Malik Hunter

Failure is something everybody deals with.

So why do I feel this way? Why do I develop depression from this?

Why do I have thoughts of suicide?

Why do I feel that everything I do is going to come out incorrect?

Even if I put my heart into it, I always find myself getting the short end of the beard.

Why am I always under somebody that shouldn’t be above me in talent, looks, charm, relationships, and pretty much the aspect of achieving in this thing call life?

Questioning my questions before I question something.

Thinking about my thinking in the wrong way, but somehow never think the right way.

It’s funny to me.

I can never understand why I should fail.

I’ve always thought that failure shouldn’t have existed because, it never gave anything in return, except emotional distress, and the unwanted comforting from a good friend of mine. Depression.

Every day, people always tell you that you should do this, you should do that. But for what?

Am I post to learn how to deal with pain and learn from it, so I could get the approval from the same people who did me wrong?

By saying I wasn’t good enough to do this, that I ain’t going nowhere.

Saying that I’m trash, I’m stupid, I’m ugly, I’m this, I’m that.

Pretty much saying to my face I ain’t shit, and I was never going to be shit.

Why should I get the approval from people in general? So I could end up being cool with them?

So I can finally say that I’ve inspired people to be just like me?

Everybody got answers, but don’t have their own.

You know what is one of the many questions that I’ve never gotten the answers to, what does it mean when you’re the richest or the most known person in the world?

Why should anybody or anyone focus on the idea of something that others aren’t so lucky on becoming?

Does it give you a clear mind of positivity, happiness, and maturity of growth?

Why should I have to deal with the pain of failure, so I can deal with more problems from success?

What I’m trying to ask is, if I become something special to people’s eyes later on in life, does make me a great failure as well?

I’ma failure knowing that I don’t understand the things I want to understand?

I’ma failure knowing that success isn’t my greatest friend right now?

Until I get that answer, I remain as a failure because I’ve still haven’t received the knowledge I need to figure out these questions yet.

When I grow up, I want to be dangerous

Dangerous enough that you have to kill me, but you can’t.

When I grow up, I want to be handsome.

So handsome that all the beautiful females will crawl to me with absolute desire.

When I grow up, I want to be paid in the finest gold and gems.

When I grow up, I want to be tall like the Titans who’ve first walk the land.

When I grow up, I want to be wearing the finest clothing.

When I grow up, I want to be great in bed, so I can pleasure any women I please.

When I grow up, I want to be a king, not a peasant looking for something.

When I grow up, I want to be in conversation amongst the greatest humans who’ve ever drawn blood.

The greatest names where most people can recognize.

When I grow up, I hope to be special, conversational, and worthy to each cell walking on the land of the free, the enslaved, the dumb, the smart, and the crazy.

When I grow up, I want to accepted by all.

Accepted by many, Accepted by plenty.

Blood circulating throughout my entire body

Rushing through my veins, with a clashing fury

Red is the color

Body parts are its friend and companion

It translates through the body of mine from its first companion.

Blood pumps my heart

A heart that gives me adrenaline that I need to move at my highest form.

Blood flows through my brain

A brain that gives me the idea of thinking, the freedom of speaking to practice my speeches, and gives the communications to my hands, feet, and head.

Blood that has cells of meaning and reasonings.

Blood that drips down from a cut off a body part.

Blood that causes a rush of splatter and split from a slit.

Blood is my dearest friend that I’ve never appreciated.

Blood gave me life

A life of boredom, happiness, and sadness

Blood is blood

And I am Blood closest friend.

You wouldn’t understand who I am even I tell you, face to face

You wouldn’t understand because you don’t me know me.

You see me, and what you see is a joke black skinned male.

You see me and look at me as a goofy, that doesn’t know much except what the was taught

You see me and laugh, joke, and try your hardest to break me down because you love to see my suffering in rage

You see me as a funny looking kid to make fun of

You see me as a rude kid when really I see you as just another person that’s just going to walk out of my life.

A distant memory in the back of my mind.

You see me as an angry person, when in reality I’m a person that needs a brother to talk to, to vibe with, and listen to.

You see me as a loser when really I’m trying to win.

Win everything I want to have and receive.

You see me as a crazed maniac, even though I’m loud in person, quiet in the mind, naturally calm.

You see me as another bum when really I’m trying to be special.

Do you understand that I’m trying to say, or you’re still struggling in my understanding of words of the understanding of myself?

If so, don’t try to read this again because you won’t be able to understand