Dating Violence

What is dating violence?

Dating violence can take place in person, online, or through technology. It can include the following types of behavior: 

• Physical violence is when a person hurts or tries to hurt a partner by hitting, kicking, or using another type of physical force.

• Sexual violence is forcing or attempting to force a partner to take part in a sex act and or sexual touching when the partner does not or cannot consent. It also includes non-physical sexual behaviors like posting or sharing sexual pictures of a partner without their consent.

• Psychological aggression is the use of verbal and non-verbal communication with the intent to harm a partner mentally or emotionally and/or exert control over a partner.

• Expressive Aggression - When your intimate partner has:

  • • Called you names (fat, ugly, crazy, stupid, etc.)

    • Insulted, humiliated, or made fun of you

    • Told you no one else would want you

    • Acted angry in a way that seemed dangerous

• Coercive Control - When your intimate partner has:

  • • Tried to keep you from seeing or talking to family or friends

    • Made decisions that should have been yours to make

    • Kept track of you by demanding to know where you were and what you were doing

    • Threated to hurt you, someone you love, or themselves because they were upset

    • Destroyed something that was important to you

• Stalking is a pattern of repeated, unwanted attention and contact by a partner that causes fear or concern for one’s own safety or the safety of someone close to the victim.

Facts about dating violence

Teen dating violence is common.

• • Nearly 1 in 11 female and approximately 1 in 14 male high school students report having experienced physical dating violence in the last year.

  • About 1 in 8 female and 1 in 26 male high school students report having experienced sexual dating violence in the last year.

  • 26% of women and 15% of men who were victims of contact sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime first experienced these or other forms of violence by that partner before age 18.

(Data from CDC’s Youth Risk Behavior Survey and the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey) 

What can you do to help yourself? 

• Connect with supportive and caring people, not those who might blame you for the abuse.

• Seek help through contacting a support hotline or scheduling a meeting with your counselor. 

• Safety Planning:

  • Identify safe areas you can go.

  • If possible, have a phone handy at all times and know what numbers to call for help.

  • Don't be afraid to call the police.

  • Let trusted family and friends know about your situation.