It’s important that students know that they will encounter uncomfortable ideas in college because that’s part of what college is for. We learn and grow when we interact with people different from us and when we encounter ideas that challenge our assumptions and what we think we know. And they need to know that you want to set up a space where we can question ideas and assumptions in respectful and thoughtful ways.
The best way to set the stage for difficult dialogue is by establishing community agreements from the first days of class. Some common agreements for laying a foundation for difficult dialogue are:
We will make “I” statements, as in “I think,” “I believe,” and importantly, “I heard you say” rather than, “Well, you said….” Because what we hear may not be what the speaker intended and it’s important for the speaker to know the impact of their words. Making “I statements” also means we will not ask people to speak on behalf of or to represent an entire group, such as all people from a particular racial, ethnic or religious group or experiential background (like people from rural communities).
Recognize intent, acknowledge impact. Because our intention may have been benign but the impact may have been hurtful, offensive, or erasing of another’s experience.
Practice active listening. Meaning, really listen to what is – and is not – being said rather than thinking about what you’ll say in response.
One mic, meaning only one person is speaking at a time and we will let them finish before someone else begins.
Criticize ideas, not people. It’s not about the person, it’s about what was said.
Make no assumptions. We do; it’s human nature. But try not to, because assumptions are often wrong.
Cultivate a brave space. We cannot promise students safety from unintended hurtful remarks, offensive images, painful history, but we can agree that we will be brave, even though it’s uncomfortable, together. That’s where learning happens.
It’s important at least to discuss community agreements with your students, rather than imposing them, and invite them to change, add or remove. And it’s even more important to be sure everyone truly agrees to them all. Community agreements are an agreement of how we, as a community of learners, agree to be together. They should be periodically revisited and updated as needed. With everyone’s agreements.
Some things to anticipate in discussions about difficult topics:
Critique fatigue: students grow weary or even intolerant of discussion about history and theory and want to learn about practical tools for change.
Experience parasitism and cultural stripmining: students (and faculty) from the dominant group expect a small subset of students to speak for their identity group; when that subset isn’t present, the topic is not engaged (the “host” is absent). Also the behavior absolves the dominant group of vulnerability; only the subset is placed in a vulnerable position.
Hostile solidarity: this can manifest when some students with the same ideas, for example about the origins or implications of the war in the Middle East, band together against a student or group of students with differing views. One group of students unites – a type of “belonging” – and even derives pleasure from deriding or excluding another student or group of students who dissent from what they see as their common sense of what has emerged in the class. One way to prevent its emergence is to build understanding and group solidarities that are anchored in collaboration and the understanding and appreciation of differences as opportunities for learning.
Idle talk: when words are used reflexively, become flattened and conventional and are spoken or written without attention to what they really mean. Question students’ meaning to break up “idle talk.”
These are terms drawn from the Difficult Dialogues project from the Center for Engaged Pedagogy at Barnard.
How to bring down the temperature
Remember: you can always suggest a break if you want time to gather your thoughts.
Some simple methods to employ when a student says something potentially offensive, awkward or, in your view, wrong:
Question with genuine curiosity:
“I’m curious why you think that?”
“I wonder if you can point to some sources for that assertion?”
Rephrase the statements:
“When I hear these words, I think the person means [paraphrase statement]. Is that what you meant?”
Inquire about the speaker’s intention:
“What were you thinking would be the effect of what you just said?”
“I’m curious, what were you trying to say, and why?”
An effective de-escalation method:
Summarize what transpired as neutrally as possible.
Ask students to write a reflection about what occurred during the discussion and what could have been different. This shifts the focus to the nature of the discussion rather than what was said and can lead to better ways forward.
Review community agreements and re-affirm that students agree
Another de-escalation method:
Ask students to re-frame each other’s statement using “I” language
Ask students to write one strength of each statement they heard, even if they’re contradictory.
Ask students to write a self reflection about how they were feeling intellectually, emotionally and physically during the exchange to redirect their energy. Thinking about their physical and emotional reactions is a metacognitive practice and can also reduce stress.
Next, ask students how the conversation can continue more productively, focusing on the nature of the interactions rather than the words that were said. For example, was everyone respectful of the community agreements and of each other’s time and not monopolizing the conversation or using words as weapons rather than as means for making a case for their point of view?
If you feel overwhelmed and unable to address the situation in the moment, acknowledge the moment and say you want time to think about how to address it and you’ll come back to it in the next class. Just be sure to do so.
Other Recommendations: Classroom Discussion of Controversial Topics
These methods for approaching topics that are likely to generate emotional responses may result in more productive dialogue:
Handling issues involving the instructor's identity
(adapted from the Center for Research on Learning and Teaching, University of Michigan)
This 24-minute podcast features faculty from the social sciences discussing ways in which they handle conversations, many of which are addressed above.
Additional Resources
The Teaching and Learning Lab in Harvard's Graduate School of Education compiled a significant list of resources: Teaching in Times of Strife and Trauma
Vanderbilt University Center for Teaching: Difficult Dialogues
Barnard College Center for Engaged Pedagogy: Dialogue and Disagreement
The University of Oregon created this Teaching in Turbulent Times Toolkit
Learning for Justice offers these resources for a civil classroom.
Facing History and Ourselves offers a number of teaching resources for US elections.
Indigenous practices inform this guide to difficult dialogues in higher education.
A community circle process may also prove useful in promoting measured conversation around raw emotions.
Responding to Incivility in the Classroom and De-Escalating Heated Exchanges
Incivility in the classroom creates a hostile and intimidating environment that interferes with students' ability to learn and can alter the classroom environment for the remainder of the semester. Spell out academic, behavioral and language expectations on the syllabus and address it from the first day rather than awaiting for a situation to arise. Setting a respectful and inclusive tone from the outset will make responding to incivility easier if it arises. Faculty themselves should use civil language, listen actively, maintain an inclusive attitude toward all voices, teach students how to disagree with each other, model respect and understanding, speak with rather than at students, and learn their names. Importantly, faculty should maintain professional comportment at all times, both in the classroom and in more casual settings. This is especially important for younger, female and minority faculty, who, research has shown, as far more likely to experience or observe incivility in their students.
Plan ahead and imagine how you might handle difficult classroom dynamics. And understand your own biases and strong feelings. This will enable you to be better able to manage your own reactions if a situation arises. If a situation does arise, respond rather than react. There are various strategies faculty can adopt:
Respond immediately by naming the language or behavior as problematic or unwelcome. This assures the rest of the class that the instructor acknowledges what is happening and is not allowing it simply to pass.
If you're not prepared to discuss the issue at that moment, acknowledge it and plan to return to it.
Where possible, create a learning moment for everyone by connecting disruptive comments to the course content.
Try to de-personalize insensitive or marginalizing statements. Critique the statement and not the speaker.
Follow up in the next class session.
Adopt a Stance on Political Discussion in the Classroom
Consider adopting the following statements:
Political discussion belongs in our classrooms.
Everyone is entitled to a safe learning environment, but students are not entitled to have classmates agree with them or like what they say.
Creating a transformative college experience should feel uncomfortable. No one should be comfortable until we all live with dignity, equity, inclusion and freedom.
Spontaneous Discussions
It's important to be prepared for controversial issues to arise. But follow these basic steps:
Acknowledge the student who raised the issues, noting that students may vary in their thoughts and feelings.
Decide whether you want to engage the topic right then or defer.
Quickly assess whether the class would like to spend time on the topic the student raised. If the students want to engage immediately but you would prefer to wait, explicitly schedule a discussion for a later class.
Learning for Justice
The Southern Poverty Law Center's Learning for Justice Project offers numerous resources, including the booklet below, Responding to Hate at School: A Guide for Administrators, Counselors and Teachers. Teaching Tolerance also offers a series of on-demand webinars to support practices that help 'reduce prejudice, improve inter-group relationships, and promote equitable experiences for all students.' While geared more toward K-12 teaching, the practices and principles are relevant to all levels. The project also offers classroom strategies, supplemental materials and guidance on discussing particular topics and creating an inclusive and supportive learning environment.
Mindfulness and Contemplation
Employing mindfulness as a framework for your classes helps students develop skills for listening with full attention to others while also noticing what reactions, emotions, associations and judgments arise in themselves as they listen. Teaching them to use breath and other emotional regulation tools helps them reduce feelings that overwhelm. Once they are more present and centered, they can then consider how best to respond in a way that increases the likeliness that they will be heard. There are many approaches, but all are fairly consistent in the intention of helping students be present, unthreatened, and aware of their thoughts and emotions without being overwhelmed by them. One approach is promoted by Tara Brach:
R - recognize what's going on
A - allow the experience to be there, just as it is
I - investigate with interest and care
N - nourish with self compassion
You can find more information about and examples of contemplative practices in education at contemplative mind.org.
Cultivate mindful listening
Here's a brief practice to help develop active listening skills that you can ask your students to perform. Pair your students. One will be the listener and the other the speaker. The speaker speaks (on any subject you choose) for one minute. The listener is only to listen, not to interrupt, not to think about a response, but just to carefully pay attention to what the speaker is saying. Then they switch roles. Students appreciate having a person actively listen to them for a full minute and realize how much they don't listen attentively. You can expand this practice to a more extended listening meditation practice.
Additional Resources:
Learn mediation skills.
Racial justice: In a Time of Broken Bones: A Call for Dialogue on Hate Crimes