Now that you have thought and discussed how you built your argument, take some time to revise your original work. You have 20 minutes to revise and resubmit your work. Think about the feedback you've been given and the model you've seen. Always remember:
- Thesis should include your POSITION and REASONS (remember, claim brothers :) )
- the Quote needs an introduction, state its context so readers understand where the quote came from and why its important.
- Commentary should step outside the text. You are making an argument about the relationship between power and freedom, the authors ideas support your ideas. So, when you analyze, explain why the author's ideas support your original ideas.
So, as you revise, ask yourself...
- Does my claim explain WHAT (position) I think and WHY (reasons) I think it?
- Can readers understand where my quote came from and why it matters?
- Did I cite my quote correctly? "quote" (para 1).
- Does my commentary explain why I think what my claim says I think?