Elementary-Aged Children

Elementary aged children are beginning to develop attachments outside the  nuclear family. They are beginning to separate from their parents and learn how the world works. This is the age when preventive care is fostered, when relational predictability, safety, and consistency are important, and when parents can begin to focus on co-regulation of emotions rather than being the primary source of regulation. Be sure to check out our pages on mental health resources and books for elementary-aged TCKs. 

THE RED ZONE

It's often when parental stress levels go up that their child's emotional needs also go up. At this age, parents need to be able to meet their child's needs, while teaching them how to regulate their own emotions. Elementary aged kids have more complex emotions. Your job is to teach your child the vocabulary for the emotions they are feeling, to help them to understand how they got there, and to help them regulate their emotions.

Signs of High Stress (The Red Zone) in Children

It's normal to see some of these behaviours shortly after a move, but if they persist for longer than three months, it's time to seek outside help.

1. Developmental reverting

   1. • Bed wetting

      • Sucking a finger or thumb

      • Needing a stuffy or blankie

      • Talking in a 'baby voice'

2. Behavioural challenges and emotional outbursts

   1. • Uncharacteristic, prolonged, or intense emotional reactions that are uncharacteristic for your child

3. Lack of learning

   1. • Don't immediately assume that your child has a learning disability - they may be going through transition

      • However, it is important to get early intervention especially for reading skills. If you don't see improvement after 3-6 months, you may want to consider a learning assessment

4. Social anxiety - think about the what the stress factors might be and try to alleviate them.

   1. • Selective mutism

      • Extreme shyness

Source: Lauren Wells, 'Parenting Elementary TCKs' webinar, TCK Training