Start Where You Are
Uprooting racism in yourself, your families, and your communities means getting real about where you are starting from.
White identity is not deterministic--we can and should develop into positive, anti-racist white identities as we actively and pro-actively disrupt racism in ourselves and the world around us.
However, we all are socialized in a society which, at best makes us into White Privilege identities, and at work White Supremacists (see Instagram post to the left). It is not a given that you are White Critical, White Traitor, or White Abolitionist without constant, regular, and repeated reflection and work. This work takes work.
Having a false sense of our anti-racist white identity will undermine whatever work we will do. Be honest about where you are in your white identity development.
Make clear goals for concrete actions to perform and behaviors to change. Use your meetings with your partner to reflect on your progress and how you are progressing in your work.
Again, this behavior is not deterministic: we can all backslide into the comfort and ease of White Privilege without constant vigilance and diligence. This is why it is critical for you to be in accountability to the folks in your life.