Hi, my name is _______, your leader for tonight. As a reminder, please silence your phones.
Will you join me in a moment of silence followed by the Serenity Prayer?
“God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.”
We welcome you to Al-Anon and hope you find in this group the help and friendship we have been privileged to enjoy.
We who live or have lived with the problem of alcoholism understand as perhaps few others can. We, too, were lonely and frustrated, but in Al-Anon we discover that no situation is really hopeless and that it is possible for us to find contentment, and even happiness, whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not.
We urge you to try our program. It has helped many of us find solutions that lead to serenity. So much depends on our own attitudes, and as we learn to place our problem in its true perspective, we find it loses its power to dominate our thoughts and our lives.
The family situation is bound to improve as we apply the Al-Anon ideas. Without such spiritual help, living with an alcoholic is too much for most of us. Our thinking becomes distorted by trying to force solutions, and we become irritable and unreasonable without knowing it.
Al-Anon is based on the Twelve Steps (adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous), which we try, little by little, one day at a time, to apply to our lives, along with our slogans and Serenity Prayer. The loving interchange of help among members and daily reading of Al-Anon literature thus make us ready to receive the priceless gift of serenity.
Anonymity is an important principle of Al-Anon. Everything that is said here, in the group meeting and member-to-member, must be held in confidence. Only in this way can we feel free to say what is in our minds and hearts.
At this time, we will go around the room and introduce ourselves by first name only.
(Start Group Introductions)
The Al-Anon Family Groups are a fellowship of relatives and friends of alcoholics who share their experience, strength, and hope in order to solve their common problems. We believe alcoholism is a family illness and that changed attitudes can aid recovery.
Al-Anon is not allied with any sect, denomination, political entity, organization, or institution; does not engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any cause. There are no dues for membership. Al-Anon is self-supporting through its own voluntary contributions.
Al-Anon has but one purpose: to help families of alcoholics. We do this by practicing the Twelve Steps, studying Al-Anon Literature, by welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholics, and by giving understanding and encouragement to the alcoholic.
We will now go around the room each reading a section from The Twelve Steps, The Twelve Traditions, and the Just for Todays located in the “This is Al-Anon” pamphlet, then passing to the right.
Twelve Steps of Al-Anon
Study of these steps is essential to the progress in the Al-Anon program. The principles they embody are universal, applicable to everyone, whatever his personal creed. In Al-Anon, we strive for an ever-deeper understanding of these Steps and pray for the wisdom to apply them to our lives.
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol– that our lives had become unmanageable.
Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
Made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Twelve Traditions of Al-Anon
These guidelines are the means of promoting harmony and growth in Al-Anon groups and in the Worldwide fellowship of Al-Anon as a whole. Our group experience suggests that our unity depends upon our adherence to these Traditions.
Our common welfare should come first; personal progress for the greatest number depends upon unity.
For our group purpose there is but one authority—a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants—they do not govern.
The relatives of alcoholics, when gathered together for mutual aid, may call themselves an Al-Anon Family Group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation. The only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend.
Each group should be autonomous, except in matters affecting another group or Al-Anon or AA as a whole.
Each Al-Anon Family Group has but one purpose: to help families of alcoholics. We do this by practicing the Twelve Steps of AA ourselves, by encouraging and understanding our alcoholic relatives, and by welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholics.
Our Family Groups ought never endorse, finance or lend our name to any outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary spiritual aim. Although a separate entity, we should always co-operate with Alcoholics Anonymous.
Every group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.
Al-Anon Twelfth Step work should remain forever non-professional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
Our groups, as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
The Al-Anon Family Groups have no opinion on outside issues; hence our name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, films, and TV. We need guard with special care the anonymity of all AA members.
Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles above personalities.
Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.
Just for today I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that “Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
Just for today I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my “luck” as it comes, and fit myself to it.
Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.
Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count. I will do at least two things I don’t want to do – just for exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.
Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, keep my voice low, be courteous, criticize not one bit. I won’t find fault with anything, nor try to improve or regulate anybody but myself.
Just for today I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.
Just for today I will have a quiet half hour all by myself and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective on my life.
Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.
Is there anyone here for their first, second, or third Al-Anon Meeting?
(If there is, read or ask someone to read the Newcomer Welcome)
Newcomers Welcome
As a newcomer you may feel that you are here tonight for the alcoholic… that your presence here may teach you how to stop his or her drinking. The truth is you are here because of the alcoholic and not for the alcoholic.
You will soon learn that you did not cause the alcoholic to drink, you cannot control the drinking, nor can you cure the alcoholic. You are here for yourself. You and you alone are responsible for dealing with your own pain. This is your program; it is your recovery from the effects of the disease of alcoholism.
You will find love, understanding, and a lot of hope from the Al-Anon Family Group. The people around you tonight are experiencing in varying degrees the hurt, the anger, the anxiety that you are experiencing.
We in AlAnon share our experiences because it helps us to focus on ourselves and our recovery. We do this with the use of the Al-Anon tools of the program (Steps, slogans, literature), which will be provided to you.
Al-Anon will work for you if you allow it to. It's as effective as you make it. It is the safe place and the right place to be. Feel free to share your experiences with the group, or you may feel more comfortable just listening. Members can answer questions you may have after the meeting. There are no “musts" in Al-Anon.
Finally, what you say or hear here and whom you see here tonight stays in this room. Your anonymity is protected at all times. Once again, Welcome to Al-Anon.
This meeting is an open meeting; we welcome visitors seeking information about Al-Anon as well as newcomers and members of Al-Anon. Our business meeting is held at 7:00pm on the first Tuesday of every other month, just after this meeting. Everyone is encouraged to attend and help our home group remain strong and healthy. There are free Al-Anon pamphlets available to those who would like them as well as Al-Anon literature for sale. If you are interested in either, please speak with me after the meeting.
In Al-Anon there are no dues or fees for membership, but we do have expenses, so we will pass the basket in keeping with the Seventh Tradition, which states: “Every group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.” If you are a newcomer, please do not feel obligated to contribute.
We’ll also be passing around a signup sheet for anyone interested in leading future meetings and a phone list. Feel free to add your number and indicate whether you would like group updates, if you are available to take calls or texts from other members throughout the week, or both.
Finally, we will send around a newcomer packet for each newcomer. Again, if you’re available to take calls or texts throughout the week, please write your first name and phone number on the back of the packet so that the newcomers can leave with some extra support.
(Circulate the basket, calendar, the phone list, and the newcomer packets)
While those are going around, are there any announcements?
Tonight, we are reading from How Al-Anon Works, page _____. We will take turns reading a paragraph or two then sharing our experience, strength and hope on what we read. Please limit your share to four minutes or less so that everyone has an opportunity to speak.
(CHAIR: 10+ people? Make it 3 minutes)
I have asked ____ to be our timekeeper, who will indicate when your time has ended. Please don’t be offended if you are reminded.
(CHAIR: Do not end early– continue reading and sharing until the close of the meeting)
(Begin reading)
If you do not have experience on what we read, or do not wish to share, please feel free to pass. Also, in keeping with the third tradition, we ask that if you belong to another anonymous program that you keep it anonymous during your share. Please do not talk while someone is sharing. I will call for burning desires about five minutes before the close of our meeting.
I would now like to call for burning desires.
(Pause)
If you did not have a chance to share, please feel free to speak with somebody after the meeting.
I will now read the closing.
In closing, I would like to say that the opinions expressed here were strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you like and leave the rest.
The things you heard were spoken in confidence and should be treated as confidential. Keep them within the walls of this room and the confines of your mind.
A few special words to those of you who haven't been with us long: Whatever your problems there are those among us who have had them, too. If you try to keep an open mind you will find help. You will come to realize that there is no situation too difficult to be bettered and no unhappiness too great to be lessened.
We aren’t perfect. The welcome we give you may not show the warmth we have in our hearts for you. After a while, you’ll discover that though you may not like all of us, you’ll love us in a very special way, the same way we already love you.
Talk to each other, reason things out with someone else, but let there be no gossip or criticism of one another. Instead, let the understanding, love, and peace of the program grow in you one day at a time.
[End of Closing]
Will all who care to, join me in closing with the ______?
(Leader should choose either the Serenity Prayer or the Al-Anon Declaration)
Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
Al-Anon Declaration
Let it begin with me.
When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help,
let the hand of Al-Anon and Ala-Teen
always be there and–let it begin with me.
(Be sure to write the page number and paragraph of where we left off on the reading log.
Also remove the door sign.)