Potassium_E's really stupid ramblings oh my god kill me please

Parent Pag: Superfellas

Potassium_E's really jarbled up explanation of the history of Spider-Man

Overview

OK so first off there was this guy named Stan Lee. Now I'm pretty sure in recent memory he's done some like not so good things but it's ok I think he's still Stan Lee he's dead so yk but still anyway Stan Lee. Stanley Lee had a friend named Steve Ditko or something and together they made the 89th coming of christ in the form of a red and blue spandex idiot who can climb walls. The actual comic book starts with some nerd named Peter Benjamin Griffin Parker and he's like lame and stuff. He wears twink glasses and sweater vests and so The Flash beats him the F up everyday. One day Petor decided to Alright let's do this one last time, and so he got bit by a radioactive spider. Sometimes it was at a field trip, sometimes it's breaking and entering, sometimes he just finds it I guess, sometimes he even gets it mailed to him by a rich billionaire who builds expensive metal nanotech fursuits minus the fur but he always gets bit by a little leg nerd thing. Then what happens is he gets the ability to jump high and crawl walls and punch guys and gets like this precognition ability that's entirely inconsistent but it's really cool so it works, and sometimes the guy even gets to shoot sticky white stuff from his wrists naturally. Sometimes the sticky white stuff comes from the (finger)tip(s), too. Then he learns that "With Great Power there must also come great responsibility" and that would go on to define the entire franchise. Funnily enough, most people think that that line came from Uncle Ben, who died btw, but this isn't even true. Initially, in the original Amazing Fantasy issue, Poter learns this lesson from a random text box. Wow! But then Brian Michael Bendis was cool and attributed the quote to Ben, and then things were cool because Brian Michael Bendis is the best. The character of Pide-r-Man was wildly successful for a while, but then eventually things declined. So they made the Ultimate universe !! The Ultimate Universe was amazing and so good and very well written and guess what, Brian Michael Benids wrote it so obviously it's the best thing ever. The Ultimate Universe took place parallel to the main 616 timeline, until there was this one thing called a nexus event where timeline stuff happened, and then Miles Morales (a character who was created by Bendis entirely as an Ultimate character) came over to 616 and now does bull bad word with swords. 

Spider-Man: One More Day

"Spider-Man is a very important character in pop culture. He’s a character that I hold near and dear to my heart, that provides an interesting framework to explore complex, universal themes. The Web-Slinging, Wall-Crawling, Friendly Neighborhood science accident is someone everyone can relate to. Peter Parker has a variety of superpowers. He can swing from webs, can dodge bullets, stick to walls, and can stop moving trains with his raw strength. In my opinion however, Peter Parker’s most powerful ability is his indomitable will. Spider-Man gets beat up a lot. Despite this, as he says in Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, he “always gets back up”. To me, it’s his strength of character, his ability to keep moving forward, and take responsibility, that makes him so popular.

So naturally, in the wake of one of the biggest comic events in Marvel history, Joe Quesada decided to release one of the most irresponsible comic books ever: Spider-Man: One More Day. Marvel Editorial is infamous within the Comic Book industry for deciding to ruin Peter Parker’s life. One More Day is no stranger to this fact. Around the time of this comic’s release, Marvel Editorial felt that Spider-Man as a character had been too well developed, that he had moved too far forward. The head of editing, Joe Quesada saw Peter as too mature for his original audience, having been around this time married, and on track to have kids. This format could provide an interesting lens for the character. Starting a family, having kids, that’s the ultimate responsibility. But no, when has Spider-Man ever been responsible?

For context, within the main 616 continuity, Marvel was still feeling the effects of the Civil War arc. Civil War left Spider-Man in hot water with the Avengers and more importantly, unmasked. Over the years Spidey’s made a lot of enemies; enemies that would do anything to ruin his life. This all culminated in Aunt May being shot. May was always there for Peter, she raised the guy well into adulthood, and was a shoulder to cry on when things got tough. One of the best aspects of Aunt May’s writing was that despite that frail and old exterior, she had a sort of inner strength that guided her every action, that Peter could use when he was feeling lost. All of the sudden, that was gone. All of May’s strength was sapped, and she sat there in a hospital bed, trying not to choke on her spit. It’s ironic that in a comic that assassinates all of its characters, it actually starts with an assassination.

Peter is naturally stressed about the whole thing. He tried to get May the best care he could, but in classic Spidey fashion, he’s broke. The best they could do for May was the charity ward, and it's looking like she’ll be dying there. Desperate, Peter Swung over to Tony Stark’s house to look for some financing. For some reason Stark, and every other person Peter asks can’t help him, and May’s fate is practically sealed. Even Dr. Strange, a literal wizard, can’t help a single bullet wound.

Now that that’s all over with though, time to throw 45 years of comic history out the window! Spider-Man makes a deal with the devil. Spider-Man, Mr. “With Great Power comes Great Responsibility” himself, throws away responsibility in favor of great power. In front of Peter, Marvel’s Satan equivalent, Mephisto appears. Mephisto then does an exposition dump and presents our web-headed protagonist with a trade offer. Spider-Man’s been growing as a character for so long, always moving forward, learning lessons, building a family with Mary Jane. Mephisto offers to save Aunt May, in exchange for all of that. The work of countless writers over 4 decades, just to save Aunt May. Eventually, Peter irresponsibly takes the deal, and MJ, acting even more out of character, supports him in that. 

To summarize, Marvel Editorial decided to retcon out 45 years of comics just for kicks. After this, The Amazing Spider-Man as a comic line really dropped off for a while. Some good decisions were made, but the character suffered overall. I find it absurd how easily a character so strong could be assassinated by one decision. The ironic part is that despite the severity of this comic, it didn’t boost ratings like they’d hoped. Who’d have thought that taking a massive dump on your flagship character wouldn’t make you more money? But hey, at least we got Paul." 

That was a thing I wrote for an assignment one time and I'm lazy so I copied it and haha get screwewewewed

Spider-Verse

Ok so you know how he's the one and only spider-man? WELL HE'S FUCKING NOT. THERE'S LIKE A LOT OF THEM. LIKE A LOT A LOT OF THEM. One of them is black, one is a trans girl, one is an anarchist, one is indian, one is edgy, one is the Ultimate universe (he's really cool) one is a videogame character, but despite all this, the craziest part is that one is BRITISH. He's gross and his name is like Billy Bimpletonsquimpleton. So Spider-Verse initially started out as a comic event series that I haven't finished and so I don't wanna talk about that. I really really really like the movies, and when the third one comes out I will finally kill my elf. They're all about the black one, the one who does sword things in 616 for some reason. Really the sword thing makes no sense, he has electricity powers, why can he make swords that's so dumb. Anyway in Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (the first one) Miles Morales learns that with great power there must also come great responsibility, but the only way to use that power is to be yourself. Miles' Character holds a tremendous theme as well put in the Slogan for the videogame Marvel's Spider-Man: Miles Morales: "Be Greater, Be Yourself." That's really cool I think, and to be honest the theme is really well explored. In the movies you can see Miles' personality oozing out of every corner. The way he web swings, the way he talks, the way he moves, his art, they're all very Miles Morales. That's good writing IMO. Then there's the sequel, which I can't faithfully tackle. The movie tells an unfinished story as of now, so obviously I couldn't conclude it, but apart from that, I find the energy and themes of the film so immensely powerful, that I couldn't do it justice. So do with that what you will, and please watch Across The Spider-Verse if you haven't.

The Hyphen

Spider-Man is pronounced, and written with a hyphen. It's very important, please use it. They even made a subreddit: r/Respectthehyphen for this noble cause. Please, PLEASE, spell it correctly.

The Insomniac Games

Spider-Man has had a lot of games but arguably the best ones are Marvel's Spider-Man, Marvel's Spider-Man: Miles Morales, and Marvel's Spider-Man 2. These were all produced and published by Insomniac games, and were met with overwhelming acclaim. The gameplay is smooth, and the stories are (generally) smoother. The first game in the series is about Peter Parker, as you might expect considering he's Spider-Man. It weaves (get it?) a story of grief, power, and never giving up, in a very powerful way. One of the best summaries of the Game's themes is in the initial trailer released, which I do advise you watch, the link is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4GdJVvdxss. The second game, Marvel's Spider-Man: Miles Morales, is about living up to responsibility, rather than the first's theme of mishandling said responsibility. It's also about being yourself, with the previously mentioned theme illustrated in the tagline "Be Greater. Be Yourself." In the sequel, web swinging, and gameplay as a whole is leveled up and it feels amazing. I just wanted to mention that. I didn't play Marvel's Spider-Man 2, because it's a PS5 exclusive, and so I can't speak to the quality, but I'm sure it's great.

The Actual Lore

The Soap Opera

No More Spider-Man

The Clone Saga

Ultimate Spider-Man (2024)