I've known I wanted to do a music project for over a year now, but it still took me until January of this year to properly decide on a project. My initial proposal was to learn the Indian instrument Tabla, document my progress with weekly videos, and culminate in a performance at the end of the year to show how far I'd come in a few months. It was a cool idea, and Tabla is truly a fun and fascinating instrument to me, but damn that drum is difficult to play. Besides the technical difficulty, I was just so bad at actually documenting my progress, that come December, I had next to nothing to show, and it was clear I needed a project change of some kind. Above all else, I just wanted it to be fun. Every time I talked to someone about my struggles, I would hear the same infuriating advice: "Just do something you like" Obviously I like music, so after spending 2 and a half months of banging my head against a Tabla with nothing but frustration to show, I knew this project just wasn't right for me. If I wasn't enjoying a music project, clearly I was doing something wrong.

There was a part of me that still wanted to learn a new drum or instrument, but there was another part that wanted something more creative and free form. Both my parents are songwriters, and while the idea of songwriting had always fascinated me, I was always just too scared; too scared that my songs wouldn't be good enough. I'd been toying with the idea of making an EP for this project, but I had zero idea how to even start. I was trained on classical music which is excellent for developing technical skill, but not so great for learning about improvisation or nuanced song structures. Despite all my doubts, however, I really wanted to make something of my own that wasn't just drum patterns learned out of a book. Two days before 2025, I decided to just go for it and make an EP. My final decision was mainly influenced by deadline pressure, so I was still extremely nervous about trying to write music. 

Overall, the whole experience with Tabla taught me that I just need to be more realistic about what my strengths are. If I was a more self motivated person, the concept of pushing myself to learn Tabla in a few months might've worked, but I'm not particularly self motivated. I'm a procrastinator, someone who frequently spends hours staring at a blank essay only for it to get blanker. Classes have always been hard for me, and leaning Tabla felt like just another class I had to clock in for.

 Songwriting, on the other hand, can literally be anything. It only took one jam session with my dad to reignite my passion for music, and my interest in this project. What changed? I just stopped taking it so seriously.