Bully Anomaly 009 - Book of the Bullied

Threat level - Red

Anomalous type - Object

Bully Anomaly 009, also known as the Book of the Bullied, is a large magical tome bound in the torn panties of others and is filled with pages upon pages of magical spells that all have a bully related twist, mainly wedgies. With many of the pages missing, seemingly ripped out of the book centuries ago. The price for this immense power is that the user will suffer powerful, constant unpickable wedgies for as long as they hold the book and use its powers. The ribbon marker is not made of any normal satin but is instead made of satin underwear tags with the names of various people, with the last one's name being "Bub", which some believe to be short for "Beelzebub", leading to many who believe this to be true also believing that this tome was also written by the mythical demon.

This theory could be possible, but because the anomaly known as BAA 001 has claimed to be the maker of all bully anomalies, a claim that is still dubious, it throws the origin of BA 009 up in the air. But one thing is for certain, if BA 009 was actually created by BA 001, and the final tag does belong to Beelzebub, then that would lead one to believe that BA 001 found and wedgied Beelzebub to the point of their underwear ripping off, leading to the underwear and subsequent underwear tag being added to BA 009.

Because of its great power, BA 009 must be sealed within a secure enclosure that is wrapped in several layers of magic blocking cloth to prevent outside magic users from sensing BA 009 and BA 009 from trying to escape itself, since it has proven to have a sort of will of its own, escaping WEDGIEE capture for decades before Agent Hood finally managed to bring it in.

Only agents and personnel of clearance level 5 and higher are able to open the enclosure, and only for cases of emergency.

Adendum: Agent Shane has reportedly taken pictures of BA 009 using her cellular devise, claiming it was for emergencies, so she can have readily accessed spells and won't have to "carry around a heavy book". Her phone was promptly confiscated and placed in the same enclosure as BA 009. It can be labeled as BA 009-1.