9/7/2020

I am going to back track. I have been keeping journals, files, memes, photos, doodles of my present experiences. I keep a file box with files from my many interesting classes. This is exciting. I get to revisit sources and ideas as I work towards my practitioner research. My time at Hermosa has been well spent as I try and figure out how to engage 8th graders. It feels particularly difficult with covid. I feel like August was my reality check, I was determined to get back into the groove and to put on my teaching hat.

The current state of our country has me feeling very anxious. I figure that I am not alone. I started August off in a 3 day seminar with the organization Facing Ourselves and Facing History. It was good to be with "like" minded educators. I asked myself some hard questions about myself, our schools, and our communities. That's a positive thing. I need to be prepared to work within a community of educators who are not aware of their own bias, and who struggle to have this conversation. It felt good to engage in discussions about bias. I also joined a NEA podcast about the roots of white supremacy.

So at the beginning of August, I had a lot of fears and anxiousness about online teaching. Now, I just have anxiousness. That's an improvement. I was depressed about not getting to know my students in person. So, since I have to use a messaging system, I try to connect with students through messaging. I have been able to give feedback on assignments, provide directions and reassurance, and, I actually have helped parents too. I have one student with a disability. Will is having difficulty navigating some of the programs. This week we'll have a zoom meeting to practice together. I will be inviting a few more kids.

That first week of online school felt awkward. Overall, students were respectful as we learned how to communicate. That week with all the online difficulties and link mistakes was the worst year since I started with 29 kindergartners. I had a good laugh with one class when I accidentally started speaking on mute. It felt good to laugh.

I feel awkward facing my intellectual history. I am thinking about how to approach this project.

Revision Reflection #1

9/24/20

Hello! I did not follow the directions very well when initially wrote this. So here's my revision. Dr. V asked me the following question, "Why do you think you changed grades so many times?" Moving around, being the new person, adapting to different school district's curriculums have been part of my life. For fifteen years of my life, I changed jobs to support my husband's archaeology career. We figured no matter where we went, teachers were always needed. I taught in Santa Fe, NM, Phoenix, AZ, Fredonia, AZ, Jemez Pueblo, NM, Cuba, NM, Roosevelt UT, and, finally we settled here in Farmington. I always liked the challenge of a new school, or a new community. I have kept the attitude of" blooming where I am planted". I have always been a "self reflector", and, I want to do the best for my students no matter their age, ethnicity, or socioeconomic background. Guess what? In all the places I have taught, I have found like minded teaching communities. Currently, I have a great team of 8th teachers to work with. I find that other colleagues in different grade levels are what I would call "company" people. They adhere to the DDI (Data driven instruction) model of teaching, regardless of the logic of the data driven assessment. One of the things I have learned to do at Hermosa is help students be successful on the district's assessments. I have learned to speak "standardese" which is a method of teaching the standards to appease administration. I have learned to manipulate the standards to meet the needs of students. Manipulating the standards can be problematic when FMS schools require standardized approaches across the district and within the school. It's easier to beg forgiveness than ask permission at times. Now, this is a rather cynical way of approaching educational standards and systems. In my ELA and ELD classes I concentrate on writing, reading, and, reflecting.

This masters is a personal goal. I needed to approach my classrooms in a thoughtful manner, rather than the data driven numbers that students have become in this district. It has been a struggle for me.