SEL Strategies for Parents

Why Make Family Plan for Behavior at Home:

• Compared to adults, children are more vulnerable to emotional impacts of traumatic events that impact their daily lives,

• Children impacted by special circumstances such as behavioral needs or preexisting mental, physical, or developmental needs are particularly at risk of being impacted by the changes in their routines for daily living

• Creating and focusing on family plans at home can provide a sense of calm an security for children, but can also provide something positive to focus on for families as a whole.
  

1. Set a Family Routine

   • Routines are activities that we do every day as a family, such as getting ready in the morning. Make a list of things you do as a family in the order that you do them.

   • The more consistent the routines and schedules can be, the easier it will be to support prosocial behavior and prevent challenging behavior at home.

     • Kids know what to expect and when to expect it

2. Set Home Expectations - What we want to see

   • Choose Expectations: What you see

   • Choose a few expectations that work with your family schedule.

     • Add examples to show what it looks like, sounds like, and feels like to follow your family expectations. And be as specific as you can be.

   • Keep it Positive! Have expectations positively stated with what they SHOULD do.

     • Follow your class schedule vs. Don’t miss class

3. Teach, Remind, and Acknowledge

   • Remember remote learning is new to everyone

   • We have to teach the specific expectations several times

   • Then we remind children of the expectations

   • Acknowledge them for meeting expectations

4. Correcting Behavior

   • In addition to teaching, rewarding, and reminding, you may need to correct behavior. When a hild makes an errer, provide a quick correction or redirection. For example, if you observe your child showing disrespectful behavior to others:

     • Quickly correct or signal the error (“That was not respectful”)

     • Re-state the expected behavior (“We speak kindly to each other to show respect”)

     • Provide an opportunity for positive interaction

     • Provide the child with positive feedback

   • The goal for correction or redirection to be calm, brief, and provide an opportunity for the child to practice the desired behavior.

   • Maintain a 5:1 Ratio of Positive Feedback

     • The goal is to maintain a ratio of 5 positive interactions or praise statements for every 1 negative or corrective statement.

       • Can include a thumbs up, or a directed smile

     • Remind instead of Correct

       • Remind children of the behavior you want to see, before the behavior is expected

     • To decrease undesired behavior, you can also teach alternatives

5. Choose a good place to learn

   • Your family’s regular space for occasional homework space, may not work for extended periods of time for receiving instruction.

   • Set up a quiet location that is dedicated to school-focused activities.

     • Make sure it is quiet and free from distractions

     • Has a good internet connection

     • Has all necessary supplies

     • Make sure an adult monitors online learning when possible

6. Stay in Touch

   • Teachers will mainly be communicating regularly through our online platforms, email, and virtual learning environments

   • Make sure everyone knows how to fund the help they need to be successful

   • Stay in contact with the classroom and support teachers, school leaders and counselors but understand it may take a day or two for them to respond. If you have concerns, let someone know!

7. Help Students “Own” Their Learning

   • No one expects parents to be full-time teachers or to be educational and content matter experts

   • Provide support and encouragement, and expect your children to do their part

   • Struggling is allowed and encouraged! Don’t help too much

   • Becoming independent takes lots of practice

8. Begin and End the Day by Checking In

   • In the morning, you might ask:

     • What classes/subjects do you have today?

     • Do you have any assessments?

     • How will you spend your time?

     • What resources do you need?

     • What can I do to help?

   • At the end of the day you might ask:

     • How far did you get in your learning tasks today?

     • What did you discover? What was hard?

     • What could we do to make tomorrow better?

     • 2 Stars and a Wish - two good things about today, and a wish for tomorrow

9. Establish Times for Quiet and Reflection

   • For families with children of different ages, and parents who may also be unexpectedly working from home more often, it is good to build in some time for peace and quiet

     • Siblings may need to work in different rooms to avoid distraction

     • Many families will need to negotiate access to devices, priorities for wifi bandwidth and schedules throughout the day

     • One day a week to be planned for independent, low stress learning. Reading is fundamental.

     • Noise cancelling headphones are a good idea

10. Manage Stress and Make the Most Out of an Unusual Situation

    • We are going through major upheaval to our normal routines and ways of life, and there is a great deal of anxiety in the world right now.

    • Emotions may be running high, and children may be worried or fearful

    • Parents may be stressed as well, and children are often keenly aware of trouble

    • Children benefit when they get age-appropriate factual information and ongoing reassurance from trusted adults

    • It is often possible to reframe challenges as opportunities: for spending time together, discovering new ideas and interests, investing energy and attention in activities that often get pushed aside by everyday tasks and responsibilities

    • Experts advise that it is a good idea to slow down, find beauty, enjoy unexpected benefits, and express gratitude by helping others.

11. Connection is Key!

    • The initial excitement of school being closed fades quickly when students start to miss their friends, classmates, and teachers.

    • Help your children maintain contact with friends through social media and other online technologies, but monitor your child’s social media use.

12. Model and Promote Emotional Wellness

    • Take breaks from the news or social media

    • Take care of your body by engaging in deep breathing, stretching, exercising, and getting plenty of sleep.

    • Make time for an enjoyable activity, and connect with others by talking to them.