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Group 1
Group 1
Great abstract. Effective use of images and figures, they offer insight for the context of landslides along Riverside Ave and how they occur. The technical details of slope instability dynamics were explained well and in a manner that is efficient. Few grammar mistakes were found but nothing significant (use hyphens when applicable). The flow between paragraphs could be improved; it is clear where one person ended and another began during the writing process because similar definitions and contextual information are given. A sentence added at the end of some sections would also help complete a section (such as the "Surface Water" subsection). I like the conclusion and how it invokes urgency and offers solutions to the problem at hand.
Group1_draft.pdfGroup 2:
Group 2:
Introduction is effective at explaining the purpose of the paper, as well as introducing the study location. The background section is well-organized and informational, however is a bit long/in-depth and could be cut down to decrease the word count of the paper. I recommend creating subsections to help the paper become more organized, such as slope dynamics, urban development, waste disposal, etc. so that it is easier for readers to go back and find things. The very last sentence sounds a little awkward, but overall great writing. Figure 2 appears squeezed into that corner and may be more effective shown somewhere more visible. Otherwise, the paper does an excellent job explaining landslide dynamics and how they occur specifically along Riverside Ave.
Group2_draft.pdfGroup 3:
Group 3:
This paper could use some more organization. It seems the "Are they natural?" and "Are they human-induced?" sections are sort of blended together, with each containing elements I thought would be in the other section. Figures located within the body paragraphs would be more effective for readers to access when they are referred to in the text. Some small spelling errors + lack of capitalization in some spots. I recommend using more traditional section titles instead of using the questions on the assignment document. The conclusion paragraph gets a little specific in addressing way to prevent landslides and doesn't have a solid ending. However, this paper does well with explaining ideas without getting too in-depth for the most part.
Group3_draft.pdfGroup 4:
Group 4:
Well written and acknowledges the questions of the assignment well. I suggest incorporating the first paragraph in the "Discussion" section into the "Introduction" to establish background info and context for the first section of the paper. For better organization, I recommend using titles for different subtopics within the "Discussion" section. Despite the need to improve organization, each section is explained well and to the point. I like the images that are used, however I think they could be larger or have the text "wrap" around them to make the paper appear more fluid. Conclusion effectively and succinctly summarizes the paper and offers means for solutions. The final sentence could be worded in another way; the paper sounds fairly professional, however this final sentence seems more casual and doesn't really fit.
Group4_Draft.pdfGroup 5:
Group 5:
Excellent writing and explanation of ideas, the paper has great flow to it and is easy to read. Diving a little deeper in the "Landslide Triggers" section will help readers understand the different forces on a hillslope (not saying to overexplain each term, but maybe just add a little more explanation or a small, simple figure since this knowledge is helpful for the next paragraph). I also feel as though this paragraph and the "Spatial Distribution and Causes of Landslides along Riverside Avenue" section would be better either blended together or put consecutively. They are similar to each other and get oddly separated by the hydrology paragraph. In addition, add a little more (a sentence) about how impervious surfaces impact landslide occurrences. Other minor issues like punctuation, formatting of figures and references, etc. were present but easily fixable with review. Because I have suggested moving some paragraphs around, make sure when doing so that the transition between paragraphs is smooth to make for easier reading. I liked the alternative titles for the intro and conclusion, it makes the paper seem less forced and traditional.
Group5_draft.pdfPage updated
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