Chapter 11

The atmosphere in the study was so wonderful that Chen Huanyi was reluctant to leave and go to sleep. He only wanted to quietly stay with Lin Kai.

“Lin-laoshi, have you ever struggled with yourself before?” Chen Huanyi piped up out of the blue.

“Hm?” Lin Kai hummed quizzically.

“I mean, have you ever felt anxious about your sexual orientation or preferences before?” Chen Huanyi clarified. “Have you ever struggled over whether you should try to be a normal person?”

“Never,” replied Lin Kai.

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t think there’s anything wrong with me,” said Lin Kai.

“But… in the end, you can’t say that you’re right, can you?” Chen Huanyi asked. “You can’t say with full conviction, ‘I’m gay and into BDSM, and I’m proud of it.’”

“It’s true that there’s nothing to be proud of. Are there straight people who are proud of liking the opposite gender?”

Chen Huanyi blinked in surprise. “Now that you mention it—I suppose not.”

Lin Kai’s gaze on him was soft. “Right and wrong are never so well-defined. The majority choice isn’t right by default, just as we’re not wrong just because we’re in the minority. There’s a quote from Wittgenstein that I like—‘The sense of the world must lie outside of the world.’ In the same way, judgment of right and wrong must lie outside of their substance. Remember—we aren’t hurting others, nor are we forcing our views on anyone unwilling. We’re only choosing to live how we want to. But there are some people who really do try to compel others to live just as they do, and that’s surely wrong.”

“I never thought about it like that,” Chen Huanyi mumbled.

“Your heart can’t swear allegiance to the rules of the majority,” Lin Kai continued. “Otherwise, you’ll spend your whole life within the game that other people have devised, pursuing their goals and dreaming their dreams. But at the same time, the reality of our society can’t be denied. Your physical self is your identity in this society and still needs to abide by its rules. You need to become someone accepted by these rules, an outstanding person according to mainstream values.”

Chen Huanyi sighed. “It sounds so difficult, like living on the margins. Is it that we need to be outstanding so people will see us and say, ‘They’re just different, but they can be great too’?”

Lin Kai shook his head. “You misunderstood me. I’m telling you that you abide by certain rules for the sake of your well-being, but you can’t automatically assume that these rules are right. You should realize that you need to rely on the acceptance of others to survive, but not to live. Ultimately, people must lead a life that they themselves can accept and enjoy.”

“I understand.” Chen Huanyi nodded.

Lin Kai continued in a gentle voice, “I’m not telling you this because I want to lecture you. Once, I was your age too. We all encounter things that make us worry—it’s only natural to sometimes feel depressed, anxious, or scared, especially when you’re young. Don’t fret. This is only the natural state of youth.”

As he looked at Lin Kai’s tender expression, Chen Huanyi felt incomparably lucky to have met him.

“Have you also experienced those kinds of times?” Chen Huanyi asked.

“Of course,” Lin Kai smiled. “It’s not like I’ve been this old since I was born.”

“What happened?” Chen Huanyi’s curiosity was piqued.

Lin Kai only looked at him, still smiling, and declined to answer.

“Then—did you figure everything out on your own?” Chen Huanyi persisted.

“Someone enlightened me,” replied Lin Kai.

“Ooh.” Chen Huanyi nodded thoughtfully. “That person must be a real philosopher to be able to enlighten you.”

Lin Kai burst into laughter. “Mmhm, most likely.”

It was the first time Chen Huanyi had seen Lin Kai laugh so boisterously. Finding his joy contagious, Chen Huanyi started giggling as well.

Lin Kai looked at Chen Huanyi, and then reached over to affectionately ruffle his hair.

Chen Huanyi tightly wrapped his arms around Lin Kai. It felt like there was a piece of candy in his chest that Lin Kai’s warmth had melted bit by bit. The syrup soaked into his heart and rushed up without cease as his blood surged, washing over his entire body.

“I just feel so lucky,” Chen Huanyi murmured. “Out of so many people, somehow I was the one to be chosen.”

“Oftentimes, what we think is luck is actually inevitable,” said Lin Kai.

Chen Huanyi was puzzled. “How is it inevitable?”

Lin Kai smiled. “Everything is inevitable.”

Chen Huanyi couldn’t resist reaching up to impishly poke Lin Kai on his Adam’s apple. “Lin-laoshi, these kinds of universal philosophical platitudes won’t be able to persuade me.”

Lin Kai caught his hand, watching him with a smile.

“Lin-laoshi, you’re making an exception for me, aren’t you?” Chen Huanyi asked suddenly.

Without saying a word, Lin Kai pressed a light kiss to Chen Huanyi’s forehead.

Yes, I’ve never been amenable to persuasion—unless it’s you. Actually, you’re the only person who would do such a thing.

Chen Huanyi wasn’t granted permission to go to sleep with Lin-laoshi that night.

Under Lin-laoshi’s meaningful gaze, he morosely returned to the guest room. Chen Huanyi, you’ve still got a long way to go before you pass this level, kiddo!

When Chen Huanyi woke up the next day, it was quiet outside the room—he figured Lin Kai must not have gotten up yet. He thought at first he would sneak out and catch a glimpse of Lin-laoshi’s sleeping face. However, as soon as he rolled out of bed, he was greeted by the sight of a familiar object—that case by the wall in the hotel room that day was currently right next to his nightstand.

Chen Huanyi turned red. He felt ashamed, annoyed, and somewhat disturbed—ahhh! Just what exactly did Lin-laoshi use this room for?!

He couldn’t stop himself from quietly opening the case. To his surprise, inside was the same pile of implements as before. He touched the soft whip from that night with a twinge of excitement and then took it out. But before he could do anything, he heard a deep voice from the doorway. “What are you doing?”

Chen Huanyi jerked around, the whip still in his left hand. He could only wave it stiffly, as if in greeting. “…G-good morning.”

He was still wearing his oversized pajama shirt, the bottom half of his body completely bare.

Lin Kai’s glasses seemed to flash briefly as words escaped him for a moment.

“Breakfast is on the table,” Lin Kai said eventually. “Remember to eat. I’m headed to campus.”

Chen Huanyi ran over to Lin Kai and tugged on the corner of his shirt. Chen Huanyi, do you really need to be so girlish? he wondered. But whatever—he didn’t care anymore. “Lin-laoshi,” he whimpered piteously. “I have a question…”

Lin Kai looked at him.

“What kind of room am I staying in…?” Chen Huanyi asked. “You have new sets of clothes and toiletries here, and you even… even…” Blushing, he glanced at the case again. “You even keep that in here. Have you—have you brought new people home recently?”

Lin Kai hesitated, as though he found it difficult to speak.

When Chen Huanyi saw the look on Lin Kai’s face, he grew more convinced that he had guessed correctly. “…Lin-laoshi, could you not bring people home in the future? Right now you have a slave and shouldn’t be disturbed—no no, you have a boy…” Chen Huanyi peeked cautiously at Lin Kai’s expression and resolved to assert himself. “You have a boyfriend!”

That’s right! Don’t be intimidated by Lin-laoshi’s air of authority! Status is important!

“Mm. There’s no one else,” said Lin Kai.

Having his status confirmed was already a huge victory. While he had the upper hand, Chen Huanyi followed up with another question. “Then what do you use this room for?”

Lin Kai thought for a moment before he replied pragmatically, “Random odds and ends.”

Chen Huanyi’s eyes flew wide open.

Lin Kai looked down at Chen Huanyi’s hand clutching his hem. “I’ve got things to do. I need to go to campus.”

Are you running away from me right now Lin-laoshi?!

Chen Huanyi didn’t let go of Lin Kai’s shirt. “So Lin-laoshi’s having me sleep in his room for random stuff… Do these odds and ends include me? I need to go online and look up the definition of odds and ends…”

Lin Kai was at a loss.

After five more minutes at this impasse, Lin Kai finally relented. “…There’s only one pillow in the master bedroom. Bring your pillow over there when you go.”

“Okay, Lin-laoshi! Just as you say, Lin-laoshi!”

Lin Kai turned and took a few steps away before looking back at Chen Huanyi again. Chen Huanyi hadn’t moved—he was still standing there in his wide pajama top, triumphant excitement lingering on his features.

Amusement glimmered in Lin Kai’s eyes. “Come here.”

Chen Huanyi blinked and then dopily hurried over, tilting his head back to look at Lin Kai.

Lin Kai blithely reached under Chen Huanyi’s shirt and pinched him on the ass, hard. “You’ve been pretty bold lately,” he said in a low voice.

The pleasure that jolted through Chen Huanyi was such that it took all his strength to keep from drooling. After going such a long time without being touched, he instantly grew hard.

Chen Huanyi swallowed and looked at Lin Kai expectantly.

Lin Kai pulled his hand back. “You’re not allowed to touch it. Wait for me to get back.”

Chen Huanyi pouted. Lin-laoshi you’re too evil!

Chen Huanyi’s face was aching. Glancing at the clock, he saw that it was already ten in the morning. He realized for the first time that smiling too much could actually make his face hurt.

Finally, he regained the initiative befitting a top student and started to read papers.

The day passed by very quickly. As dusk drew near, Chen Huanyi started feeling uneasy again—getting take-out wouldn’t do, so should he get ingredients and practice his cooking, or wait for Lin-laoshi to come back?

He hadn’t moped for two minutes before his phone went off and the words “Lin-laoshi” appeared on the screen. Chen Huanyi thought to himself that he should change Lin Kai’s nickname to something that made their relationship more obvious as he picked up the phone. “Lin-laoshiiii—”

The voice on the other side seemed wholly unresponsive to Chen Huanyi’s eagerness. “I’m not coming home for dinner. You should eat on your own.”

“…Ah, okay.”

The call ended.

I’m so mad, Chen Huanyi thought to himself. If this is what it’s like on the first day, who’s to say I’ll still be allowed to sit at the table ten years from now? Maybe I won’t even be allowed to walk into the house! I’m really so mad.

Meanwhile, Lin Kai was being interrogated by a smirking Zhang Chaoran. “Nowadays you have to report back if you’re not going home for dinner? Who was that?”

Lin Kai shot a glance at Zhang Chaoran across the table. “Are you hungry?”

“Huh?” Zhang Chaoran was bemused.

“You wanna eat dog food?” [1]

I don’t wanna share an office with this guy anymore, Zhang Chaoran thought to himself in silence.

Fifteen minutes ago, Lin Kai had received a call from Professor Shen.

Professor Shen invited him to dinner.

Lin Kai had started recording as soon as he picked up the call, but Professor Shen never brought up the plagiarism issue. He only said he wanted to eat with Lin Kai and discuss some matters related to the school.

Professor Shen had been planning to make this call for a long time.

As soon as the proposal defenses concluded that day, Professor Shen called Liu Bowei into his office. Once he closed the door, his expression turned grave. He threw Liu Bowei’s proposal onto the coffee table. “Where did you copy this from?!” he demanded.

Professor Shen had immediately understood what had happened during the defense, but under those circumstances, he needed to stand up for Liu Bowei.

Liu Bowei was clearly panicking. “You sent me dozens of papers, including a summary that was already written. I couldn’t write anything better, and I thought it was your work, so I just used the parts that were relevant…”

Professor Shen paced back and forth in agitation. Chen Huanyi had sent him a zip folder that he hadn’t even bothered to uncompress. He started working with Liu Bowei not long afterward, and so he had emailed the zip folder to Liu Bowei without thinking twice.

“You couldn’t even ask?” Professor Shen’s voice crackled with suppressed rage. “How much work would it have been to give me a call or send a text or an email?!”

Liu Bowei opened his mouth but ultimately dared not answer.

“Enough. It’s no use to mention these things now. I’ll find a way to take care of it. No matter what, this project must continue.” Professor Shen irritably waved his hand.

Liu Bowei nodded meekly. “My dad’s investment won’t be reduced.”

When Professor Shen later heard that Chen Huanyi had requested to present evidence, he knew that this incident was far from over. Thus, he had no choice but to contact Lin Kai.

At the dinner table, Professor Shen didn’t bring up the topic of plagiarism, so neither did Lin Kai. Whether Professor Shen talked about research or teaching, Lin Kai followed his lead.

After forty minutes, the atmosphere between them had thawed.

“Ah, the stewed lamb spine [2] here is quite good, but I never order it,” Professor Shen said abruptly. “Lin-laoshi, do you know why?”

Lin Kai smiled without replying. He knew that Professor Shen didn’t intend for him to answer a question asked in this manner.

Just as expected, Professor Shen continued, “After you’ve eaten stewed lamb spine in the north, it just doesn’t taste the same when you get it in the south.”

“This place probably doesn’t have a chef who knows how to make the authentic version,” Lin Kai replied slowly. “The chef can mimic the look of the dish but not the soul of it. That’s why it doesn’t taste authentic.”

“That’s right. Lin-laoshi, I’m very frustrated right now.” Professor Shen sighed. “Huanyi used to be my favorite student. This current situation is really such a pity.”

Lin Kai nodded sympathetically. “Indeed. I’m familiar with Chen Huanyi’s research abilities. Professor Shen, you worked so hard to train him, yet now I’m the one reaping the benefits. I should be the one treating you to dinner.”

Professor Shen shook his head. “No need to console me. The fact that he plagiarized goes to show that I didn’t teach him properly…”

Lin Kai furrowed his brow. “Oh—you see, Professor Shen, I suppose you don’t know that Chen Huanyi already applied to present evidence. I skimmed his report after he sent it to me today—he can probably turn it in to the academic affairs office tomorrow. The evidence in the report is quite comprehensive and shows when he first wrote his literature overview.”

“I see…” Professor Shen nodded. “I know he’s quite good with computers.”

“Don’t worry,” Lin Kai responded. “Of course, a few sheets of paper aren’t sufficient to verify anything. I’ll tell him to hand his computer over to academic affairs as well. Given the gravity of this situation, no one would dare to fabricate anything.”

Professor Shen made a noncommittal grunt and took a sip of tea. “So then it’ll be Liu Bowei’s problem.”

“I can’t be sure about that,” Lin Kai said.

“This issue is very tricky.” Professor Shen stared fixedly at Lin Kai’s eyes. “Lin-laoshi, there are some things you’re not aware of. Liu Bowei is quite impressive—he’s been accepted for graduate studies here. I proposed this project with his involvement and report included—his family owns a drug manufacturing company that just so happens to be interested in investing in this direction. Everyone says the prospects for studying biology aren’t great right now. It’s true—getting research funding sure isn’t easy… I know Chen Huanyi’s capabilities, but he’s just an undergrad after all. It’s more appropriate to let Liu Bowei work on this project. But given the current situation, if Liu Bowei really has to deal with this, that will raise issues with the research funds that have already been approved, to say nothing of the pharmaceutical company’s investment…”

“How troublesome indeed.” Lin Kai put on a harried expression.

“Lin-laoshi, I’d be delighted if you can understand,” Professor Shen said gratefully. “I heard you’ve done research on related topics before?”

“Ah, that was many years ago. Now, advising an undergraduate thesis isn’t much of an issue,” Lin Kai replied modestly.

Professor Shen let out a laugh. “No need to be polite with me, Lin-laoshi.”

Lin Kai smiled.

Professor Shen looked Lin Kai in the eye and said meaningfully, “If Lin-laoshi could assist our team, that would be a tremendous help. The funding issue will definitely be resolved.”

Lin Kai thought for a moment and then said with an air of resignation, “But my family doesn’t own a pharmaceutical company.”

Professor Shen’s words caught in his throat. He inwardly cursed Lin Kai for playing dumb. Did this person forget the ways of the world upon coming back from abroad?

But being a distinguished professor after all, he couldn’t be too blunt. “Lin-laoshi, you see, securing the project is the first prerogative. If you’re willing to assist, we’ll launch the project as a collaboration and include you and Chen Huanyi on the list of authors.”

“Ah, it’s an immense honor for you to offer me this recognition, really,” Lin Kai said earnestly. “It’s just that I really have a lot of projects on my plate right now and can’t take on any more. How about I’ll just hand Chen Huanyi over to you? This is also his research direction. I heard he worked on several relevant projects with you in the past too. It’ll be sure to work out.”

“Well, since the topics have already been assigned, it’s not suitable to change advisors,” said Professor Shen. “Chen Huanyi has indeed obtained some results in his previous research that we will likely use. We’ll just amend the author list then.”

“Oh—then you can just add his name; no need to include me,” Lin Kai said cheerfully. “Chen Huanyi is very fortunate.”

Professor Shen cursed Lin Kai in his heart for not only getting the long end of the stick but also having the nerve to show it off. However, for Professor Shen, there was no better way to handle this situation.

He still had some things he wanted to say, but after looking at Lin Kai for a long moment, he found that the other man had begun eating with enthusiasm and showed no intention of paying attention to him. “…Lin-laoshi,” he said.

“Hm?” Lin Kai took another bite before looking up from his plate.

“…There’s something I need to take care of in the lab. I have to go.” Professor Shen got to his feet. “Please… take your time eating.”

“Sure, of course. Take care,” Lin Kai smiled.

When the door to their private dining room closed, Lin Kai put down his chopsticks. The food was really awful, and his dining companion’s looks weren’t appetizing either. He lifted a hand to look at his watch—eight o’clock. The night was still young.

Footnotes

[1] Slang for sappy behavior from couples or public displays of affection.

[2] 羊蝎子 Traditional dish from northern China, recipe here~