Reflection:Â
I've had my dad on my mind so much lately. He is not doing well. This has brought up a lot of harrowing childhood memories for me and brought on a lot of anxiety. My brother and I have been working on trying to keep him involuntarily committed until his medications start working again. My dad was deported to Canada, so this involves spending hours on the phone talking with police, social workers, judges, and lawyers in Canada. He has done some dangerous things in the past few months. Fortunately, he has not hurt anyone physically. My biggest fear is that he will hurt someone. During this time, he called me multiple times a day, leaving messages yelling because I didn't answer, or if I answered, he ranted about how everyone was against him. It's tough because I never know how he is going to be. Sadly, it's not usually a delightful conversation. This is the first digital poetry piece I've ever created, and I LOVED the experience. I enjoyed finding sound clips that helped evoke the emotions I felt when I wrote the words and found the images. I think the combo of sound, image, and text creates a story that shows the anxiety and sadness my relationship with my dad brings. Writing this piece helped me reflect on what is so difficult about talking to him and all the negativity he brings when he returns. I realized that I need to focus on how lucky I am to have a fantastic husband and dad for my kids instead of focusing on my father's bad choices and the disappointment he continually creates.