Life with Comics

People often look down on comic books as childish and overly indulgent to unrealistic imaginative experiments. But this is a pessimistic and far too "adult" lens through which to view comics. These fictional worlds that offer engaging visuals, create extraordinary yet relatable characters, and use accessible language affect countless individuals to bring them joy, comfort, and strength. No one better embodies the literary power of change that comic books can have than my father, Robert Cruz.

Born to 18-year-old Miriam Detres-Hickey and 20-year-old Roberto Sebastian in Manhattan, New York in 1965, my father, Robert Cruz, was discovered to be deaf.  The challenge this news posed caused Sebastian to abandon his family, leaving Miriam to raise Robert on her own and care for both his unique emotional and educational needs. 

As Cruz grew up he often felt lonely, and the way he resolved that feeling was by reading comic books. Though different narrative elements of heroes like Batman and Superman spoke to Cruz, one hero that Cruz connected with was Bruce Banner, a.k.a. The Incredible Hulk. 

Every superhero has their mundane alter-ego, and in The Incredible Hulk, vol. 2 #312 readers have their first opportunity to learn about Banner’s backstory. As a child, Banner loved to read and test science experiments. His scientific experimentation, however, happened against the backdrop of domestic abuse, with Banner’s father ultimately killing his wife. As a result, Bruce Banner found himself struggling with anger, loneliness, and fear. Though the experience of losing a loved one to abuse is not universal, the emotions that stem from that trauma are. My father shared those same feelings in his everyday life, making him feel particularly connected to the character of Bruce Banner. As a kid, Robert Cruz faced bullies and was often angered by his father’s abandonment. Cruz had been in three different fights by the time he was nine years old, each fight resulting in school suspension. But whenever he felt angry, he found himself reading his favorite Hulk comics to calm down. 

In my house growing up, my dad would often talk about his love for comics, saying, “I loved reading comic books, particularly the Hulk ones when I was angry. Not only did I share Banner’s anger, but I would see how he coped with that anger, and that showed me how I could cope with my anger.”

Before becoming the Hulk, Banner would meditate and do several breathing exercises to cope with his rage. Then, he would take long and meaningful walks. As Cruz got older, he imitated these exercises to help relieve him from the anger that he was feeling as a child. As he did the exercises, he became much calmer and found peace within his heart. As Robert began to learn to manage his anger, his family still felt that he needed to be somewhere else. 

When Robert was 10 years old, his mom moved the family to Miami, Florida out of fear that Manhattan was not a safe area for her son. The family of five found a small townhouse in Florida and grew closer together. There, my father no longer dealt with bullying and felt freed from much of the anger he had struggled with. Despite the social reprieve and the family bonding, Cruz found himself facing other challenges.

Three months after living in Florida, Robert’s mother lost her job as a waitress. The family was struggling financially and his mother was striving to raise five children on her own. The financial issues were so severe that they often found themselves having to share their meals or go without eating entirely. My father, at only 12 years old, found himself worrying about what the future held. As a way to deal with this undue stress, he found himself reading comic books once again. 

Before he moved to Miami, Robert did not have many friends. But his one and only friend in Manhattan shared his love for comic books. Cruz met his friend, Kevin, through his roommate, and they never stopped talking about comics. His friend had a particular affinity for the superhero Daredevil. Daredevil’s superhero schtick is that he is blind, but his other senses are strengthened due to this. In the 1986 Born Again story arc, Daredevil becomes homeless because one of his main villains, Kingpin, used his influence to get the IRS to freeze Daredevil’s bank account. Daredevil is forced to face the realities of poverty, and this experience is set against his previously lavish lifestyle. When Cruz and his family were struggling with finances, Cruz found himself buried in Daredevil comic books. The struggles that Daredevil faced were the same ones Robert had to live with. My father said that times were not easy during those days; however, seeing Mack Murdock (Daredevil’s alias) overcome the struggles gave him hope as a kid. 

“There were nights as a kid where I didn’t know if I would have food the next day. I was always stressed and didn’t know what to do. However, I will say when I saw Daredevil overcome financial difficulties that gave me hope as a young kid that everything would be okay,” my dad told me. 

A classic comic book trope is that the heroes have to overcome fantastic obstacles to help others. But an inherent struggle that accompanies this trope is the necessity of loving and being willing to serve other people no matter the cost. Due to his personal traumas, my father struggled in his childhood to love everybody else, but every time faced this obstacle, he turned to Superman comics. 

When Clark Kent was a child, people in his childhood often bullied and pushed him around. Even though he knew that he had the capacity to overpower the people who were taking advantage of him, Kent held the implicit knowledge that it would not be just to do so. The comic consistently pushes the message to love everybody no matter the treatment. This moral was extremely influential in shaping the interpersonal perspective my father has cultivated. It is one of love. 

When I asked my dad about it, he chuckled and said, “Obviously, I’m not Superman, but just seeing how good it is to love one another has always meant a lot to me. Even though people may not always be kind to you, loving them no matter what is always much more important.”

My father admitted that he doesn’t know how his life would have played out if it weren’t for comic books. These heroes face obstacles that, though often overblown and fictionalized, are rooted in real, relatable, human struggles. They manage to take these heavy topics and seemingly insurmountable obstacles and make them achievable and normal. They provide not only hope but comfort, joy, connection, love. When a young boy faced challenges, he should never have had to deal with at all, that hope was what he needed. Now, Cruz is known as the man who won several awards for helping others and working three jobs at once so that his family would not need to worry about finances. Comic books, in all their colorful, dramatic, and youthful glory, have transformed my father Robert Cruz into the incredible person that he is today. 

January 2022