Anjulee Baharally

Elaine looked herself over in the grand mirror one last time. She nodded, her lips locked into a tight smile as she patted the ruffles of her black dress. The exquisite grand mirror had been a gift that was given to her and her husband when they had gotten married. The beautiful gold trim shined as the light hit it ever so perfectly. The swirls protruded out the corner of the reflective glass, creating a tree like design.

She looked up into her own eyes as she noticed a shining trail down her face. That’s funny-- when had she started to cry?

A hand moved up to pat her face dry; she didn’t want to ruin the makeup she had worked so hard to apply. Normally she would never wear it; her husband had always told her how beautiful she looked without it. How much he loved everything she hated. How he disliked the fact she only felt beautiful with makeup on. Or how he would trace the side of her face with his fingers and tuck her hair behind her ear to admire her big, glassy, oval shaped eyes.

She heard the pitter-patter of tiny footsteps as her daughter ran into the room. The door was locked, but she didn’t remember locking it.

“Mama, I want to see father again. When will I get to see him again?” the small child pleaded as she clutched onto the folds of her mother’s dress. Her innocent face did nothing but tug at Elaine’s heart. Those words kept replaying in her mind. They hurt. They kept hitting her in the back of the head leaving a bump that would hold those words in the back of her mind.

“Soon, Jamie. You’ll see him soon,” Elaine choked out. She had swallowed her tears. She gulped down the feelings into her empty stomach, only making her even more hungry to tell her daughter the truth.

“Come on Jamie. It’s time to go.” Elaine gently tugged her daughter by the hand, out of the drawing room. Sensing the air of sadness, Jamie didn’t say a word. She followed behind her mom as she stumbled behind her. Elaine’s heels continued to knock against the hard word creating a melody her daughter would walk to.

Elaine placed her hand on the doorknob of the front door and inhaled deeply, reassuring herself that she could do this. Gripping Jamie’s hand tightly, she opened the door and stepped out, opening her umbrella. The water droplets from the sky gently hit her black shield and fell off onto the ground next to her. Her feet were getting wet but she couldn’t feel it. She didn’t care that her shoes were being drowned by the rain. Her umbrella shielded Elaine and Jamie from the wet droplets falling from the ominous sky. The sun was trying to open the curtains to spark its shine through, but the clouds weren’t budging.

Closing the door behind her and her daughter, she felt herself collapse, the twigs holding her emotional dam together finally snapping. The walls and barriers holding back the water finally broke. The rivers of tears fell out of each eye.

The umbrella fell from her hands and onto the grey concrete. Turning around, she dropped to her knees and hung on to her daughter’s shoulders for dear life. The only thing holding her together right now. The only thing close enough to grasp onto.

“Mama, Mama, please don’t cry, I’m here!” Jamie reassured as she patted her small hands on her mother’s back, trying to calm Elaine down like she had seen her father do before. Elaine looked up into her daughters eyes that were beginning to tear. She looked just like her father. His kind, whole hearted, sweet face. The light brown, soft smooth skin, with heart shaped lips.

“You look just like your father. Everything about you reminds me so much of him. You are such an amazing young girl. I’m so sorry you have to see me like this,” Elaine sobbed as her daughter watched. She picked herself up and wiped away her tears with her husband's red, silk handkerchief that had his aroma settled inside.

Her black dress was now wet and dirty at the knees. She didn’t care to change it though. Cause she knew her husband would love her anyways. No matter how dirty or helpless she looked. Jamie tightly grasped her mother’s hand as they continued to walk to the car. Elaine stopped at the door, hesitant to pull the handle. Her nose became red and she sobbed as she had run out of tears minutes ago.

She felt her knees give out on her as her face planted into her hands. As she pulled her face away from her shaking hands, she noticed her mascara and eyeliner were perfectly shaped on her fingertips. Her graham cracker brown foundation stained her hands as she began to wipe away the paint that concealed her natural beauty. The deep, ripe cherry red lipstick was then added to that stain on her fragile hands. She knew her husband would love to see her imperfect perfect face. Her plump full lips that held the color of a pink rose. He would love to see the bags under her eyes that costed her many nights of sleep to own them. The laugh lines that formed after the many jokes that were cracked at the table and in the car. The rain drenched her curly, dark hair. She looked up at her reflection in the car. She could see her husband holding her face in her palms as he admired every perfectly places flaw. His manly hands tucking her hair behind her head. She wiped each eye and smiled at her daughter. Placing a kiss on her forehead they hopped in the car without cleaning up. Cause she knew her husband would still look at her with the same wonderment and awe he had when they first met.

She attended the funeral with no makeup on.