Through my artwork I aim to present a visual expression of my emotions as an individual, but also as a teen who, like many my age, does not have a clear sense of direction in life. The purpose of the body of work presented in my exhibition is to provide insight into my own emotions while maintaining the ability for viewers to create their own personal interpretations that connect to the visual tone. This is done by creating a tone that relates to shared moods and struggles. Each painting is named with a specific word with a highly specific definition; these words speak for the tone of the piece and therefore it is necessary to note the definition of each title as it allows for deeper understanding of the work. In all ways, my artwork is about me—but it is presented in a manner that allows for my audience to connect with each other and myself in common understanding of the pain life can cause.

The bulk of my exhibition work consists of oil paintings, with the exception of an acrylic and charcoal piece. In the charcoal piece King Krule and my three black-and-white oil paintings—Duende, Tacenda, Litost—I explored a new form of application regarding my materials: abandoning any form of base sketch I relied only on my knowledge of proportions and, for the charcoal piece, stepping back and critically comparing my work to my reference photo. It is a messy process that chiefly consisted of chaotic application of material, getting down basic shapes and values, and refining from there, which I rather enjoyed and decided to permanently adopt. My work relies heavily on the use of limited palette due to the fact that I find it not only aesthetically pleasing to the piece, but it also helps convey the specific range of emotions intended for the work. For instance: a palette of washed out, blank colors I find helps to convey an emotion of exhaustion (used in my piece Macrid). Or: the use of an earthy and organic palette, with hazy blending, allows for the feeling of melancholy to reach the audience (such as in Hiraeth). Limited palette aids communication of the theme of the body work, which is displacement; loss; hopelessness; dreariness; life; and on a deeper level, acceptance, in a way that is understandable to viewers.

Through this arrangement, the audience follows a story from exhaustion to the feeling of being lost in oneself, and the ultimate acceptance of that emotion, until one finally reaches the displacement from reality, or a dream-like state. In order to further create a relationship between the viewer and the body of work, I focus on the use of portraits as I personally feel that they spark a more immediate and intimate connection between viewer and viewed. Additionally, expressions of the figure are a strong method of communication. My work is derived from things that are not necessarily pristine or perfect, but are loaded with emotions and meaning. I use it as a manner to cope with my own personal difficulties and depression, and it is therefore an extension of myself. I paint out of necessity and in that way have an extremely personal connection with my work, making this exhibition a sort of naked representation of my “self.” In sharing my work with others I hope to elicit a reaction of deep, intimate emotion and create an understanding of shared pain.

Alette van Dijk