A eulogy to finding love...

You Do Not Have to Love Me 

It’s okay

You do not have to love me 

Even though your smile knocks the air that I breathe 

right from my chest, making me want to take my heart 

And jump into the closest oblivion 

Your bright brown eyes puts a cup of piping hot coffee to shame

Your sincerity produces red rouge into my cheeks

Your voice drawls over my name and, 

it wounds me 

Every smile I gave 

Every hot chocolate I snuck you

Every day you made me feel so 

Warm. 

But you lucked out 

Because what I feel for you 

doesn’t seem like anything you feel for me

Empty promises of dates filled with ice cream

A Snapchat streak full of black screens

A game of flirtation that leaves me feeling unseen 

I’m so tired of feeling empty 

Man oh men, never know how to acknowledge me

I listen, I speak

I get rejected, and I weep 

I held on so tight to the string you let tail behind you 

You let the thread pull apart and I sat silently 

Still holding onto the loose end

Even though your likes for me were pretend 

I wanted you to be my boyfriend, but it’s okay 

You do not have to love me

You do not have to hold my hand and 

be the love I’ve always cherished from a man 

You do not have to love me because 

I’m coming to terms with understanding my worth 

And I deserve someone who’s sure about me 

You do not have to love me because 

I weave my love around the hearts 

of my friends and my chosen family 

So I apologize that those coffee eyes couldn’t see the signs 

I can’t believe I wasted my time on a guy 

who didn’t want to rule the world, and defy gravity with me 

You used to take the words from my mouth, but 

now I’ll speak: 

Your ears no longer deserve my honesty, 

because mine have only heard your deceit 

So I hope someday someone holds tight enough to your string 

Waiting for you to act on their feelings 

Because I am not waiting 

for you anymore.

Love is Like

Love started out like the kindergartener 

I married at recess

I was the tall kid for a brief moment in my life, 

and he was short.

I stared down into his eyes as he fidgeted 

with the dandelions 

we picked out of the jagged sidewalk.

“I… I- love you,” he stuttered, blew a kiss, 

and ran away from me. 

I told my mother that afternoon 

after getting off the bus, 

“I’m in love, and I’m married,”

Love continued falsely and innocently, 

when I realized hormones were a real thing 

A boy smiled at me once, brushed up against 

my arm by accident, 

and I assumed he was infatuated with me.

That summer I watched his every move 

I thought he was, “The One”

The one always got first place in Mario Kart

The one played little league baseball

Then the one moved away

Love got bold and confusing 

Love started to come with expectations of 

a relationship that I had never heard of

Love was kids making out in front of my middle school locker, 

the grab a girl’s ass day, 

the “rate who's prettier and claim her as bae”.

Love turned into a horny sexist game that 

little boys played

So I decided to let the love 

that I had my whole life to find, 

to leave me. 

And I turned the authentic love over to 

my chosen family. 

Love became late night Wawa runs and licks of liquor 

School nights filled with supposed to be study groups 

Talking for hours on end, not seeing each other for days

And still fucking smiling when we finally 

saw each other anyway

Getting together like no time has been frayed 

Love tried to knock for me again

But my self love hadn’t arrived yet, 

so I told sis to hang tight 

Until I could love these curves, this hair

Until I could embrace the independence 

Until I could love who I was on my own. 

That is when she could come home

She knocked again for me 

And if had a dime for every time she knocked 

at the right place 

But the wrong time

I’d be so rich 

Because I wanted this one, 

but love 

isn’t always kind.

Dating a Black Woman 

1. People don’t want to date black women. Period. 

2. We’ve been trying to find or follow which loser wrote in the constitution that we are not desirable.

3. We are undeniably beautiful, we are different, but people do not prefer us because of our pigment.

4. I once found a crumbled up sheet on a table in middle school where boys rated all of the pretty girls in our 8th grade class and I had the lowest score. Out of the four boxed categories: Smart, Hot, Funny, and Nice. I got a 2 out 4. And one boy wrote bitch under nice. 

5. People don’t like when black women are angry. They think we cause a scene, they think it’s not that deep. They bully and stereotype us until we no longer want to speak.

6. When you date a black woman, be ready for the kind of laugh that’s so powerful that it makes you laugh. Be ready for a smile that lights up a whole room, someone who was born to mature quicker, so will always take care of you.

7. Be ready for a home cooked meal that feels like heaven, the flavors melting together like the feeling of good weather. 

8. She will be late, she will make you late by doing her makeup and making sure every piece of her hair is laid. And most importantly she will make mistakes, but in time, you better realize you’ve found a gold mine. 

9. If we had a dime for everytime finding love has made us feel worthless, we’d have the most success in this business of a country. But there’s no money in this world, that could make up for what we deserve because:

10. The question should not be when we find love, it should be when it finds us. Because when   you date a black woman, you will find they’re still stuck in trying to love themselves because they couldn’t help believing what the world perceives them as, but something you should know is that: we are resilient. We love hard because we are different, odds are always against us so we treat love like it’s something we don’t crave. So don’t be afraid to take us on a date. 

Flowers 

He and I 

We fell how flowers bloom 

Together slowly, rooted 

Binded from afar 

They say love ebbs and flows

They say it grows and withers with time, 

time. 

Like a century old grandfather clock working

Twenty four hours shift changing, 

rearranging the nooks and crannies

We grow up reading novels about epic love stories 

Believing that our one true love is to come along 

when we turn sixteen 

First fluttery kisses and tugs on heartstrings, we learn that 

people do not weave healthily through soil 

when watered 

Only a few are actually capable of growing together 

Love is fitful 

Filled with lies that the world has spread like pollen

So upon being done wrong, 

I stopped looking for the love that I deserved

Because even when I was deserving 

no one made me feel what I was worth.

Until I found what I thought was

The love of my life

Then, we fell apart like weeds.

Pulled each other from the ground 

until there was nothing.

philosophy 

The way that my dad looks at my mom

While she’s making dinner 

Always makes me ponder

I never understood

Why we search the world 

For someone to love 

For someone to hug and to cry with 

For someone to die with 

But as humans we crave the kind of affection 

The kind of protection we can’t always give to ourselves 

So we want to share that with someone else 

I believe that I want to share that with someone too 

But I don’t want to keep searching for someone new 

I just want to give all the love I have to you

You’re perfect, 

but you don’t see me 

like I see you.

About the Author

Daijah Patton is a senior English/Creative Writing major, minor in Secondary Education and she has been writing poetry since she was in middle school. Poetry has been such a strong outlet for her, and she loves to share it with others by spreading awareness about important topics, and sharing her own personal stories. In her free time you will find Daijah either cooking/baking, reading several works of fiction and poetry, telling you crazy stories about her students, and giving you recommendations for any streaming TV Shows and movies to watch.  Daijah is the recipient of the 2022 Excellence in Creative Writing Award.