WhatsApp Groups

The No.1 area of concern in pre-teens

WhatsApp is an amazing tool to keep people connected. We believe our students do well managing their online interactions. But when a negative incident occurs online with pre-teens the use of WhatsApp groups is often part of the dilemma.

Family Discussion

Dilemma

A small group of friends in grade 5 have their own phones. They make a WhatsApp group so they can stay in contact. In "the chat", they share stories and jokes much like they do in person. Slowly more people in the class get phones and want to join "the chat". They let a few people join but not everyone (soon enough it is 3/4 of the class). In the chat people start talking about school and people from the class. Slowly the tone of the message changes and the line between jokes, sarcasm and hurtful comments is blurred. Some members of the chat are not sure what to do. They want to stay part of the group, but they are not comfortable with the type of conversation going on and that some of their other friends aren't allowed to join.

What are your reactions about this situation?
Does this issue concern you? Why or why not?
Has your family faced this situation? If so, how have you managed it?

Practical Advice

Many people's gut reaction to hearing about issues arising from group chats is to stop their child from using these services. This often raises its own issues - children feeling as if they are missing out on something, disagreements between parents and children, etc. Another way to address this is to establish clear expectations when a child gets their phone (more information on this below) and then have regular family discussions about the use of the phone (see Digital Diet dilemma)

When should I let my child have a phone?

This is a hard question to give a general answer on as it often relates to the personal circumstances and/or other family values. Many children use the line "all my friends have one, so why don't I?" but rest assured there are a number of students who don't have their own phone or regular access to a person device.

Here are some questions which can help guide your decision:

Do your kids show a sense of responsibility, such as letting you know when they leave the house? Do they show up when they say they will?
Do your kids tend to lose things, such as backpacks or homework folders? If so, expect they might lose an (expensive!) phone, too.
Do your kids need to be in touch for safety reasons?
Would having easy access to friends benefit them for social reasons?
Do you think they'll use cell phones responsibly -- for example, not texting during class or disturbing others with their phone conversations?
Can they adhere to limits you set for minutes talked and apps downloaded?
Will they use text, photo, and video functions responsibly and not to embarrass or harass others?