Welcome to W.E.D.G.I.E.E.

Worldwide Entity Defense Group Investigating Ectoplasmic Entities

W.E.D.G.I.E.E. is a covert organization dedicated to the identification, capture, and containment of anomalous entities that defy logic and exist solely to torment humanity through bully-related tactics. From spectral wedgie-givers to dimensional swirly-creatures, we ensure that no one falls victim to these anomalous bullies. Operating in secrecy, our highly trained agents work tirelessly to protect the public from threats that conventional methods can’t handle. If it’s causing you undue discomfort and fits within the bully category—it's our jurisdiction.

Anomalies: What Are They?

W.E.D.G.I.E.E. classifies and contains numerous bully-related anomalies, from supernatural beings to cursed objects, all designed to inflict varying levels of embarrassment or discomfort through classic bully methods such as wedgies, wet willies, swirlies, purple nurples, and more. Each anomaly is unique, often displaying abilities beyond human understanding, making containment and neutralization critical.

Where to Find Them:

Our full database of anomalies can be accessed through the Anomalies Page, categorized by bully method and threat level. Each entry contains detailed information on their appearance, behavior, and containment requirements.

Containment Protocols

Ensuring that anomalies are kept under control is one of W.E.D.G.I.E.E.'s top priorities. Each anomaly requires a tailored containment solution to prevent it from wreaking havoc. Our team of researchers and field agents have developed specific protocols for dealing with every known anomaly. These procedures are documented in the Containment Protocols Page (coming soon), where agents can find step-by-step instructions and containment updates on individual entities.

Report a Suspected Anomaly

Have you encountered something unusual that seems too specific to be a coincidence? Does it involve mysterious wedgies, ghostly swirlies, or unexplainable wet willies? You might have discovered a new anomaly. Through our Reports Page, anyone with clearance can submit a detailed account of suspected anomalies for review. All suggestions undergo thorough investigation, and any credible findings are added to our official anomaly database. Your input could help stop the next major bully outbreak.

Field Agents

W.E.D.G.I.E.E.'s team of highly trained agents are responsible for tracking, capturing, and containing these anomalies in the field. Each agent is equipped with the knowledge and tools necessary to deal with specific threats. You can find detailed profiles of our agents, their specialties, and their most notable cases in the Field Agents Page. Whether it's tracking elusive wedgie entities or neutralizing high-threat swirly specters, our agents are the best in the business.