Grieving a Disability

Support Through a Website

Mission of the project

This website aims to provide Willamette University students with resources related to coping with disability-related grief. College can be a difficult time in someone’s life regardless of outside factors; a lot is changing and health challenges can be intimidating when you’re away from home. Disability-related grief is real but it is not often acknowledged or outwardly supported. Of the resources available, many are difficult to initially locate and understand. Because of this, this website focuses on having resources in the same place with available definitions to allow for students to have an overall understanding of disability-related grief and how to begin to cope.

Grief is Complex

Grief regarding non-death losses are often disregarded, which makes it all the more important to give support to those grieving, including yourself.

Grief, rather than one emotion, is an expanded experience that encompasses a variety of emotions. Grief often “involves experiencing…the loss of a network of more or less integrated possibilities that are integral to the structure of one’s life”(Ratcliffe & Richardson, 2023). This broad definition allows for all grief types to be included, whether they are death or non-death losses, which can help create human experience that allows for everyone to feel their emotions and process their grief is key in building a supportive community for those suffering through loss.

In their own words...

These terms and definitions can be hard to understand when they are just words on a webpage. Fellow students at Willamette have provided some words about their experiences to help connect themes and terminology.

Anecdote from Jane:

"Life has always been like this, it's difficult to think of grieving because of it. My mother was always aware of my disability/disorder, and used to tell me that I was the bravest out of my siblings. When I was in my teens, maybe about 15 years old, I realized there was something going on. It was then that I began to think to myself that I don't want to be the "brave kid," I just want to be normal"

Quotes from Mary:

"I grieve a lot of the things that could have happened in my life, or the opportunities that I missed because of my disability. It was always just the little things that made up and early end to my childhood. Other kids got to be careless, but I couldn't be. I had to be aware of things a young child normally wouldn't be concerned about"

"I would have loved to study abroad, it would have made getting my degree easier. But the act of going to another country for prolonged periods of time bring up issues like with medications. Medications and medical devices would take up too much room in my suitcase and I would have no idea what to do in an emergency situation as I'm not fluent in the medical terminology in that language. Watching peers go study abroad is almost quietly devastating, I just have to accept that it's not happening and I have to just let it slip through my fingers."

Additional Information About Grief Definitions

Ambiguous loss is a phrase that is commonly used in circumstances where death has not occurred but there is some type of loss. The reason the word ambiguous is used is because these cases of grief do not commonly have an end-point (Knight & Gitterman, 2019; Mac Conaill et al., 2025). Due to the lack of a distinct “end” like there would be with a death loss, ambiguous losses can be more difficult to process and can require additional support to understand.

Ambiguous grief is more likely to be disenfranchised and undermined by the general public. Non-death losses are more often disregarded and lack the social acknowledgement that death losses receive. This gap in support can compromise grieving individuals' ability to cope and continue on with their lives (Knight & Gitterman, 2019). When a type of loss is not socially recognized it is referred to as disenfranchised loss. In addition to this, grief has also been shown to be more unrecognized in disabled and neurodivergent individuals which can complicate the grieving journey further (Mac Conaill et al., 2025; Mair et al., 2024).

How Do Disabilities Connect To Grief?

Every person's experience with their disability is unique, and so is the relationship between their disability and feelings of grief. To the left is an infographic describing the factors that can contribute to increase symptoms of grief in individuals with disabilities.

Community Matters

Grief and disability support groups can positively impact emotional outcomes in a multitude of ways (Brodbeck et al. 2022; Joo et al, 2022; Mac Conaill et al, 2025; Mead et al, 2018). When losses are particularly stigmatized, such as losses related to disabilities, community is considered to be extremely valuable on multiple levels (Robinson & Pond, 2019). Connection allows for sharing of experiences, increased acceptance of disabilities, and general empowerment.

Support groups are a common way for connections to be made. Due to their accessibility, online support groups have been found to be especially helpful to disabled individuals.

You Are Not Alone at Willamette

Willamette University's Motto "Non nobis solum nati sumus" means "Not unto ourselves alone are we born." This directly connects to how important finding community is when dealing with grief. Processing difficult emotions in relation to grief can be hard to do alone. At Willamette University you are not alone, there are resources built to help support you.

Emotional and Social Support

Disability Advocacy Club is a club here on campus that focuses on community between disabled (and non-disabled) students and advocating for better experiences in college and life in general. Disability Advocacy Club also has an online group server on Discord, where students can find community and share the joys and struggles of being disabled. https://discord.gg/x43ttt65B6

For up-to-date information regarding leadership of Disability Advocacy Club and advisor information, you can visit Willamette's Student Clubs and Organizations webpage (https://willamette.edu/life-on-campus/clubs-orgs/org-list).

The Salem Willamette campus provides mental and physical health services to students. This includes a counseling service available to students. More information can be found at their website: https://my.willamette.edu/site/counseling

In addition, if you need immediate support there is a 24/7 Telephone Crisis Line called WUTalk. They can be reached at 503-375-5353.

Academic Support

The Accessible Education Services, located on the Salem campus in Smullin 155, provides services for all students that require accommodations. Staff at AES are trained to help students get accommodations in order to have the best academic experience possible. More information can found on their website: https://willamette.edu/academics/support/accessible-education

College Access Navigators is a program implemented here at Willamette University that supports students with ASD, ADD, and ADHD in various areas related to the college experience. They not only help provide educational opportunities, but also help increase self-acknowledgement in areas of executive functioning, self-regulation, self-advocacy, career preparation, and social interactions.

More information on the program and how to join can be found on their website: https://my.willamette.edu/site/accessibility/can

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