The In Between

Oh, Summer: 

This death for me is only fading,

because I have always been stiff. Silent.

and untameable. 

Oh Winter, it’s ironic, because I feel like this life, this life in which I give only as way to receive, is getting 

stronger.

with its breaths of love and hate - it’s getting stronger

I can’t fade when the rays of the sun shine

illuminating, even elongating, the smiles and scowls of

people

people passing by

while i sit here waiting for the life 

to be sucked back into the limbo between stiffness and beauty

beauty that i can’t maintain, only burn

just as i continue to try to burn the bridge in-between us

spring.

I 

am eerie

build beauty-

my landscapes swirl, the

aurora borealis my flare, my skirts, the 

icicles fingernails, that break and grow again. 

I am devastation

wrapped and shattered, raw and muffled, I

do not accept compromises,

but others have learned to live with me

and thrive

and manage to survive. 

And you, you were never willing

to try. 

I 

am 

deliberate

actions speak louder than

existence.

the sun, just there 

does nothing

but the eagerness to give just to see

see something, anything

is loud,

very loud

the sunburn, people peel, only for it to start again

i do not accept finite things, anything

but i thought you of all people, Winter,

would understand that others don’t just learn to live with me

they want to do more than just see the sunrise

they want to feel like they have control

and even, maybe, feel interested in any disconnect or element of surprise.

This death for me it feels like melting.

Water in the limbs, the dissolution

of cold snaps, life-blood.

I breathe ice

only for you to break. 

This life for me, it feels like burning

But careful burning, the limbo, the fear of

losing my control

Becoming like Icarus

Too untamed,

But I’m sucked way too deep in your brain.

Sick of bringing light

only for your air to erase

More reasons than stars

why we shouldn’t be together. 

You, a tempest, and me, a tyrant,

You took everything from me. 

You reign while I lie, unmoored, unmourned, out

of sight, ready myself

for another blood-draw,

remind myself how your damn light 

licks away all of my most delicate constructions

pantheons, my monuments.

All testaments

to crisp

and clear –

not dead

but cold. 

You bend, and I break

we play this little game

wherein you taunt me with your almost half embrace

and then you dominate, force me to succumb 

we swore we’d never fantasize 

hoped with our rationale, we’d rationalize

But here we are

And already you make me crumble, you make me less

than liquid, I sink

just for a taste of your touch.

Hating you, holding me, 

Are we both wishing for a moment for lesser extremes?

A twilit in-between, lips

brush lips, 

and we do daffodils, we 

become hyacinthus, 

forsythia. 

Breaths 

stop, eyes

drop, you let me

go

And the last thing I see before undoing

is not you, Summer,

but us: spring.

About the Authors

Ryland McGinniss is a first year History and English major with a minor in Gender and Sexuality Studies. He loves to do advocacy work whenever he can, and honestly you'll probably see some of that reflected in his writing. When he's not busy with writing, he listens to music and one of his most prized possessions is his concert t-shirt collection. 

Julianna Reidell is a first-year English and French major at Arcadia University. She has received gold and silver medals for her humor writing and poetry at the national level of the Scholastic Art and Writing Awards. Her work can also be found in the magazines Teen Ink and Stone Soup, as well as on the teen comedy site The Milking Cat. One day, she'll write a novel.