After Chen Huanyi submitted his evidence and Professor Shen added him as an author on the project, the curtains were drawn on the plagiarism incident. Chen Huanyi’s summary became part of the shared materials for the collaboration, and Liu Bowei had to rewrite his report, but only because he “consulted inappropriate reference materials.”
Chen Huanyi felt like he had acquired all these new psychological wounds before his butt had even stopped aching. He needed Lin-laoshi to kiss away the hurt.
Come here and comfort me, quick was written all over Chen Huanyi’s face.
After a moment’s thought, Lin Kai said, “If you’re not happy with the way things turned out, you can blame me. I’m the one who took it upon myself to make this happen.”
Chen Huanyi shook his head. This was a five million yuan project, plus additional follow-on funding—undoubtedly one of the lines on an undergrad’s CV that would carry the most weight. Although Chen Huanyi wasn’t exactly delighted with this outcome emotionally speaking, he had certainly benefited from it to the greatest extent possible.
His gaze gentle, Lin Kai looked at Chen Huanyi. “Sometimes, we know that the way things appear doesn’t reflect the actual truth. But justice can’t always be upheld.”
Chen Huanyi feigned dejection. “I’ve gotten so much advice, but I’ll still never figure out how to be happy.”
“Well, I’ve given so much advice, but I’ll still never figure out how to be happy,” said Lin Kai.
Chen Huanyi gasped dramatically. “Lin-laoshi, how come you’ll never figure out how to be happy?!”
“How come you’ll never figure out how to be happy?” Lin Kai shot back.
“…It’s only a meme,” said Chen Huanyi.
“Mine was a meme too,” responded Lin Kai.
Chen Huanyi blinked.
I can’t let him find out I didn’t get it, Lin Kai thought.
Chen Huanyi suddenly gave Lin Kai an anticipatory look. “I just have one question.”
“Shoot,” said Lin Kai. You look like you’re up to no good, he thought.
“Can I keep on living here?” Chen Huanyi asked, eyes shining.
Lin Kai raised his brows. “Where else would you live otherwise?”
Chen Huanyi giggled.
After that, some strange items began to appear in Lin-laoshi’s spacious, simple, sparsely and frigidly furnished abode.
The first day, when Lin-laoshi was about to go take a shower, he opened a drawer on the master bedroom dresser to find a few new additions. Next to his gray boxer briefs, there were two pairs of teal underwear with a sailboat pattern, two pairs of mint-green underwear with a soccer ball pattern, one pair of navy underwear with a star pattern, and two pairs of plain white briefs.
Lin Kai walked out to the living room and looked thoughtfully at Chen Huanyi, who was sitting on the sofa eating fruit. “You’re wearing navy underwear with stars on it today.”
Chen Huanyi turned to stare blankly at Lin Kai for several seconds. He pulled the waistband of his trousers away from his body to peek inside. “Lin-laoshi, do you have X-ray vision?!” he exclaimed in alarm.
His OCD assuaged, the corners of Lin Kai’s mouth quirked up. Satisfied, he went to the bathroom to wash up.
The second day, when Lin Kai walked into the study, he noticed a new mousepad on the desk. His old mousepad was light gray, very much keeping with the minimal theme of the room. This new mousepad, however, had a printed whip pattern, and the raised wrist rest was a whip handle. He turned around to look at the desk that Chen Huanyi now occupied. Sure enough, the wrist rest on Chen Huanyi’s mousepad was shaped like a butt and covered in whip marks.
Just at that moment, Chen Huanyi walked into the study. Feeling Lin Kai’s eyes on him, he piped up in excitement, “Lin-laoshi, I’ve been waiting for the chance to finally use these two little cuties! I had to keep them at the very bottom of the cabinet, it broke my heart to watch them collect dust—”
Lin Kai looked at him without speaking. Such crass little cuties, he thought.
“These are a matching couple’s set, right?” Chen Huanyi continued. “Our first matching set! Lin-laoshi, do you like it?”
“…It’s pretty cute,” said Lin Kai.
By the third day, Lin Kai had gotten used to it.
On Saturday, at seven in the evening, Lin-laoshi stood in front of the movie theater with his wallet out, ready to buy tickets, only to find himself looking on helplessly as Chen Huanyi took out his phone and got their tickets from the automated machine.
At five past seven, Lin-laoshi stood in front of the concession stand with his wallet out, about to ask Chen Huanyi what he wanted to eat, only to find himself looking on helplessly as Chen Huanyi took out his phone, pulled up a group discount coupon, and got a couple’s meal set.
Chen Huanyi felt like he was two hundred and eighty centimeters tall today. The definition of boyfriend material.
With a tub of popcorn in his left hand and two sausages in his right, Lin-laoshi couldn’t help but reconsider his life choices.
The day before:
“Lin-laoshi, let’s go see a movie this weekend!” Chen Huanyi chirped. “Or go to an amusement park!”
The image of Chen Huanyi happily riding around a carousel silently popped into Lin Kai’s head.
“Can we?” Chen Huanyi asked excitedly.
Lin Kai felt like he might as well be a senior citizen already.
“No?” Still waiting for a response, a hint of rue crept into Chen Huanyi’s voice. “Is it because you got tired of going when you were younger?”
When you were younger… when you were younger… younger…
Lin Kai’s tall figure leaned down over Chen Huanyi, engulfing him entirely in shadow. “L-lin-laoshi…” Alarm written on his face even as anticipation sparked in his voice, Chen Huanyi mumbled, “My butt’s still really sore…”
Lin Kai sighed. “Movie on Saturday, amusement park on Sunday.”
Chen Huanyi threw himself at Lin Kai, knocking him off of his feet. “Just as you say, Lin-laoshi!”
The movie Chen Huanyi had picked was a well-reviewed but niche art film. It wasn’t what he usually went for, but he felt that any billion-yuan box office hit or blockbuster comedy would be far too basic for the distinguished and aloof Lin-laoshi. As for a warm and fuzzy date night romance, or a suspenseful horror film perfect for burrowing into his boyfriend’s arms, these would be even more basic—unbearably so, in fact. Given Lin-laoshi’s universal appeal, Chen Huanyi imagined that surely other people must have already wooed him with such tactics in his youth. Seeing as Chen Huanyi couldn’t win in terms of originality, he at least had to win in terms of pretentiousness.
The film he chose was clearly very well-crafted from the start. It was a tale of two lovers who were ill-matched in social status and position. Each shot was very romantic and aesthetic. Chen Huanyi scoffed inwardly at how such a critically acclaimed production was still so basic; was the movie industry simply a lost cause? He glanced at Lin Kai. Next to him, Lin Kai was watching intently. The film’s flickering light illuminated his face—it was a lovely sight.
The story began to change as events unfolded one after another. The lovers’ differences apart from their backgrounds gradually surfaced. One of them wanted to spread their wings and fly away, whereas the other wanted to live peacefully and quietly. Over the course of a lifetime, just what was a spark of brilliance, and what was a sublime eternity?
In the end, the one who wanted to fly away gave in to the one who wanted to lead a quiet life.
After all, people live for a century at most. No matter how many people come to pay their respects, an epitaph can’t compare to the person beneath the gravestone, sharing a thousand years of slumber with you.
There was a beautiful shot of the characters with their hands happily interlocked, silhouetted beneath the setting sun to the soundtrack of piano and strings. Even Chen Huanyi felt a little bit moved by this clichéd storyline.
As the sun disappeared in the scene, so too did the screen slowly grow dark.
So beautiful and so calm.
Then a dull yellow light gradually appeared on the screen. The camera shook.
The image became very gritty, its unsaturated colors bleak and depressing. It hadn’t been deliberately filtered though—only in comparison with the first half, which had been shot with a flattering filter, did these unvarnished scenes seem especially unappealing.
Such was the unappealing nature of this reality.
Taking flight gave way to a quiet existence, and in the end, the romance faded away amid the mundane necessities of life.
A century later, there’s someone sleeping by your side. But does the coffin next to yours still hold the same sublime eternity you cherished long ago?
You don’t have to blame him though. Over the decades, you didn’t light up his life like a spark of brilliance, nor did you forever soothe his soul like a sublime eternity.
On the way back from the movie theater, Lin Kai was quiet.
After taking quite a few looks at him, Chen Huanyi asked at last, “Are you thinking that if you were still with him…”
Lin Kai blinked before he realized who Chen Huanyi was talking about. “No.”
“Then why do you look so sad?”
“Because that ending… was pretty tragic,” replied Lin Kai.
“Was it…” Chen Huanyi thought for a moment. “It was pretty realistic though.”
“It’s only tragic because it’s realistic,” said Lin Kai.
“But lots of couples end up like this,” Chen Huanyi pointed out. They might not have become mortal enemies, but neither were they still in love like they were in the beginning. Their relationships were like a tall, handsome young man who got married, had kids, and entered middle age. He didn’t become overweight, greasy, and unbearable to behold—rather, he gradually acquired a beer belly, his feet looked like he was wearing purple socks, and his nose hairs poked out of his nostrils. Just the same as any other middle-aged man.
“I guess it’s because… the most ordinary and universal tragedies are the most profound,” Lin Kai said thoughtfully.
“That… isn’t really tragic though, is it?” countered Chen Huanyi. “It’s just… unavoidable. Because it could happen to anyone, it’s the same for everyone. Even if it’s sad, it doesn’t seem that grim because it’s so universal. I think it might’ve turned out better if they shook things up a little more.”
“It just happened to turn out this way,” said Lin Kai. “Look—no one did anything wrong, and there were no villains. Everyone only did what they were supposed to do.” It wasn’t a deliberate tearjerker—it was only a perfectly ordinary story, but it made you look at things that you usually paid no attention to. Like a fairytale after the happy ending, or a great beauty or valiant fighter growing old. If you peeled away the outer layer of the plot, those sorts of stories could play out with each and every minor character.
“…Actually,” Chen Huanyi began, “maybe it’s because I grew up in a home that was a lot like the one in the movie. My mom and dad were just like that—they never got to the point of divorcing, but they weren’t very affectionate either. They would get into huge fights over practically nothing, but then they’d be fine again after a while… They never used the word ‘love’ with me, but before the university entrance exam, they spent all their time and energy outside of work on me. I got hit sometimes when I was little, and there were times when I hated them, but later on, I thought that was just the most ordinary and unremarkable kind of family love. They’re just ordinary people after all.”
As a thought occurred to him, Chen Huanyi suddenly felt apprehensive. “Lin-laoshi, what are your parents like?”
“Very affectionate,” Lin Kai said.
“Um…” Chen Huanyi hesitated. “Then, do they know that you…”
Lin Kai knew what Chen Huanyi meant. He gave a small nod. “Mm, I came out of the closet in undergrad. As for BDSM, I’ve never spoken to them about it, nor is there any need to.”
Chen Huanyi couldn’t help but ask, “When you told your parents, was it because… you took him home?”
“No. I was always very independent. Even though I was close with my parents, I didn’t talk to them much about my relationships, and they didn’t really ask either.” Lin Kai was silent for a moment. Chen Huanyi watched him quietly.
“Back then, me and him… both needed some space to calm down, so we took a break,” Lin Kai continued. “Then the fact that he was from the Zhen family suddenly exploded on the school message board… People were saying really nasty things, that he was the big boss’s secret love child. They also said that he was gay, and posted pictures that made their intentions obvious. There were photos of our apartment with nothing censored at all.”
The hairs prickled on Chen Huanyi’s arms. “…The internet is so scary. So that’s how your parents found out?”
“It was a huge scandal at the time,” said Lin Kai. “I had already received a guaranteed acceptance for postgraduate studies, but because the school thought it was a bad look, they rescinded my admission. I had to explain the situation to my parents.”
Chen Huanyi found it difficult to breathe. He didn’t dare imagine what it would be like if this had happened to him.
“It was very difficult for them to accept, but they forced themselves to accept it,” Lin Kai said. “I’ll be grateful for that as long as I live.”
“They’re really amazing,” sighed Chen Huanyi.
Lin Kai nodded. “They are. They gave me the best home and upbringing possible.”
“So that’s probably why you felt the movie was so tragic,” Chen Huanyi said pensively. “Because you weren’t born into this kind of family, even though you know it’s commonplace, you can’t accept this kind of reality.”
Lin Kai’s only response was silence.
“So—Lin-laoshi, I’m a little scared,” Chen Huanyi continued. “Someday, I’ll have to bring you to meet my parents, but I’m scared that they won’t be able to understand us. I’m also scared that you won’t like them.”
Lin Kai calmly looked at Chen Huanyi for a while, and then reached over to pat him on the head. “The core of a family is the relationship between a couple, not the relationship between parents and children. Bit by bit, we’ll leave behind the families we were born in and establish a new family. Nothing about your parents could change the way I see you. We’ll do everything in our power to fight for your parents’ understanding, but there’s no need to be afraid. Our birth families are very important, but not so important that they should hold us back from living the rest of our lives.”
Chen Huanyi nodded very intently. He buried his face into the crook of Lin Kai’s neck, not looking at him.
Lin Kai stroked his hair and said softly, “Are you scared that someday we might end up like the couple from the movie?”
Chen Huanyi suddenly burst into giggles. Then, putting on an expression of feigned pensiveness, he intoned solemnly, “Lin-laoshi, if you’re willing to meditate and fast with me, I don’t think we’ll ever fall victim to the mundane necessities of life.” [1]
Lin Kai stared at him. Huh? What do I say to sound hip and witty and funny?
“We’re not two ill-matched, star-crossed lovers—we share the same educational background and interests,” Chen Huanyi continued. “You’re in better shape than me, but we’re both very handsome. We’re the same kind of people, we’re perfectly suited—no one could be more perfectly suited than us!” After all the words tumbled out at once, Chen Huanyi looked at Lin Kai again. Lin Kai’s eyes were filled with laughter.
“Enough about this.” Chen Huanyi flashed a brilliant smile at Lin Kai. “Lin-laoshi, let’s go have some mango shaved ice—my treat!”
Late that night, with the heat in the bedroom turned up all the way, pieces of mango and bits of shaved ice ended up all over Chen Huanyi. Ice and fire melded together across his body, like heaven and hell bewitchingly intertwined.
Afterward, Lin-laoshi said that the mango shaved ice from that place was particularly delicious, and expressed his desire to go again. However, Chen Huanyi rejected the idea several times, after which Lin-laoshi dropped the subject. Until one day, when Lin-laoshi came home with groceries and opened the freezer—
“Why is the freezer completely full?”
“I ordered a bit of ice cream online,” Chen Huanyi replied innocently.
Lin Kai couldn’t come up with a response for a while. “…A bit?” he finally managed.
“It was buy fifty get five free,” Chen Huanyi proclaimed with full confidence.
Lin Kai was truly speechless.
On Sunday, because Chen Huanyi couldn’t get out of bed (far from a surprise), the amusement park plans were canceled.
[1] 柴米油盐 This idiom literally means “firewood, rice, oil, and salt”—Chen Huanyi is joking that they can avoid all of them by simply not eating.