Ask Blair is an advice column run by a GPHS student under the alias of Blair. Its purpose is to provide advice to students in search of it. Keep in mind that your responses will most likely be in the next issue of The Scroll. Scroll below to see the answers for February questions.
Within the last two years, we launched the advice column Ask Blair! Everything is 100% anonymous, including my own identity. Though I go by Blair for the purpose of the column, I wouldn’t be surprised if many of you know me outside of The Scroll. I’m a student at GPHS, just like all of you. My goal for the column is to reach out to you guys and do what I can to help you during your times of trouble. Don’t be afraid to send in questions for next month’s issue, and I look forward to writing for you guys in the months to come. Scroll down to enter your own questions for me, Blair!
*A Note from Blair: Since I reach such a wide audience and cater to people of so many different lifestyles and beliefs, it is my goal to remain as unbiased as possible when giving advice. It is for that reason that I ask you to refrain from asking for my personal opinions on politics and the like, as I don't want that to get in the way of being able to help as many people as possible. Thank you for helping me keep Ask Blair! a safe space for everyone!
*Editor's Note: The Scroll's Ask Blair! column is to solely provide advice, care, and support to students in need. We want to hear from you, and we understand that some of the topics that will be discussed will be emotional and sometimes distressing, but this advice column is not meant to be used as an alternative to any sort of professional therapy or counseling.
Thank you 💜
Procrastination is every teacher and student’s worst nightmare, but let’s be honest, we’ve all fallen victim to its temptation, time and time again. It is especially prevalent amongst seniors, who are battling the infamous Senioritis, but don’t give up! You’re not alone; I promise.
Step one of fighting procrastination is finding the motivation to get work done. I answered a similar question last month that might help you with this part: click here to read it. Once you have a source of motivation, the next piece comes into play: willpower. This is where most people struggle. You might have motivation already; you want a good grade, you want colleges or scholarships to like you, you want to impress your parents, etc. If your motivation is something like that, it does not really carry enough willpower to do the work. Those of you who struggle with executive dysfunction will likely stumble here. My answer from the previous issue was more about artificial motivation and tricking your brain into producing dopamine for tasks you do not like, so I would recommend checking that out. If your source of motivation is a little broader or more vague, you need to find the willpower to actually get up and do the work and, to be honest, that is not really something I can help you with. It might help to remind yourself of the reason you have this task and why it is important to you: “I want to make my family proud of me. I deserve a good grade. I am successful and competent and I can do this.” Things like that.
Another tip for procrastination is learning how to schedule your time. I used to hate using planners, and every attempt I have made to maintain one has failed, so it is okay if that’s not your jam; I prefer to have a dedicated notebook for to-do lists that includes dates, and a calendar if you feel like it is necessary. I have also found that it helps just listing out what time you have to get work done and crossing it off as the time passes. In general, crossing things off on lists is a great source of dopamine for me, and it doesn’t have to be through a planner.
Finally, procrastination can often be a sign of stress or overwork. For me, I am not a lazy person, but my executive dysfunction worsens when I am exhausted. Sometimes, just giving yourself a day or two off to recharge will actually make you more efficient later. You do not have to spend every weekend doing homework and every night staying up until midnight finishing assignments! It is okay to give yourself a break to make your work better in the long run. Your mental health and well-being always comes first.
Love, Blair <3
I think you are asking a very broad and existential question and it is 8:22 AM and I have not had nearly enough caffeine to think philosophically right now, so we're taking a logical approach. Let’s talk climate change.
First of all, the sun is warming up. Increasing solar radiation means the greenhouse effect will be sent into overdrive and will slowly make Earth uninhabitable. On the bright side, the Earth should be able to support life for the next 150 million years or so, so we have no need to worry about that. (Thank you, Science.com!)
On another note, humans are also destroying the Earth. CBS predicts that we are one track for another major extinction event that mirrors the Great Dying, also known as Permian-Triassic Mass Extinction. It knocked out 90% of ocean life and 70% of land life, and due to the increasing amount of greenhouse gasses being released by humans, we may be approaching something similar. That said, hope is not lost. All it takes is a move towards reducing the burning of fossil fuels, which a lot of major companies are already doing! It is not quite enough right now, but we are making progress, and that is what matters. No need to panic (but don’t quote me on that).
To sum up my answer to your question: yes; yes; and because of science. I hope that’s the type of answer you had in mind.
Love, Blair <3
I will tell you now, as someone dealing with a lot of loss, the pain never truly goes away. I know that may not be what you want to hear, but the world keeps moving, even when you have a void in your heart, and that is always hard. Here are some ways to deal with grief:
As cheesy as it may sound, talk to someone. We have counselors, support groups, and clubs that would be willing to listen to what you have to say if needed.
If you are grieving from loss because of death, honor that loss. Write them letters, sing to the sky, dance in the park, or pick flowers that they would love; honor them in any way you think they would appreciate, and do it as often as you need.
If you are grieving because of a loss that is still on this earth, put your needs over anything else. I know that a lot of us teens put other needs before us or our mental health, but during loss, that is the last thing that is needed. Take a deep breath. Ask teachers if you can take a step outside for fresh air for a bit during times you aren't doing anything. Drink water. Self-care can be made of little movements that go a long way.
Acknowledge your small victories–for instance, getting through the day, drinking water, and eating food. Although we do these things every day, they are extremely important and sometimes hard to do while grieving. If you can do these and you can acknowledge them and tell yourself that you are proud of yourself, then it gets a little bit easier.
I hope some of these tips help, but grief isn’t the same for everyone, so it’s okay if it feels like you’re making very little progress. It’s important to remember that, one day, you WILL be okay again, even if you aren’t okay now. Take time and feel your feelings, and, while the grief may never fully go away, it will become manageable in time. We’re here for you <3.
Love, Blair <3
The best advice I can give you is to focus on the things that you can control. I often find myself focusing on the bigger picture, and that has always led me down a road of panic. As an example, at school, I tend to think that I have more work than I actually do when I think of all my classes, all together, clumped into one monumental task. When I start thinking about every class individually and the work I have in each class, it starts to get easier to think about, because I have a set goal and a list of what I actually have to do instead of a blob of everything that I think I need to do. Break down tasks into small goals and reward yourself for completing them, and it will help alleviate more stress. I also answered a question above about procrastination, and some of those tips might help alleviate some stress, as well as a response from last month relating to lack of motivation (read it here!). As far as school-related stress goes, those types of tips might be able to help you. When it comes to work, you need to limit your availability to a more comfortable level. If you can only work two or three days a week, then only work two or three days a week! If you can only work once a week, that’s fine too! If you have to go on leave or take a few weeks off, there is no shame in that! If your bosses can’t accommodate that, then you might just have to go without work for a while and come back when you’re ready. I’ve had to leave a job before, simply because I’m a teenager and a student, and I needed an employer that could treat me like one. I’ve known several others who have made similar decisions, so I promise: it’s okay to need that time off.
As far as your friends go, you need to figure that out yourself. You need to approach them (not via text, but with your face and vocal cords) and ask them what’s going on. You might discover that you just misinterpreted them, and they don’t actually hate you, or that they misinterpreted something from you, and you can clear it up. You might just realize you made a mistake, and that brings you one step closer to remedying the situation. Whatever happens, just asking and expressing how that made you feel is step one. After that, whatever happens... happens.
Love, Blair <3
Take it one minute at a time. I think, as humans, we tend to think about the bigger picture instead of focusing on the smaller, more mundane details. What I mean is: if you don't think that you can get through the day, get through the minute. Then, when you get through the minute, get through the next; then, you can get through the hour, and the next hour after that. Remember that it was baby steps that got us running. Combatting stress is hard, especially as high school students, and no two people cope with it the same way. Something that always grounded me was focusing on the actions I can control. I can control when I get up in the morning. I can control when I get to school, when I take a shower, eat food, and brush my teeth,. Thinking about the smaller movements, rather than constantly thinking about the big things, has helped me not stay as stressed out in life.
It’s okay to feel stressed. I promise: we’ve all been there. It’s okay to have periods of your life where stress is the only emotion you know how to feel. Just remember to ground yourself and don’t let it get the best of you. If you need a break, take a break, and if you need something in particular (a snack, a nap, etc), do what you can to get it. I can’t make the stress go away, but I hope this helps you deal with it a little bit.
Love, Blair <3
