Performance Descriptor for Very High
‘Examines subtle connections between visual and/or audio features and the implications of these features in relation to persuading the intended audience.’
Avoid using personal pronouns - you are analysing argument, not involved in the debate
Need a refresher on negative, positive, neutral tones
You have understood the arguments well
Introduction clearly indicated the 7:30 report and the speakers' contentions
Structure of the responses are generally very good
Avoid saying 'formal' and 'informal' tone - expand your vocab here (Formal - serious, controlled, balanced / Informal - casual, candid)
If I have underlined the word 'issue' or highlighted something in yellow, then you need to be more specific in those moments. Whether you need to include specific evidence or elaborate more
Write in present tense
Avoid contractions in formal writing
Understanding where you are at
Low: Describes techniques associated visual and/or audio features.
Medium: Explores examples of visual and/or audio features with reference to persuasive intent.
High: Explains patterns of visual and/or audio features and considers how the author is using these for persuasive effect.
Very high: Examines subtle connections between visual and/or audio features and the implications of these features in relation to persuading the intended audience.
Simple/vague
His statement aims to highlight the harmful impacts and encourages change regarding this issue.
Getting there
His statement aims to highlight the harmful impact of social media and encourages change regarding this issue.
Very good
His statement aims to highlight the harmful impact of social media on young people's mental health and well-being, with the hope of prompting the government and parents to implement changes in social media usage.