On the experiences of her high school's diverse environment, opposed to W&M's

"In high school, I think I took it for granted—the environment I was in. Like, even if it was considered like a bad high school by some people, I was always around people of color, so I never felt threatened or felt like unsafe in the way this that I do now, like, almost all the time. I just took it for granted. And now, I think about it a lot, just like, yeah, it was really nice."

On 'Why APIA Studies?' and why APIA Studies, as a major, matters

"I've been thinking a lot about 'Why APIA Studies?' a lot lately. And like, I don't think I'm on board with the answer of,  'Oh, to learn more about your own identity' anymore. I feel like it's just become the space. Like, I feel like it's also the intention of the major like, in the first place, was to become the space for unlearning. And, like, learning how to undermine the systems we're operating under."

On negative experiences with non-APIA Studies classes, professors

"I remember I was taking [class*] with [Professor**]. I don't think he's teaching here still. We had a practice oral exam in his office, during office hours, and I was like, struggling to make eye contact with him, because I'm like, 'Yeah, this guy, he makes me nervous.' And I can't make eye contact, but I'm doing the practice with him. And then, in the middle of it, he just interrupts. He's like, 'Why are you having such a hard time making eye contact with me? Is it because of your culture?' And he's like, saying it in a snarky, joking way. And then he's like, 'Should I do this? Should I cover up and make it easier for you?' 

In the moment. I just took it in stride, got it over with, and then stewed on it for good. And the thing is, this happened at the same time I had, like, my butting of heads, like [Professor^] too, over something similar. Both of these happened in the same semester. And I was just like, 'White people.'

What happened with [Professor**], is that I ended up emailing him, and it was like, 'Hey, not cool. I want an apology.' And he was like, surprisingly, 'You know what, yeah.' And I told him, like, 'This is the kind of BS I deal with all the time. You're guilty of contributing to it.' And he was like, 'You know what, you're right. I apologize.' And, that ended up so well that during our final oral exam, I stared at him dead in the eye. And at the end of it, he's like, 'Your eye contact is good. Maybe put on some shades.' And I was comfortable in his class again after that.

*De-identified class title

**De-identified professor name

^De-identified professor name

On healing her inner child, through self-portrait drawings

"I've just been making a lot of little portraits on sticky notes, and I have them all in a box. And I kind of started it as, like a therapy and art exercise to kind of get better at art. And then in terms of the therapy exercise, like, remind myself that, 'Oh, I'm not ugly.' Like, reminding myself that, like, my features are nice, it's not ugly. I feel like it's also something I've been doing to address a lot of the things I deal with, with, [[kinda like]] facial dysmorphia, or like skin color, or like racial [[dysmorphia]] actually."