Tips/Suggestions:

School and the Introvert

Instruction for the introvert should differ from that provided for the extrovert. Methods should utilize that internal reflective focus and honor the need for structure, quiet, and small groups. Such strategies include: independent studies, small group instruction, collaborative learning activities, tiered instruction, debate, dramatics or role-playing, journaling, quiet time, and book clubs, to name a few. Many of these students like lectures and expository and deductive modes of instruction. Most introverts need wait time, warning about what they are expected to do, activities with minimal noise and stimulation, down time built into the schedule, and moderate amounts of small group work.

These approaches, however, have to be combined with ones appropriate for the extrovert who needs high stimulation, movement and activity throughout the classroom, lots of contact with others, and open spaces for working. Most extroverted students like open discussions and discovery activities. When different students need different methods and environments for optimal performance, the teacher must differentiate more than just the content of the lesson.

The following are some suggestions to parents and siblings for supporting and protecting introverts:

• Provide private space: A private bedroom is nice, but if not possible, at least a private area in the house that can serve that purpose. Rooming with an extroverted bother or sister is commonly not a pleasant experience for an introvert.
• Guarantee quiet time: A child who needs to recharge his batteries cannot do it in a loud crazy house. Negotiate a way to provide that needed quiet time for this individual.
• Model “alone” not “lonely” talk: This can be difficult unless you are an introvert. If the child continually hears that being away from people makes one lonely, it sends a very strong message to them about what they should feel. Most introverts are not lonely when alone and that message needs to be verbally shared and modeled.
• Protect their right to say “enough”: This statement of ‘enough’ refers to people, activities, and noise. If they are not ‘party animals,’ they should be able to put in a certain amount of time at a family gathering and then be able to beg off. We don’t want them to associate such get-togethers with distress and unhappiness.
• Provide small group activities: Make certain that some of the activities they are involved in are small groups or individually oriented. This goes for after-school activities and sports as well. This does not mean that all things must be small group but definitely all things should not be large group.
• Provide coping strategies for those times when they have to act extroverted: If some member of the family is also introverted, sharing secrets or tips to tide them through those large group, in front of others, high noise times is very useful. If the family is extroverted, help may need to come from outside the family.
• Talk about your own personality needs: If you are an introvert, talk about how you deal with it. If you are an extrovert, talk about your needs as your introverted child may not understand the difference.
• Discuss books that feature introverts: Bibliotherapy is an appropriate strategy for home as well as school. Discuss the actions of the characters and their consequences, discuss alternative actions, discuss feelings of the characters and those around them, and talk about how you see such events or situations in the real world. It is always so much easier to talk about a character in a book than about oneself, especially for introverts who are even less likely to share such private thoughts and feeling.

Introversion in excess can become a problem. It is similar to perfectionism in that a little is beneficial and too much is harmful.

Some things to look for:

• When the individual has no friends and spends all their time alone… but not by choice.
• When the individual is depressed about having no friends.
• When the individual refuses to work with others for any reason.
• When the individual demonstrates marked behavior changes (marked weight loss or gain, sleeps much more or less, physical distress, withdrawal, etc.)