Family Distress and the Holidays

As the owner of Blue Bee Counseling- Brandie deals with a lot of anxiety, distress, and trauma from those that are going to spend time with their family over the holidays. We get it! It can be so scary to see your family, especially if you have not seen your family in a long time! There is a lot of physical touch from family members that may be unwanted, and there is a lot of noise and commotion. There also may be anxiety surrounding certain family members, past family traumas, different belief systems, or different political stances and the comments associated with them. All of this can be alarming during the holiday season and may cause a lot of stress and anxiety. 

Here are some solutions to help relieve some of your stress and anxiety while visiting and seeing your family members: 

1. Allow the family to win 

              It is okay to let your family members win some of the arguments, fights, or conversations. Recognize that it is not worth the anxiety and the battle and let it go. 

2. Connect with things that matter

               Connect with your family members on a level that is relevant to them. Ask them about their lives and get to know them better. This helps bring awareness and understanding to their situations and where they might be at.

3. Create boundaries 

                 Set specific boundaries. If you have anxiety about a certain activity, then set your boundaries that you will not be attending that portion of the day. If you don’t like cooking the chicken how your mom wants you to cook it for the party, then set boundaries that you will be cooking it the way that you would like. If you want to leave early, then set those boundaries. Make the environment a good environment for you and help yourself decrease the levels of your anxiety. It's ok to also give the gift of letting your loved ones win. Maybe you would rather not play that certain game, but choose to do so because it makes everyone happy. Create some space to be agreeable. 

4. Be self aware 

               Recognize what bugs and irritates you. By recognizing what sets the trigger for you before hand, then you are better able to control your emotions and feelings and also recognize what makes you frustrated. Come up with a plan before hand so that you can control these emotions when they may arise. 

Being with the family over the holidays may be difficult! These tips are not a replacement for therapy. If you are feeling overly anxious then please come visit us! We would be happy to help you personally set specific goals and boundaries that work for you and would better your anxiety over the holidays. 

Call us today to get on our schedule! 801-821-4501

If you would like to study this topic further, then listen to our podcast! We talk all about these tips, and implement personal experiences to help you better feel relieved from your anxiety during the holidays.