Depression Index

Are You Depressed? Can’t afford therapy? Can’t get a diagnosis on your alleged depression? Neither can we! That’s why we made this highly scientific quiz during our lunch break yesterday! For everyone whose health insurance doesn’t cover mental health, this quiz is for you! 

For every question you answer “yes” add one point.

1. Can you remember the last time you smiled? 

2. Have you gotten out of bed at least once this week? 

3. Did you take a shower within the past month? 

4. Have you worn clothes that were not pajamas at least once in the past month? 

5. Have you had human contact in the past week? 

6. Have you gone outside at least once this month? 

7. Have you brushed your teeth in the past week? 

8. Have you had a conversation with an actual person at least once this week?

9. Have you expressed a positive emotion in the past week? 

10. Can you exist without having racing thoughts for more than thirty seconds? 

11. Do you have at least one friend, pet, or houseplant? 

12. Have you been able to engage in any hobbies at least once this week? 

13. Have you seen something that amused you in the past week? 

Results: 

0 Points: You have depression. Make sure to put it in your bio on all your social media websites! How else will people know?

1-13: You’re fine. Try going outside. Maybe get a hobby. Everyone feels sad sometimes. Try to be happy.  That usually solves everything. 

About the Author

Rosie Stein is a senior English Major. She usually writes young adult fiction and someday hopes to publish a novel. When she isn't writing, she is playing video games, reading, or spending time with her pet rabbit.