Restorative conversations are a short (5-10 minute) dialogue between two people. Typically, this occurs between a teacher and student; however, it can be used in almost any context including a principal and teacher or staff member. These are intentional conversations that start off positive and give the student or other party the opportunity to reflect some positive things as well. Once the concern or issue is stated then both parties work to figure out how to heal the harm. Afterwards, it's always best to have both parties check in a couple of days or a week later to see how things have changed.

Restorative Conversations look similar to any one-on-one conversation a teacher/staff/administration may have with a student - the difference with a Restorative Conversation is the emphasis upon the positive at the onset to establish a positive tone.

● Set the tone and establish common ground

Thank you for taking the time to talk with me….

● Set ground rules and time frame:

This should take 5-10 minutes...

● Give the student a genuinely positive message

I notice that you are really good at…..

● Ask the student 1 or 2 things they like about class

What is working for you in our class?

● Ask the student to share concerns

Tell me about what’s not working for you…..

● State your concern

● Ask if the student sees how his/her behavior impacts others

Can you see how your behavior impacts your goals?

● Ask how you can both address the problem

What can we both do about this?

● Clarify the agreement

So, what we can do is….

● Thank them for talking

• Teacher: thanks for being willing to talk with me I just wanted to check in with you quickly hear your perspective. I'll make sure you have plenty of time to talk, and I'll keep my words as brief as possible.

• Student: OK

• Teacher: I've really appreciated how helpful you are when we have to straighten up the classroom. You're always ready to help out and even get your friends to join in. That's been great to see.

• Student: Yeah, my friends are kind of sloppy.

• Teacher: Can you think of anything you like about how class has gone this semester?

• Student: Videos are good and I like when we get out of class early.

• Teacher: Thanks for that. Is there anything that concerns you about class or you wish were different?

• Student: Eh, class is boring and everyone's always so loud you can't think.

• Teacher: I hear you. I'm trying really hard to keep our class in order and finding it really challenging these past few weeks. That's part of the reason I wanted to talk with you. I've noticed that lately you are getting out of your seat during class and talking with friends. When I ask you to go back to your seat you don't seem to hear me and I often have to ask you several times. Today, for example, you talked with one of your friends during class and I had to stand next to you in order to get you back into class. Can you see how that might be a bit disruptive to our class? Or maybe how it contributes to how loud class is?

• Student: I was just talking to my friend about a homework.

• Teacher: I'm glad you wanted to find out about homework and I will absolutely give you a chance during class to ask those questions; however today, it was really disruptive and I felt like you were ignoring my requests to return to your seat. Can you see how your conversation today was really distracting?

• Student: Everyone else does it.

• Teacher: I know, it's a problem and I'll talk with others as well and right now I want to focus on you and what we can do prevent this in the future. What you think is possible?

• Student: I guess I'll stop talking to my friends.

• Teacher: OK, what's the best way to get you back to your seat if you do get up again?

• Student: Just tell me.

• Teacher: Great, I'll do that. I'll also try and talk to you after class again if this happens, but I think we've got a good understanding right now. Thanks for talking with me and I really look forward to seeing you tomorrow. Thanks.