<> WEEKLY, NOT WEAKLY <>
~ Raw & Real ~
© 2022 by Zedwaldo
Issue # New 17
~ Wednesday, 11 January, 2023 ~
"Are you 'clocked-in?' Clocked-In to life." "~Zedwaldo
Embedded Files
"Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning."
PBJ – All you need. A Case Study Delivering Satisfaction.
And to think… MOM made it all happen in a Jiffy with ~
Jiffy Peanut Butter. “It’s creamy – smooth”
The background story… (picture this)
A kid comes home from school riding his bicycle. Racing down the street, he slows down just enough to make a sharp turn into a driveway. Speeding up pass the basketball hoop to the front door, he hops off his bike. Dropping it off on the pavement he rushes to the front door, bursting in.
Breathlessly he shouts, “Hey mom, I'm starving! is there anything good to eat?”
To read the entire Zeditorial click on the arrow to the right
ï mom to the rescue ð
“You don't have to yell Johnny, I'm right here in the kitchen. Please close the door.”
“OKAY mom,” said Jonny, quickly shoving the door as he hurries to the bathroom with another pressing need. In a flash mom has two slices of bread on a paper plate. First comes the grape Jelly, followed by an extra thick layer of creamy smooth Jiffy peanut butter.
Carefully placing the buttered side on top of the Jelly slice, she finishes just as Johnny comes down the hallway. “Sit at the table dear, you must be exhausted.” “Yeah mom, okay” he said, noticeably calmer. A glass of milk and a folded paper towel appeared moments later by the paper plate, as Jonny was already taking his second bite. “Slow down honey, you will choke on your sandwich. Why are you in such a hurry?” “Mom, you make the best PVJ on the planet!” Jonny replied. “Oh Jonny, that's so sweet. Now, what's up?”
“The guys are already at the field waiting for me. We got a big game 10 minutes from now. If we win, we go to the championship.” Mom frowns. “But Johnny, what about your homework?” “Oh mom…” Mom still frowns for another moment… then, 5-4-3-2-1 “Well, alright,” mom finally said, with a smile returning to her face. “Just be home in time for dinner.” But Johnny was already gone; the door left open. His mother sighed again, catching a glimpse of an excited young boy rounding the corner, and then out of sight. “Just like his father,” she thought, closing the door. The smile lingered.
QuICK JoKES?
Remember your inner child?
I do believe that we all should learn to see the funny side of everything. As I continuously say to my son, it isn't funny until everyone laughs. So,let's all laugh together.
Boobs and Willies
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”
for more jokes check out this site:
http://www.laughfactory.com/jokes
The Cook's Coroner
"It's dead, Jim."
Salisbury Steak Burgers
This is a quick meal and a hamburger-stretcher. Here we go… into the blender goes about a half-cup of oats. Pulse until nearly flour consistency. Put into a mixing bowl with one egg. Add one pound of ground beef (or turkey). Mix well. This will be more firm than if you were making the traditional meat-loaf recipe. Reason being that you want to form the mixture into burgers that will hold their shape on the grill. I personally prefer the Foreman Grille for ‘doctored-up’ hamburger recipes.
Handy Helpful Household Hints
[Coming soon]
Handy Helpful Household Hints
[Coming soon]
[Listicle of the Week]
7 things you never want to do
1. Poke yourself in the eye (Take the spoon out of the coffee cup)
2. Go away mad (just go away)
3. Walk into the don’t walk light pole (look up from your smartphone)
4. Go to bed on the wrong side (you’ll wake up regretting it)
5. Poop or wet the bed (turn on the light and go to the bathroom)
6. Wake up next to someone you don’t recognize (OMG whatever happened to your partner?)
7. Leave home without a smile (it takes more muscles to frown, and you’ll arrive at work tired and grumpy)
Reviews
Reviews
"Reading for Success!"
I am now reading
“Seven Stories Every Salesman Must Tell”
by Mike Adams, Copywrite ©2018
I love a good story. That’s why I read at least two or three hours every day. Even when I watch a movie, I intensely follow the storyline and drive my wife crazy with my comments. And I remember most of what I read, write and watch. I also love telling stories and jokes. The people closest to me constantly remind me that I talk too much and often times don’t listen. I need to change that formula, or at least make a course-correction. This book is like a reverse engineering analysis how the top sales achievers sell by telling stories. How they weave the magic and close the deal without even trying or understanding how they do it. I found this book when reading through Brandon Bornancin’s book on Confidential Sales Secrets. Mike breaks down the process into a formula, based on telling stories naturally, but in an organized and logical way. Simply demonstrating how to lead the prospect from introduction to closing the deal and gaining another client without selling at all. Impressive. Now I am once again pumped and anxious to “tame my tongue” so to speak and find time to actually listen more. Even if you are not into sales this book has insights that will help you be better in social situations and more clearly tell your story without boring everyone in your group.
For me it’s a bit of an eye-opener.
Other books I consider to be a worthy read are:
“How to Create Irresistible Offers”
by Robert W. Bly ©2009
I now purchase most of my new books in Kindle format.
I save tons of money and bookshelf space. check it out.
[compensated by Amazon]
Poetry: Rhyme or Reasonable
Poetry: Rhyme or Reasonable
This week’s poem features a guest writer celebrating his 67th birthday.
Written a little over two years ago by my brother,
this one is near and dear to my heart because
it’s about the wit and wisdom our “dear old dad,”
as the “old man” himself was fond of saying.
This is a repeat posting by popular demand
Quotes of My Father
by Mitch Griswold
08082020
“Amen brother Ben, shot at a rooster and killed a hen.”
“Shoot Luke the barns full of pigeons” he said to them.
The three boys sat listening to there father's wise words.
All sat there in a row each thinking “This is for the birds!”
After the years have gone by and all that we have seen.
Do we know what these two quotes really and truly mean?
Exactly what was he talking about when he would say them?
Was he being funny or were they really wise words from him?
In all honestly, I can only guess at what he was trying to say.
It seems to me that both of the phrases were a call to action.
In other words, take action before opportunity flies far away.
Even if you take a chance and miss, you are better for trying.
For more poetry and books by Mitch, kindly check out his Facebook page:
https://www.facebook.com/poetryofmgriswold
Music worth a listen:
“Introversion” by Mark Albert ©2019
Mark is a local Musician based in Woonsocket, RI
Mark Albert Rocks
[Links and URL’s]
The Jetson’s are about to move into the neighborhood
Wouldn’t it be nice if I could fly, Peter? The daily commute to my office takes about twenty minutes.
Not bad for someone living near Beantown (Boston). But what if I had a flying car? The commute would be about five minutes!
That dream is now a reality. But the waiting list grows longer every day. Save your pennies…
Tesla-powered flying car doesn't require a license | Watch (msn.com)
How would you like to write an entire message using emoji’s?
First of all, you’ll need to assemble your bag of emoji tools.
Here are two great places to get more of the good stuff you’ll need to WoW your family and BFF’s
Getting professional assistance with website creation
Professional Digital Copywriting services for developing your website normally begin at $300. I happened upon this site and found that they have a way to begin for as little as $199! Not bad at all. I asked the senior director of services and she said they have more than fifty professional experts on staff and have lowered the entry-level start-up costs. As I said, not bad… in fact, quite good indeed.
You can always do it yourself but getting help from a pro is good business. Check it out and tell them Zedwaldo sent you.
https://www.websitecruise.com/
https://kaylahollatz.com/
USDA Government Health Warning:
I’m on Dark Roast Coffee with Steroids and extra sugar.
Actually, I don’t even need the coffee… It’s just another perk.
Want to know about all things coffee? Check out this blog:
The Coffee Detective
Another site Energized by
Zedwaldo.com
and supported by
a2zedcopywriting.com
;-)
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all rights reserved.
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