Faceless

“Pretty.” Jane thought to herself while looking down at the worn white mask resting in her lap. It glared at her with beaming sockets and a forever smile, each orifice baring chips from years of wear. The once smooth white surface was now rugged with the scars of an excited child's experience, whose adventurous free spirit often landed her in trouble. Yet through it all, always happy, always healthy, always white, always smiling. As long as she wore it, she would be happy too, and everyone would know that she was happy and healthy, and being happy and healthy was pretty. Jane so very much wanted to be pretty. Just like her mother and father.

“Jane honey, come down for breakfast,” her mother beckoned in her usually sweet tone.

“Yes Mother!” Jane called back as she placed the mask to her side and stood up to quickly get dressed. She opened her closet and looked at her dresses. The first that caught her eye was the blue dress with white dots that tastefully covered her shoulders and had a high neckline so that only a few centimeters of skin was shown below the neck, the dress also extended down to cover her knees. She liked this dress, but perhaps today was not a polka dot day, so she pushed the dress aside to glance at another. A blue dress without polka dots that tastefully covered her shoulders and had a high neckline so that only a few centimeters of skin was shown below that neck, the dress also extended to cover her knees. She liked blue but perhaps it wasn't a blue day, so she pushed that dress aside to glance at another. A yellow dress with polka dots that tastefully covered her shoulders and had a high neckline so that only a few centimeters of skin was shown below the neck, the dress also extended down to cover her knees. She liked yellow, and with the sun shining outside, she decided that today would be a yellow day. She put on her yellow dress and⁠—

“Jane, where are you? Your food is getting cold.”

“Sorry Mother, I’m coming now.”

Jane swiftly walked out the door of her room into the second story hallway. From there, she turned and headed to the stairs, all the while smelling the rich scent of bacon. The smell pulled at her, and with each step toward the joyful sounds of her family enjoying their breakfast, the quicker her pace became. She rushed down the stairs, nearly tripping herself, and jumped over the last few steps to sprint her way to the table. There sat her father wearing a white button-down with a red tie, black dress pants, black dress socks, black shoes, and a black jacket draped on the back of his chair. Her father had a short, clean haircut that was well combed and parted with a clean-shaven face. Across the kitchen/dining room stood her mother. She was wearing a pink dress of the same fashion as her daughter’s.

“Well hello there!” her father said, half chuckling, “coming in a little hot this morning, are we?”

“Looks like someone's excited for their big day!” her mother said in an amused tone.

“I’m excited for my pancakes,” Jane said coyly, “And maybe a little for today,” Jane said while masking a giggle.

“Oh is something important happening today?” her father said in a joking voice.

“Daaaaaaaaad.”

“What.”

“Ugh! You know what.”

“Oh of course!” her father exclaimed, “today is masking day, how could I forget?”

“You didn't,” Jane retorted, “you wrote it on your calendar,” she said while wrinkling her nose and squinting her eyes at her father, who sat back in his chair, newspaper in hand, with a satisfied smile on his face.

“AND TODAYS MY BIRTHDAY,” she yelled jokingly, “did that slip your mind too?”

“Huh, is that today?” retorted her father with false bewilderance.

“You're so funny,” Jane said sarcastically.

“Thank you, thank you, I try my very darndest.”

“Would you two hush now and eat the food I cooked!” Mother exclaimed.

“Yes ma’am,” her father said.

Jane looked down at her pancakes and bacon and then dove headfirst into her plate, cleaning her dish in a couple of minutes.

John came down the stairs slowly, dropping his feet onto each step.

“Looks like someone's up bright and early!” Mother said in a cheerful voice.

“Ready for the big day?”

“Yeah,” John said quietly.

“Yeah?” Father questioned.

“Yeah, I’m ready.”

“Well good, it's a very big day for your sister, and it would look great if you would be there for her,” Father said.

“Well that's what's really important, isn't it,'' John muttered.

“What was that?” Father said sharply.

“Nothing.”

And with that, John sat down and began to eat his breakfast with the rest of the family as Jane sat by patiently waiting for the family to finish. The table was quiet now as John ate with a fork in one hand, holding up his face with the other. Father read the paper, coffee in hand, while Mother ate, sitting perfectly upright. She carefully carried each item of food into her awaiting mouth with a certain grace and elegance that Jane envied.

One day, she thought, I’ll be like that.

Soon each member of the family finished their own morning rituals, and each rose from their places as Father said with an exhale, “Let's get this show on the road.” He then turned to Jane and said, “And I’ll see you later today.” With that, he turned once more to face the door, walking over to a glass cabinet in which hung three pristine white masks. He opened it, took out one, placed it on his face, and left out the front door.

“What are you two waiting for?” Mother asked. “Get on your way now.”

“Yes Mother,” John and Jane said.

“Oh my mask!” Jane exclaimed before rushing upstairs to her room to grab her mask. It laid facing upward, still bearing its smile. Jane half expected its grin to have faded with the knowledge that it would soon be replaced. Yet there it laid, still wearing its grimace as it always had in the halcyon days of her childhood. She picked up the mask, staring into its empty glad sockets for a moment, perhaps a little more than a moment, before placing it upon her face and joining her brother downstairs. Her brother had likewise taken his own mask out of the glass case and was holding it in his hands; however, he had yet to place it on his face.

“Where has Mother gone?” Jane asked.

“I think she went to the garden in the back.”

“Are ya ready?” Jane asked with a bounce in her voice.

“Are you,” John said with a flat tone.

“Of course,” Jane replied with a little ounce of surprise.

“It’s the big day,” John said.

“I know. We should go now,” Jane said.

“Yeah alright, let’s go. Just—” John paused and looked down at his mask, “don’t forget about being a kid.”

“Why would I forget about being a kid?” Jane said with a false chuckle.

“I don’t know. Just forget about it.”

“Okay.”

With that final word, John adorned his mask and turned his head up again. The once plain expressionless countenance of Jane's brother was replaced with a wide smile and beaming sockets.

“Come on, let’s go,” John said through his mask.

John and Jane then walked out the door and into the front yard. The bright warm sunlight kissed Jane’s mask as she walked outside. She was tempted to remove it, just for a moment, just to feel the sun, but she didn’t. The sun had blinded her for a moment, and as her vision returned, she was greeted by a view of clean-cut yards. Row after row, home after home, block after block, each yard was pristine. Within each yard was a walkway that led from the front door to the sidewalk, paralleling the street, one on each side. Paired on each yard were two gardens, equally well kept in straight rows of flowers. Sometimes it was a row of lilies next to a row of roses next to a row of lilacs next to a row of tulips. Other times it was a row of tulips next to a row of roses next to a row of lilacs next to a row of lilies. Each yard was unique, individual, just like their owners. The homes themselves were also a kind of their own. One was yellow, with four windows on the bottom floor and four windows on the second floor. Another was blue, with four windows on the bottom floor and four windows on the second floor. Jane looked from house to house and thought to herself,

One day I’ll have a house all my own, with my own garden, and I'll get to choose what I want it to be.

Jane and John walked down their front path and onto the sidewalk as they began their march to school.

“It's a pretty day, isn't it?” Jane said cheerfully.

“It’s always pretty,” John replied in a gloomy tone.

Jane furrowed her brow and frowned, “What do you mean?”

“It doesn't matter.”

Jane stopped in her tracks and waited for John to notice. When John glanced over to see that Jane had stopped walking, he turned and said, “I just mean, it’s always pretty.”

“Why did you say it like that?” Jane questioned.

“Like what?”

“Like it was bad.”

“Well, I don’t know, I…look all I mean is why does it always have to be pretty? I mean, I don’t know, if it's always pretty then well, wouldn’t it kind of never be pretty?”

“That doesn't make any sense at all!” Jane exclaimed. “Why would you not want it to be pretty? That doesn't make any sense!”

“Nevermind, you’re a kid, you don’t get it.”

“I’m thirteen years old, which means I’m not a kid anymore, and you’re saying dumb things.”

“Uhuh.” John shrugged then said, “Let’s just go.”

“I don’t understand what's been wrong with you recently, why have you been acting so weird all of a sudden?” Jane questioned.

“Let’s just go, okay.”

“Not until you tell me.”

“Let’s just go, okay.”

“Fine, be that way.”

The rest of the walk was in silence. However, Jane couldn't stop thinking about what her brother had said and the slow change in him, his growing reservation, his shortness. Before she could finish her thoughts, she was interrupted by her timely arrival. Her school laid before her. A brick building that had a very geometric look.

“I’ll see you later,” John said.

“Bye, have fun at second school,” Jane responded.

With their goodbyes said, Jane walked toward the entrance to her school as John continued down the sidewalk to his.

“Jane! Jane!..JAAANNNE!” A familiar voice called out over the commotion of the beginning school day.

“CINDY!” Jane shouted. Cindy stood a few feet away. She rushed over to hug her, and when she wrapped her arms around her, she felt something. Something strange that she had not felt before. She felt warm and a touch of nervous anxiety. Cindy’s body felt soft, and a strange pleasure tingled and glided under her skin. This was not the pleasant feeling she was accustomed to. Not that of the fond embrace of a friend. It was something else. Suddenly, Jane felt very strange herself, followed by a feeling of awkwardness and shame as she quickly pulled away from their embrace.

“Are you okay?” Cindy asked, with one eyebrow raised.

“Yeah...yeah yeah totally, just had a weird cramp or something, it was...uh...weird.” She then tried her best to pace off a casual laugh and said, “So what's going on with you?”

“What’s going on with me? Well I’ll tell ya what's going on with me!” she said with a giggle, “Thomas. Cranwell. Have you seen him? Oh my god he’s so tall, and sweet, I think, you know, after I’m masked and graduate from second school, I’m gonna marry him,” she said with an extra excited emphasis on the “marry him.”

“Oh my god, talking about masking. IT'S YOUR DAY AHHHHHH. Oh my god I'm so excited for you!”

“Thanks, yeah I really can’t wait.”

“So who do ya want to, you know, propose,” Cindy said.

“Oh I haven’t even thought about that yet.”

“Oh. my. god. What do you meannnn you haven’t thought about it. Come on, I know you’ve thought about it. Everyone thinks about it!”

“Uh...well there's this one boy I guess.”

“Oh. my. god. WHO.”

“Uh...Michael?”

“Oh my god Michael Byron? No he's too short, OH MY GOD IS IT SAM WILMER”

“Yeah yeah it’s Sam Wilmer.”

“Oh my god, he’s so sweet, and tall, and I bet he's cute too.”

“Yeah totally, I bet he’s super cute,” Jane said with all the false confidence she could muster.

“Yeah and I bet he’d make an amazing husband!”

I need to figure out who Sam Wilmer is, she thought to herself.

“Ok you love Sam, and I have to get to class,” Cindy said mockingly.

“AH! I DO NOT LOVE HIM!”

“Oh my god you totally love him.”

“Oh my god would you shut up.”

“Ooooo always so feisty,” said Cindy, continuing her teasing.

“Come on, let's go to first class, and you better watch it,” Jane said jokingly.

The two of them then entered the building and headed for their first class of the day. As they walked, Cindy talked about boys and gossiped about other girls while Jane listened, laughed, and interjected periodically to tease Cindy’s choice in infatuations or to comment on today’s gossip. Every so often, another girl would come up and say “hello” to Cindy and then to Jane, always in that order, as they talked and walked.

Eventually they reached Jane’s class and ended their conversation with the customary “see ya.”

Jane went to take her seat, passing by her teacher.

“Hello, Jane,” Ms. Perkins said in a cheerful voice.

“Hello, Ms. Perkins,” Jane replied before sitting down at her desk.

A few moments passed until the bell rang, signaling the beginning of the school day.

“Hello, students,” Ms. Perkins began.

“Hello, Ms. Perkins,” the class responded in unity.

“How are all of you today?” Ms. Perkins asked.

“We are feeling well today, Ms. Perkins,” the class responded in unity.

“How do you all look today?” Ms. Perkins asked.

“We are looking pretty today, Ms. Perkins,” the class responded in unity.

“We will now begin the class today,” Ms. Perkins said.

“We will now learn today, Ms. Perkins,” the class responded with unity.

After this daily ritual was completed, the class began. Ms. Perkins began to discuss the use of proper English; however, Jane’s mind was far from such educational pursuits. Rather, she couldn’t stop thinking about how she felt when she hugged Cindy. They must have hugged a thousand times, yet this one was different. The way it felt was different, and she couldn't stop thinking about Cindy. About her hair, her eyes, her...

This is wrong. I must be sick. I should go to the nurse. Yes, the nurse would know. But...

Something within Jane told her not to go to the nurse though she could not think of a reason why. Something told her that this was a secret. Perhaps she didn’t want anyone to know she was different, especially not on her naming day. Jane continued to dwell on her strange new feelings, how good it felt to hug her. Yet again, something within her screamed it was wrong. That she should not feel this way for Cindy. That she should be ashamed. That shame gnawed at her bones, and yet still, she could not banish Cindy from her mind.

The bell rang. Her trance was broken. She stood up from her desk and walked over to the door until she was stopped by the voice of Ms. Perkins.

“Jane,” she said in her constant cheerful voice.

“They need you in the principal's office, sweet thing!”

“Oh...yes, Ms. Perkins,” Jane said.

Her first instinct was to assume they had discovered her new secret. Though after she banished the thought as impossible, she began to question what could possibly cause her to be sent to the principal.

She left her class and began to walk toward the principal’s office, all the while contemplating what could possibly warrant the trip. Had she spoken improperly to an adult? Behaved in an ugly way? These had caused such trips in the past when she was younger. Before she learned the correct way to behave to others.

Once again, her thoughts were interrupted by a swift arrival to her destination. Standing before that wooden door with a blurred window that had black letterings written on it which read “Principal's Office.”

She paused, took a breath, and opened the door.

“Hello, Jane,” a familiar friendly voice beckoned. Its origin was Principal Jenkins, who sat behind an imposing wood desk with two chairs across from him. However, Mr. Jenkins was not alone in the room as was typical for disciplinary meetings. In the corner stood a tall thin man wearing a black suit with a red tie.

“Hello, Mr. Jenkins.”

“Why don’t you have a seat, would you, Jane?”

“Am I in trouble, Mr. Jenkins?”

“No no no, nothing like that. My friend, Mr. White, here has a few questions for you. Then you’ll be free to go,” Mr. Jenkins said with a smiling voice.

Mr. White then cleared his throat and began to speak, “Hello Jane, my name is Mr. White. It's a pleasure to meet you.”

“It’s very nice to meet you as well,” Jane responded tentatively.

“I have a few questions about your brother. If you don’t mind.” Mr. White said in the cheerful voice indicative of adults.

My brother? Why would he ask me about him, she thought to herself.

“How has your brother been lately?”

“He’s been fine.”

“Fine? Just fine?”

“Well...uh...yeah he's been good.”

“Well that’s wonderful, Ms. Jane. May I ask if you’ve noticed any change in him?”

“Change? Well he’s gotten taller.”

Mr. White gave a humorous exhale accompanied by a “mhm” before responding, “Oh no, sweet Ms. Jane. I mean in his temperament.”

“Oh...well he’s been quiet recently.”

“Ah yes, anything else?”

“Well, uh...he’s been staying in his room more.”

“Ah, I see,” Mr. White said before stepping closer, “and is there anything else you could think of? Anything at all?”

“Um...well...sometimes he gets...uh...upset sometimes,” Jane began to squirm a little in her chair under the pressure of Mr. White's eyes. They were locked on her, and she could swear he had yet to blink. His gaze was unflinching, and she thought she saw some kind of hunger deep within them.

“Ah yes. Upset. Thank you, Ms. Jane. You have been so very helpful. You may go now.”

“Could...is...is something wrong with my brother?” Jane could barely get the words out under the pressure of Mr. White's gaze and spat out the few she could.

“I apologize, Mr. White. As you know, Jane has yet to attend a single class of second school,” Mr. Jenkins quickly interjected.

“Oh it's quite alright, Mr. Jenkins. I’m quite accustomed to working with children.”

“Did I do something wrong?” Jane asked with confusion and concern.

“Oh don’t worry about all that, Ms. Jane, it's quite normal. You’ll be taught all you have to know when it’s your time for second school,” Mr. White said cheerfully through gritted teeth.

“Go on back to class now, Jane, and close the door behind you if you would,” Mr. Jenkins said.

Jane stood up as instructed and left the room, closing the door behind her. As soon as the door shut, she could hear the two men talking, but she couldn’t make out what they were saying. She stood there a moment, perhaps more than a moment, in a failed attempt to make out their words before heading back to her class.

The day carried on as Jane went from class to class, each one distracted with the image of Cindy and concern for her brother.

Why can’t I get her out of my head? She thought to herself while doodling in math class. She drew shapes, circles, squiggles, Cindy...

What am I doing, she thought as she looked down at the silhouette of a female figure. It was curved, feminine; the image trapped her eyes, calling them to linger. Yet still, the shadow of shame rested in the back of her mind.

Who would know?

Who would it hurt?

She drew another. This next image was given greater form. Not simply a silhouette, it had hair, eyes, and more. This would be her secret, her small indulgence into these new sensations. This notebook would be her secret. For her eyes only. She continued this indulgence through her classes. The day marched forward, filled with thoughts of worry, confusion, shame, and secrecy.

The last bell rang.

The P.A. system beeped, signaling an announcement.

“All last-years, please make your way to the auditorium for the masking ceremony.”

My masking! she’d half-forgotten the occasion. Her class all stood up and faced her as they began clapping. She expected to feel proud, happy, popular, important perhaps. Yet she felt alone. Alone in her thoughts, her secrets, alone in the room she now stood in. The pristine white masks smiled blankly at her, and the requiem of applause rang out for her. And yet, she was alone, behind her mask.

She left the room and walked down the halls. Students walked out, directed by their teachers as they clapped. In turning down the halls, she walked through her whole childhood, serenaded by ordered applause. Walking alone between walls of white faces.

When she entered the auditorium, it was empty except for Mr. Jenkins, her parents, and—

Where’s John? she thought to herself. He’s supposed to be here.

“Hey honey,” “How’s it going,” her mother and father said with excitement.

“I can’t believe it’s finally your masking!” Her mother almost squealed. “I’m so excited.”

“We’re very proud of you!” Her father said.

Jane did not reply immediately. Instead, she looked around the room. It was large, with a high ceiling and sets of bleachers that flanked a basketball court. The hoops had been raised to the ceiling for the ceremony and a stage had been assembled, with a podium placed slightly off on its right, laid in the center of the room. Next to the podium was a glass container that held a white, clean, pristine mask. It glared at her with a welcoming smile. Soon it would be her new face. It would be the new her, and she would be as pristine as that mask. As pretty as that mask. As perfect as that mask. Yet Jane didn’t feel very pretty at that moment, or very clean. She felt dirty, and she hid her secrets away in her backpack. Her new face would cover up all that grime, so at least she would look pretty.

“Alright Jane,” Mr. Jenkins said. “You’ve seen some masking before, so you’ll know the drill. You’ll stand in the middle of the stage with your parents on either side. Oh and don’t forget when to say your affirmations!”

“I…” Jane began to speak but was cut off by her father.

“Oh don’t worry, she studied. I made sure of it!”

“Well that’s just wonderful!” Mr. Jenkins responded. “Ah. It appears the students are making their way in.”

The doors of the auditorium swung open, and two rivers of white faces streamed into the room and filed their way through the bleachers into their seats.

“Alright let’s get this show on the road,” Father said.

Mr. Jenkins nodded and gestured for them to follow. They made their way onto the assembled stage. Jane stood in the center, and her mother and father took their positions next to her. The room filled with students, the door closed, and her mother and father each placed one of their hands on her shoulders. Mr. Jenkins stood at the podium and began to address the crowd.

“Hello.”

“Hello, Mr. Jenkins,” the students replied.

“How are we all feeling today?”

“We are feeling well today, Mr. Jenkins,” the students replied.

“Well isn't that wonderful. I just love hearing how well my students are feeling today, everyday, always. I love the smiles I see on each of your masks, the joy in your voices, the pep in your step. As each of you has grown up, I’ve come to expect that each of you will dedicate yourselves to becoming the pretty citizens that I know each of you can become, and today I have the honor and privilege to present to you an example of a girl who I’m certain will one day blossom into the pretty young women she was always meant to be. It hasn't always been easy,” the crown laughed, “Jane has always had a rebellious spirit. But I feel that, as she’s grown up under our guidance, she's ready to take on the responsibility of second school and truly begin to learn what it means to be pretty, and become a true member of our society. A member who waves to their neighbors, cares for their children, always remembers that to live in our society, is to live in a happy society, and most importantly, a pretty society.”

Jane began to scan the crowd. She looked at the students in the crowd, the girls in their dresses, some with polka dots, some without, some colored blue and others yellow. She looked at the boys wearing their white button-downs, their black pants, their red ties. She looked at the adults. The women in their dresses, some pink with polka dots, some wearing green without. She looked at the men in the crowd, each wearing their black suits with black pants, red ties, and clean haircuts. She saw a thin, tall man standing in the corner. His eyes locked on her.

Could that be? Mr. White? Why is he here?

Mr. Jenkins continued, “Jane, do you commit to becoming a happy member of society?”

“I do.”

“Jane, do you commit to becoming a pretty member of society?”

“I do.”

“Jane, are you committed to keeping our society happy, healthy, proper, and pretty?”

“I do, now and always.”

She nearly choked on her words. She was not pretty, or proper, and at this moment, she was not very happy. She was afraid. Afraid that one day someone would discover her secret. Afraid that her parents would disown her. Afraid that she would never truly be pretty like everyone else. She tried to be pretty, everyday she tried to be pretty. Perhaps that would count for something. Perhaps if they ever found out it would be her saving grace. But she’d rather not know.

Mr. Jenkins then opened the case next to him and took out the mask.

“Jane, I have the privilege of presenting you with your new mask. For as long as you wear it, you will be pretty.”

Mr. Jenkins walked over and took her old mask off her face. For the first and last time, her true face would be presented to the world, then covered again by her new vestige.

“Thank you,” she responded.

The crowd applauded, and her parents whispered sentiments of pride in her ear. Mr. Jenkins dismissed everyone and took her old mask away. As she saw the old mask of her childhood, her mind drifted to what her brother had said, “don’t forget about being a kid”. She couldn't help but hold that memory in her mind as the face of her childhood was stripped and taken away. Jane and her parents descended from the stage and through the crowd of her old peers. As she walked, she was showered with congratulations and praise slightly muffled, spoken from behind false faces. Cindy ran and gave her another hug, but Jane became awash with a strange guilt and pulled away.

“I’m sorry...I’m just a little overwhelmed. I’ll uh see you later?” Jane said while walking away.

“Oh, yeah definitely. See you later,” Cindy responded with some confusion.

Jane looked around at all the faces, masks, faces, and masks; they rushed and swirled around her. Masks called to her, “congratulations, Jane,” “good luck, Jane.” They were an ocean, a legion of smiling faces, they beckoned her, reached out to her, surrounded her, suffocated her. She couldn't breathe. Her heart began to beat, beat faster. She needed air, more air, there was no air in there, they were taking all her air with every word of praise, with every “You looked so pretty,” “You did so great,” “You must be so happy.” She reached for her mask on instinct to pull it off, just for a moment, just for a little air. She paused, she remembered, she won’t, she can’t, can’t breath. She broke into a sprint, an exit, she needed an exit.

“JANE!” her father’s voice called out. But it was too late. She had to get out. She ran for a back exit, flung the doors open, and took a deep breath.

The air was cool and soothing. As she breathed in and then out, she felt her pulse slow. She was able to catch her breath for a moment. She stayed there for a moment, perhaps more than a moment, before her parents found her.

“Are you alright Jane? You were in quite the rush,” her mother asked with a touch of concern in her voice.

“She’s just a little overwhelmed, that's all. She’ll be alright. Nothing a little rest won't fix,” her father inserted.

“Yeah...just need a little rest. Can we go home now?” Jane asked with an air of exhaustion.

“Yes of course,” her mother said, “let’s go home.”

The three of them began to walk home, and the sky began to dim a little as the day drew to a close. It wasn’t long before they arrived home. Father opened the door first, followed by Mother and Jane. They each removed their masks and placed them together in the cabinet. Although, one was missing.

“Where’s John?” Jane asked.

“Oh you know your brother,” Father said. “He’s been acting a little, well, ugly recently. No, not pretty at all. So he’s going to go stay with some people who are going to help him along his path to becoming a good, pretty, person.”

“Oh ok. But where is that exactly? Is it far? How long…”

“Jane Jane Jane, don’t worry. Your brother is going to be alright. You should think about yourself and your future. You’ll be starting second school soon and that's a so very important time in your life. Now your mother has some things to talk with you about.”

Father then turned and went upstairs.

“Jane dear, come with me.”

Jane and her mother walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table.

“Jane, after my masking, my mother and I had a conversation about my future, and now we’re going to have that same conversation. How much do you know about second school?”

“John never really talked about it.” 

“Yes, I know. He’s not supposed to. Second school is a very special and important time in a person's life, and only young men and women of a certain age are prepared to learn and understand the lessons taught there. At second school you're going to learn so much. How to behave, how to speak, how to keep a pretty and happy attitude. Because as you know, no one likes a bad attitude. It’s very important that you learn how to stay happy so everyone else can be happy too. You know if you're unhappy, then all you're going to do is make everyone else unhappy and that's not a pretty thing to do, is it?”

“No it’s not. Is that why John had to go away?”

“Yes dear, John had a very bad attitude. He just couldn't understand the very important lessons at second school. But I know you won’t have that problem, you're such a pretty young lady, you’ll do great. Then after you do such an amazing job, you’ll graduate and meet a nice young man. You’ll marry, have children, and those children will grow up, go to first school, then second, and they’ll graduate, find husbands and wives, and have children that will go to graduate school and meet more husbands and wives. And all those children will get to learn how to be happy, and healthy, and happy, and pretty, and everyday you’ll care for your children. You’ll wake up and take them to school, and cook for them, and clean for them, and everyday you’ll get to wake up and live a pretty day, everyday, always. That’s what we all want for you, Jane. It’s what we all need from you. It’s your duty, your purpose, your life. Do you understand my sweet, sweet Jane?”

“Yes Mother.”

Spring 2022