Parenting Resources

Movie nights:  25 movies to spark spiritual discussions with your teen by Bob Smithouser  (Tyndale, 2002)

Bob Smithouser is senior editor of plugged in online, a Focus on the Family website dedicated to "shining a light on the world of popular entertainment".  This resource provides descriptions and reviews of new & old movies, videos, t. v. shows, music & games, and includes features like 'culture clips' and a live blog.  Content is available to read online, listen to as a podcast, discuss on their blog, and they even have an Iphone app!  An exciting feature for parents is their link to 'movie nights' for teens or children!

Quiet - the power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking by Susan Cain (Crown, 2012)

At least one-third of the people we know are introverts. They are the ones who prefer listening to speaking, reading to partying; who innovate and create but dislike self-promotion; who favor working on their own over brainstorming in teams. Although they are often labeled "quiet," it is to introverts that we owe many of the great contributions to society--from van Gogh's sunflowers to the invention of the personal computer. Passionately argued, impressively researched, and filled with indelible stories of real people, Quiet shows how dramatically we undervalue introverts, and how much we lose in doing so. This extraordinary book has the power to permanently change how we see introverts and, equally important, how introverts see themselves. See also http://www.thepowerofintroverts.com/

 Habits of the high-tech heart:  living virtuously in the information age by Quentin Schultze (Baker Academic, 2002)

"What are the new information technologies 'doing' to us as human beings?  Quentin Schultze's exploration of this question has amazing breadth and offers profound insights.  This is a virtuous book about cultivating the virtues in an information age."--Richacd J. Mouw, president, Fuller Theological Seminary

"...The point is that putting excessive hopes in a computer upgrade may degrade our humanity.  The point is that the techno-utopian promise of a global village may lead to a globe of village idiots, especially moral idiots.  To really get the point, get, and read, this book."--Richard John Neuhaus

A fundamental Christian perspective on the information age we're living in.

Engaging your teen's world - become a culturally savvy parent by Brian Housman (Brazos, 2009)

"Parents often make decisions out of fear, trying to protect their teen from "the world," and may blame the culture for the problems in their family. Engaging Your Teen's World encourages parents to move past unhealthy "us vs. them" mentalities and lead their teen to redeem the culture instead.

This conversational book guides parents to become a greater influence in their teen's world without squelching their child's individuality. It reveals which values drive a teenager's motivations and offers practical ideas on how families can together engage the world through service and love. Engaging Your Teen's World includes discussion questions for each chapter, making it a useful resource for small groups or for youth pastors who want to lead parent discussions."

Winning your kids back from the media  by Quentin Schultze   (Intervarsity Press, 1994)

Quentin J. Schultze is professor of communication arts & sciences at Calvin College, and a nationally recognized media expert.  According to Schutze, if you don't parent your children, the media will:  high-tech media communication is threatening to replace low-tech family communication.  "I don't believe families can survive the onslaught without a commitment to building deep, rewarding relationships with family and close friends," says Schultze.  And that was written in 1994--how much more true today!

Here is a book filled with encouraging stories from the author's own home front and solid strategies for making the media your family's servant rather than its master.

Born digital:  understanding the first generation of digital natives by John Palfrey and Urs Gasser(Basic Books, 2008)

"From now on, any attempt to understand what it is like to grow up or to live one's life in a digital world must begin with this outstanding, original synthesis."--Howard Gardner, author of Multiple Intelligences

from inside cover:  "The first generation of 'Digital Natives'--children who were born into and raised in the digital world--are coming of age, and soon our world will be reshaped in their image.  Our economy, our politics, our culture, and even the structure of our family life will be forever transformed."

Read this after/in conjunction with  Quentin Schultze's seminal Christian perspective (see above) on how to live virtuously in this 'digital world.

Eyes Wide Open - looking for God in popular culture by William Romanowski (Brazos, 2007)

Grounded in Christian principles, this accessible and engaging book offers an informed and fascinating approach to popular culture. William D. Romanowski provides affectionate yet astute analysis of familiar, well-loved movies and television characters from Indiana Jones to Homer Simpson, and he speaks with historical depth and expertise on films from Casablanca to Crash and music from Bruce Springsteen to U2. Romanowski's confessional approach affirms a role for popular culture in faithful living. Practical, analytical approaches to content, meaning, and artistic style offer the tools to participate responsibly and imaginatively in popular cultural activities. An engaging read, this new edition introduces students and thoughtful readers to popular culture--one of the most influential forces in contemporary society.

Disconnected - parenting teens a in myspace world by Chap Clark and Dee Clark (Baker, 2007)

Parents worry they don't have the understanding or training to be able to care for their kids in a world that is increasingly superficial, politicized, and performance driven. Disconnected makes the concepts and strategies described in the bestselling Hurt: Inside the World of Today's Teenagers accessible to parents. After the overwhelming response to Hurt, authors Chap and Dee Clark here equip parents with an up to date, realistic parenting book that doesn't ignore the harsh realities of adolescent life. It builds a foundation for parents by describing exactly how things have changed, takes them through the various developmental stages their children go through, and gives them workable paradigms for parenting. Christian authors.

Packaging Girlhood - rescuing our daughters from marketers' schemes by Sharon Lamb (St. Martins, 2006)

"A cautionary account of how culture, media, and marketers influence how girls dress as well as their developing senses of identity and esteem counsels parents on how to talk to their daughters in order to help them build resilience against negative stereotypes and messages."

Girls on the edge:  the four factors driving the new crisis for girls by Leonard Sax (Basic Books, 2010)

According to Leonard Sax, a family physician and psychologist,  many girls today may look confident and strong on the outside, but inside, they're fragile.  He describes how sexual identity, the cyberbubble, obsessions and environmental toxins are contributing to a crisis for girls today.  He provides parents the tools they need to help girls become independent and confident women.

Boys adrift:  the five factors driving the growing epidemic of unmotivated boys and underachieving young men  by Leonard Sax (Basic Books, 2007)

"In this bold and powerful look at boys today, Dr. Leonard Sax draws on his clinical experience to explain why our young men are failing in school and disengaged at home.  He shows how we have created an environment that is literally toxic to boys, and shares practical advice on homework, video games, medication, and more....Dr. Sax outlines new strategies for parents....a must-read for anyone who cares about seeing our young men achieve their full potential" (publisher description).

see also www.boysadrift.com

Yes, your teen is crazy!:  loving your kid without losing your mind by Michael J. Bradley(Harbor Press, 2003)

Winner of awards from both the National Parenting Center and Parents' Choice.  Martin Sheen:  "As a father, I'm awed by Dr. Bradley's ability to cut through the nonsense and go straight to the heart and soul of parent-teen relationships.  In powerful, frank, emotionally charged, yet astonishingly simple talk, he tells you what you need to know to save your children physically, emotionally, and spiritually...You can't afford not to read this book."

Yes, your parents are crazy!:  a teen survival guide by Michael J. Bradley (Harbor Press, 2004)

"This book really made me think and laugh!  I loved the true stories of teenagers dealing with all kinds of situations in life, and I think kids everywhere will relate to them.  The tips for handling parents are excellent."

hurt 2.0:  inside the world of today's teenagers by Chap Clark (Baker Academic, 2011)

Leading youth ministry expert Chap Clark's book hurt provided a vivid and insightful view into the world of today's teenagers. Now Clark substantially updates and revises his groundbreaking bestseller (over 55,000 copies sold). Hurt 2.0 features a new chapter on youth at society's margins and new material on social networking and gaming. Each chapter has been thoroughly revised with new research, statistics, quotations, and documentation.

Chap Clark is vice provost for  regional campuses and master's programs and professor of youth, family, and culture at Fuller Theological Seminary, where he also serves as director of the Student Leadership Project and Institute of Youth Ministry.

Quiet strength:  a memoir by Tony Dungy with Nathan Whitaker  (Tyndale House, 2007)

"Tony Dungy is a world champion in every way.  His quiet strength both on and off the field has been an inspiration to millions.  His sense of priority is uncommon and uncompromised.  His purposeful desire to turn the spotlight off of himself and onto Christ is admirable.  Even more impressive, however, is the character and dignity he exemplifies when there are no cameras...when there is no spotlight.  This is a man of tremendous faith, and he lives it every day of his life.  He has inspired me, and I'm so thankful for his friendship."--Michael W. Smith, Singer/Songwriter

In this memoir, Dungy talks about the "principles, practices and priorities that have kept him on track despite overwhelming obstacles, including firings, stereotypings, and the tragic loss of a child.  His thoughts on leading, succeeding , and attaining true significance will inspire you to take a long, hard look at the things that really matter in your own life." (from back cover).  

Highly recommended by Ken VanderZwaag, long-time head of the Phys. Ed. department here at Woodland, as a wonderful role model for any athlete and especially for fathers!

Just because it's not wrong doesn't make it right:  from toddlers to teens, teaching kids to think and act ethically by Barbara Coloroso (Penguin Canada, 2005)

"...shows parents how to nurture and guide children's ethical lives from toddlerhood through the teen years using everyday situations at home, at school, in social settings, and in the world at large."

Safe Teen - powerful alternatives to violence by Anita Roberts (Polestar, 2001)

"Here is an essential guide to preventing violence and building inner strength for teenagers, parents and educators. Today's adolescents -- including girls -- are resorting to violence as a method of resolving disputes. In response to this alarming trend, Anita Roberts developed "SafeTeen: A Life-Skills and Violence Prevention Program." This powerful program provides adolescents with the body-language and verbal skills they need to deal with peer pressure, de-escalate violence and build self-esteem. Safe Teen: Powerful Alternatives to Violence offers an in-depth look at the issues and skills taught in Roberts' SafeTeen workshops. It addresses issues relevant to the everyday lives of adolescents. Anita Roberts combines personal anecdotes, psychological theory, role-playing exercises and lively scenarios about teens into a potent, engaging, practical and inspiring work. Here is a timely, necessary and powerful book for all parents and educators -- and teenagers -- that offers lifelong alternatives to violence."

Straight Talk about Death to Teenagers  by Earl Grollman (Beacon Press, 1993)

"Today's young people, who face tremendous and complex pressures even without the trauma of death, need more guidance than anyone in times of tragedy. Award-winning author Grollman fills this need with this compassionate book written especially for teens. Journal section."

The Grieving Child - a parent's guide by Helen Fitzgerald (Simon and Schuster, 1992)

"Explaining death to a child is one of the most difficult tasks a parent or other relative can face. This book offers practical, compassionate advice for helping a child cope with the death of a parent or other loved one. Parents of children from preschool age to the teen years will find much-needed guidance, covering: helping a child visit the seriously ill or dying; using language appropriate to a child's age level; selecting useful books about death; handling especially difficult situations, including murder and suicide; deciding whether a child should attend a funeral. With a new chapter devoted to the special issues of the bereaved toddle, this book provides invaluable suggestions for dealing with a child's emotional responses (including anger, guilt, and depression) and helping a child adjust to a new life."

 Healing your grieving heart - for Teens by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. (Companion Press, 2001)

"With sensitivity and insight, this series offers suggestions for healing activities that can help survivors learn to express their grief and mourn naturally. Acknowledging that death is a painful, ongoing part of life, they explain how people need to slow down, turn inward, embrace their feelings of loss, and seek and accept support when a loved one dies. Each book, geared for mourning adults, teens, or children, provides ideas and action-oriented tips that teach the basic principles of grief and healing. These ideas and activities are aimed at reducing the confusion, anxiety, and huge personal void so that the living can begin their lives again. Included in the books for teens and kids are age-appropriate activities that teach younger people that their thoughts are not only normal but necessary."

 Forgive & Forget - Healing the hurts we don't deserve by Lewis B Smedes (Harper, 1984)

"Smedes shows readers how to move from hurting and hating to healing and reconciliation. With the lessons of forgiveness, readers can establish healthier relationships, reclaim happiness, and achieve lasting peace of mind."

When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Harold S. Kushner (Anchor, 1981)

"1978 book by Harold Kushner, a Conservative rabbi. Kushner addresses in the book one of the principal problems of theodicy, the conundrum of why, if the universe was created and is governed by a God who is of a good and loving nature, there is nonetheless so much suffering and pain in it - essentially, the evidential problem of evil.

The book is dedicated to the memory of his young son, Aaron, who died at the age of 14 in 1977 of the incurable genetic disease progeria.[1] Rabbi Kushner's book was a New York Times bestseller for many months in the "nonfiction" category."

Between Two Worlds - the inner lives of the children of divorce by Elizabeth Marquardt (Three Rivers, 2005)

"Offers an in-depth study of the impact of divorce on the emotional and spiritual lives of children, drawing on interviews with young adults from both intact and divorced families to demonstrate that even amicable divorces have lasting effects on children as they are confronted with different worlds, each with distinct moral values, traditions, and messages."

Last Child in the Woods - saving our children from nature-deficit disorder by Richard Louv (Algonquin, 2008)

"In this groundbreaking new work, child advocacy expert Richard Louv directly links the lack of nature in the lives of today's wired generation he calls it nature deficit to some of the most disturbing childhood trends, such as rises in obesity, Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), and depression. 

Some startling facts: By the 1990s the radius around the home where children were allowed to roam on their own had shrunk to a ninth of what it had been in 1970. Today, average eight-year-olds are better able to identify cartoon characters than native species, such as beetles and oak trees, in their own community. The rate at which doctors prescribe antidepressants to children has doubled in the last five years, and recent studies show that too much computer use spells trouble for the developing mind. 

Nature-deficit disorder is not a medical condition; it is a description of the human costs of alienation from nature. This alienation damages children and shapes adults, families, and communities. There are solutions, though, and they're right in our own backyards."

Birth Order Book by Dr. Kevin Leman (Revell, 2009)

"Dr. Kevin Leman's ever-popular book on birth order is getting a new look and updated writing. With insight and wit, Dr. Leman offers readers a fascinating and often funny look at how birth order affects personality, marriage and relationships, parenting style, career, and children. Birth order powerfully influences the way people interact with others, whether they're at home or on the job. This is a great book for anyone who wants to learn more about how they react to their world. Dr. Leman even shows readers how to overcome ingrained tendencies they never thought they'd be rid of, all by focusing on their birth order."

Don't waste your life by John Piper (Crossway, 2003)

John Piper writes, "I will tell you what a tragedy is. I will show you how to waste your life. Consider this story from the February 1998 Reader's Digest: A couple 'took early retirement from their jobs in the Northeast five years ago when he was 59 and she was 51. Now they live in Punta Gorda, Florida, where they cruise on their 30-foot trawler, play softball and collect shells. . . .' Picture them before Christ at the great day of judgment: 'Look, Lord. See my shells.' That is a tragedy.

"God created us to live with a single passion to joyfully display his supreme excellence in all the spheres of life. The wasted life is the life without this passion. God calls us to pray and think and dream and plan and work not to be made much of, but to make much of him in every part of our lives."

What am I supposed to do with my life? by Douglas Brouwer (Eerdmans, 2006)

All of us long for a sense of meaning and purpose in our lives. But where does that meaning come from? How do we find our calling in life? In this short, helpful book Douglas Brouwer offers a personal, spiritual response to the vocational questions that people commonly ask. He links our true purpose to following Jesus greatest commandment---love God and love your neighbor---and points out that we find meaning and purpose by living not for ourselves but for something larger outside ourselves. Written for seekers of all ages, What Am I Supposed to Do with My Life? describes Brouwer's own struggle to come to grips with the concept of vocation, incorporates inspirational stories of people and vocation from throughout his ministry, and includes discussion questions at the end of each chapter. 

 So sexy so soon:  the new sexualized childhood and what parents can do to protect their kids by Diane E. Levin, PhD, and Jean Kilbourne, EdD. (Ballantine Books, 2008)

"Popular culture and technology inundate our boys and girls with an onslaught of graphic sexual messages at earlier ages than ever before.  Without the emotional sophistication to understand what they are doing and seeing, kids are getting into increasing trouble emotionally and socially...[the authors], internationally recognized experts in early childhood development and the impact of media on children and teens, offer parents essential, age-appropriate strategies to counter the assault...[and] the information, skills and confidence they need to discuss sensitive topics openly and effectively--so their kids can just be kids."--from publisher.