Fake News

IMMORTALITY POTION MADE

By: AJ Wade (7th grade reporter) (Image generated by Canva AI)

As of 12/8/25 a kid that goes by the name of AJ Wade was experimenting with multiple different liquids, but what he made will shock you.

On Monday, December 8th, AJ Wade was in his kitchen mixing different liquids for fun. 10 minutes in, he put in a mix of Bromine and Mercury together. The beaker then exploded throwing a drop of the mixed liquids into his mouth. The beaker threw him back, throwing his head into a bed of nails "I thought that I would die" He stated in a press conference. But instead of doing damage to his head, the nails broke. These were very sharp nails, sharp as the normal kitchen knife. Finding this out, he touched the sharp end of a broken glass shard, it did nothing, just got pushed back.

AJ Wade then realized that this concoction that he made granted people immortality. He made another batch and sold it to a science center and made 100 Billion dollars. He has now the potion called "AJ Wade's Immortality Elixir Mega Knight Sigma Mercury And Bronnium Potion The 67,000th" The Elixir has been tested on death row inmates, and has been confirmed to give people immortality. There are ways to get the potion out of your body if you take it but don't want to be immortal. It also makes it to where you do not age.

This kid is earning money by the second. Every time one is sold he earns 10 Billion dollars in a bank account. The world praises this child.

Merry Christmas FMS!!!!!

🎄 Middle School Girl Finds a Christmas🎄 Tree With a Family of Elves Living in it.

By Miette Fox 7th grade editor

(Image generated by Canva AI.)

Middle schooler, Lainey Spratanater, was out with her dog looking for a Christmas tree when she found the perfect tree. After looking over the tree to make sure it was in perfect shape, Lainey started to cut the it down. She had just started sawing when an Elf jumped out and yelled at her to stop. "I was just trying to cut the tree and she yelled at me to stop." Lainey told reporters. Her story was that, after she was told off by the elf, it showed her its family. " There was 3 other elv's. A husband, a daughter, and a son. Scientists are now at the tree trying to see if they can do tests on an elf to see how they are here. Scientists are perplexed on how these elves are living and breathing. "We have decided to test these so called elves. They break the very laws of biology. For goodness sake! They have candy for blood!" says Scientist Brook. "We are all perplexed with the sudden appearance of these creatures." says Scientist Cora. Be on the lookout there may be elves all over the world!

Merry Christmas FMS!

A Real Life Winter Wonderland

By: Rilynn Reiges

It’s snowing outside. The first snow in 47 years. As least, that’s what my father tells me. The truth is, I’ve only lived for fifteen. But, I do know that it hasn’t snowed in all the time I’ve been alive.

It’s beautiful.

The air is crisp, like taking a cold sip of water on a hot day. The flakes landing on the grass of my front lawn.

I sigh in relief, never wanting the snow to end, hoping the sun will never come back. The droughts and heat waves stay away forever.

“Hold on to it, dear.” My mother says from behind me. “It will be gone soon.”

I sigh, happy and content, “Looks at how pretty mother. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

She smiles softly at me, “I know you haven’t dear. I haven’t seen snow in so, so long. The last time it snowed I believe I was only twelve.”

“No picture can ever do it justice.” I say.

“So many years.” My mom exhales, seeming sad. “I hope it lasts so that your father is able to see it.”

I nod, “Me too, mother, me too.”

A car pulls up in the driveway, and I recognize it as my Father’s. I smile, knowing that he is able to see the snow falling.

He jumps out of his car, a wonder on his face. “Tell me I’m not hallucinating.” Is the first things he says to me.

I shake my head, “You're not.”

He lets out a whoop of excitement and I laugh at him. “You have no idea how long I have waited for this!” He says to me, as my mother comes out of the house.

“You’ve always said it’s beautiful.” I explain.

“I’m glad you are so happy hon.” Mother says.

“It’s like a real life winter wonderland.” He says to me and my mom, still smiling.

Merry Christmas FMS!🎄

Government Reveals The Secret About Fish.

By: Titus Dedduang 7th Grade Writer

As of 1/1/2026 the government released new documents and evidence that fish evidently do talk when confronted with cheese. When you walk up to a fish with a piece of cheese the fish will start begging and giving their reasoning why they deserve the cheese, if you respond to the fish and give him the cheese he will turn back to a normal fish and swim away. However if you deny the fish's requests for the cheese the fish will grow 5 feet and 3 inches and start chasing you and attempting to kick you.When the government released the document the overall reaction from the public was joyful, praising the government for revealing such a core foundation of fish that no one knew about them before. When the president was interviewed on why the kept the secret for a whole year before releasing it he stated

“We didn't release the news when we first learned about it because we wanted to complete our studies about the fish's behavior before the public interfered.”

Santa Caught On Camera!

By: Deonnah Sandel 7th grade editor

It was christmas eve night in 2025 when a youtuber, Santawatcher_1598 posted a video of santa entering his house putting presents under the tree. At 11:52 pm Santawatcher_1598 started a video saying he could hear something on his roof. When he opened the window you could see reindeer on top of his roof. Then there was a big flash of red that went to his chimney, and you could hear a joly laugh. When Santawatcher_1598 walked downstairs there was a munching sound in the living room. When he turned on the lights there was an older man with a red suit, a white long beard, white gloves, big black boots, a jolly smile, and a sack full of toys. "It's santa!" Yelled Santawatcher_1598. Santa looked at him, smiled, touched his nose, and flew up the chimney. Santawatcher_1598 ran outside as fast as he could and saw a sleigh flying in the sky, then heard santa yell, "Merry christmas to all, and to all a good night!" Right then the camera turned off. This is real proof of Santa.

Always believe.

Merry Christmas!🎄

Mcdonald’s Becomes Independent

By: Korbin Carrillo

On February 33rd 2026 since Mcdonalds had become economically successful, they had enough money to be able to go out and make a nation of their own. The company is keeping the name the same, but they are setting out to Antarctica to finally fulfill their independence. The locations will still be there around the world, but now they’re something more than just fast food.

An Interview has been pressed on the CEO of McDonald’s, Chris Kempczinski. He was asked why McDonald’s has become independent? He responded, “We have become independent because most people don’t take our franchise seriously enough, so we have done this for more respect.”

So now, McDonald’s is building up their nation in Antarctica and making an attempt to make it habitable for human life to survive over there. And also finishing their goal of becoming something bigger than ever before.

Weird X in the Sky Spawns Demons

By Kyrie M

Every day the national news station of Oregon receives reports of a big rainbow X in the sky. The US military has surrounded the X and started to investigate this unnatural state of the sky. However, people who have managed to get past the guards have told us that weird triangular demons are falling from the X….

During the evening of August 31st 2012, firefighters and officers started to guard houses and buildings. Places that have windows have been covered and are being investigated by national VIPS. Luckily, there are humans who have been hiding out in bushes, and we have investigated one of them now.

A young girl named Mabel has so graciously agreed to talk to us. She states that her great uncle is with the government and gets to see everything. She showed us one of these triangle demons, who are extremely feisty and utterly emotional.

“I really like him, he’s nice to me! I named him Bill.” Mabel said this before “Bill” threw her into a trash can.

Thankfully, the government has hired grandmas to sew the X together to reform our beloved sky. This may be a long process, however, the people of Oregon are being escorted to a small cabin in the woods away from all of the commotion.

Rebellion At FMS

By: Rilynn Reigles (8th grade editor)

Fruita Middle School students have gotten tired of the tyranny! As a student body, FMS has decided to hold a rebellion against the teachers and administrators at FMS!

As the 8th grade Fruita Middle School students learn about the American Revolution, it brings ideas to their minds. They believe that the unfair things that the teachers have inflicted should not be allowed, and they are taking back their freedom!

The reaction from the teachers at FMS are a mix of shock, hysteria, and even a little bit of fear. “I’m not sure what except, but so far, it's like they’re all waiting for the right time.” Mrs. Periwinkle says, regarding the rebellion. She explains that the staff doesn’t know when the students will strike. “It’s weird to think about. The fact that all this came from simply studying the revolution from nearly 250 years ago.” Says one of the social studies teachers.

The students are biding their time, waiting for the perfect moment to stand up for what they believe in. “It’s all about patience. What’s the quote? Ah yes, ‘All good things to those who wait.’” Says one of the students at FMS. “Don’t underestimate the students. Just because we haven't struck yet doesn’t mean we won’t.” Another student says, regarding how much planning they are doing to make sure they are prepared.

As FMS staff decides what to do, and as the kids plan their rebellion, keeping mostly everything under wraps, we should all be ready for anything.

🎄Santa Claus, A Holly Jolly Thief!🎄

By Miette Fox 7th grade editor

Image generated by canva AI.

Youtuber SantaCatcher7! caught Santa on camera stealing his family's most prized jewels. This so-called "Santa Claus" had 2 bags one with presents and the other with stolen valuables. The video goes something along the lines of SantaCatcher7! coming downstairs after hearing rustling sounds downstairs. SantaCatcher7! looked around and quickly spotted Santa Claus. Santa Claus was leaning over a case where SantaCatcher7!'s most prized family jewels were kept. SantaCatcher7! filmed while Santa Claus stole his jewels. SantaCatcher7! watched as Santa opened the bag with the other stolen valuables and started to walk off towards the chimney. SantaCatcher7! shouted then the camera was dropped. There are sounds of scuffling before SantaCatcher7! picks up the camera and points it towards Santa. In the end SantaCatcher7! reports Santa. SantaCatcher7! returns all the stolen valuables. SantaCatcher7! now has changed his name to SantaisaJerk7!.

The Case of The Missing Presents.

By Audrey Funk, 8th Grade Reporter

It was one month before the best holiday of the year: Christmas. The house was decorated with gingerbread men, snowflakes, twinkling lights, and a tall tree. The kids ran around excitedly, stealing candy canes from the branches and hiding with their siblings, hoping their parents wouldn't catch them. Every night they went to sleep wondering what would be in their presents and hoping it would be what they had asked for. One night they decided to sneak out of their rooms to try to peek at the gifts—but they noticed a few presents were missing. Who could have taken these children's presents? They looked at each other with fear and sadness and ran to their parents' room. “Mom! Dad! A present is missing!” they cried.

“What do you mean a present is missing?” their mother asked. “Go to bed — you're probably just overthinking it because someone got more than the other.”

“No, really—there's a present missing. Come look!”

The parents followed them, and sure enough, a present was gone. “Who could have possibly taken the presents?” the children wailed. The parents tried to calm them. “Go to sleep,” they said. “You're probably all just having a bad dream.”

They went to bed still worried, but they slept through the night.

The next morning, they went to check the presents again—and this time they were all gone. They knew they had to figure out who did this, and fast, before Christmas. Who could have taken them? Who do you think took them?

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