My Dearest Child

A happy day as your image moves

They all gather round, by your spirit beguiled

Shifting and playing within my growing belly

A tender trap for you, my dearest child

But no father stands at my side for this

Nor, I’m certain, will there ever be one

For he left as soon as he knew of you

As is his privilege in this situation

If I were to leave you

What an outcry that would be

O horrid mother who would abandon the babe

That came from beneath her knee

Not so for him who fled into the void

Off to fulfill his dreams as he chooses

While I am left with your burgeoning weight

Inescapable mark of the one who loses

My body is ravaged by illness at what I've done

May I retch all my poor decisions into this vile spew

As aches wrack my sore, exhaustion-wrought limbs

And my family laughs, eagerly waiting for you

They look at me now and see only the bulge

The precious space you fill so well

Ah, how their eyes dance with joy and gratitude

They praise me only on how well I swell

Where the creature of my woe lies

In that womanly space called my womb

In the darkest corners of my heart

I will it secretly to be your tomb

Why should my success be hinged on you?

O loathsome creature, o infant parasite

While your sire flees the scene no worse for wear

And leaves me drowning with weighted, futile spite

Why should no law bind him in place

When I must carry the accident of his play?

How can he vanish without paying a cent

Towards the life that for him I had to disarray?

Don't blame me for this sickening creation

Don't cry I did not protect my now-infested garden

When my future is derailed and my wallet sucked dry

And my partner in crime is granted instant pardon

But yet I smile, yes now I smile

As a swollen infection takes my middle

Bulging with the inflammation of life

As I become the newest mistress of life's grand riddle

The miracle of life, the wondrous mystery

May I tear it asunder before you break into the wild

For it is not fair that I should be damned with you

The worst of all traps, my dearest child

About the Author

Jazmin Collins has done many crazy things in her lifetime - flying an airplane, sticking her hand inside a living cow's stomach, using the men's restroom in every foreign country she's visited, and more - while remaining unable to ride a bike. She's hoping to do even crazier things in the future, such as publish her first original novel while double-majoring in English and Computer Science at Arcadia University. When she's not making conversation-starting memories, she can be found curled up with a good sci-fi or fantasy novel, or working on one of her own.