maybe... is this, like a subconscious, like microaggression thing? Is this like implicit? I just can't tell. I don't know if they're aware. I don't know if this is purposeful. That's when that started. I think also my freshman year in general was very tumultuous socially, and I don't think all of it was connected to my race, but like it definitely didn't help that people didn't understand my background and my culture, the same way that my Asian friends do at home, because we grew up in similar households."

"I think I really struggled to find community, just because I didn't spend as much time as I should have, branching out, and it took me a while. It took me until, like, last semester, my first semester, sophomore year to really find people that I mesh with. So yeah, so it led to a lot of social isolation, especially freshman spring, because I felt like nobody really understood me, not specifically in like a racial sense, but in general."

On their experience being South Asian in STEM classes

"In the biology class I took freshman spring, and also the biology class I took sophomore fall, we had a whole lecture dedicated to DEI*."

"There's, like, a lot of times I've been the only South Asian. I'll be like one of three Asians in like a 40 person class. And it's just very, very like isolating. So yeah, so the DEI conversations are really interesting, because I feel like, yes, I can benefit from these, because DEI doesn't only mean race. And like, I know that I'm not a part of other minority groups, so I do benefit from thinking about these for other minority groups. But like, I guess it just feels so weird to answer questions like, 'Why do we need diversity in STEM?' Like, I don't know how to answer that."

"I do feel like, extra visible, yeah, in those kinds of conversations. Just because, like, I can't hide my diversity. So it's been odd, like I see all these white people talking about the need for more inclusion in STEM spaces. And I just like, I don't know how to participate in these conversations."

*Diversity, Equity, & Inclusion

On their opinions of Diversity, Equity, & Inclusion (DEI) discussions in STEM classes

"For a biology class, we'll pull out a paper, and it'll be like, the benefits of increased diversity in whatever field. But like, I never remember what the benefits are. Like, I'm gonna be real—it's just like a discussion... I feel like it turns into people demonstrating that they're aware that there's no diversity or that there's very little diversity in these fields. But, I feel like it's not solution oriented." 

"I feel like awareness is a fantastic first step, but you should have been aware years ago."

"Like, I'm not gonna fault anyone for not being aware, because I don't know, like, what their upbringing was. Like, I don't know the composition of their home, I don't know what your parents or family was like. I don't know if they like [advanced] like racist stereotypes in the household, and if that was normalized. So if this is your first experience with DEI, I'm not gonna fault someone for that. But, I just feel like in every class I've taken, it's just about awareness. Like people say, let's have a conversation, and we do have a conversation, but I just don't see any tangible results from that."