The article, “The Secret to Happiness,” by Maggie Penman, really stands out to me because I could relate to what experts have to say about feeling loved by others, as I have come through all of what they are saying myself.
In the article, an expert Sonja Lyubomirsky states that “We think that to be loved, to feel loved, we need to make ourselves more lovable.” I just need to show them how wonderful I am in hiding my shortcomings and that is not how that works. I agree with this statement because if you choose to just show the positive side of you too, To the other person that you want to love your back, you are not truly showing your full self.
Many people have flaws, and not everybody is perfect. You might choose not to speak about these flaws, or what you are hiding from, the other person that you may love. I also believe that it must do a lot with loving yourself, so before loving someone else, you must love yourself, and for a while, I felt like people would judge me on my flaws and everything I hated about myself, or people wouldn’t like me either. Then, I started to realize, like, “oh, not everybody is perfect.” You cannot live up to someone else’s expectations. You got to show who you really are, and if they don't like you for who you really are, then oh, well that’s on them. Not having someone that loves you can make you feel lonely, but eventually you are going to find someone that loves you for who you are with the good and the bad. Don’t hide your true self. Everybody is working on themselves. Everybody is trying to be better. Everybody is self improving. In the article “The Secret of Happiness”, it also says “Your focus more on things like money or beauty, there is always someone with more money.” Which is true, and you can’t keep comparing yourself to someone else. They are either going to always have less or more than what you have, and they're never going to satisfy you or be satisfied with yourself. You are just going to keep thinking that you don’t have enough or you’re not enough.
In “The Secret to Happiness "Lyubomirsky also says, “There is always somebody more beautiful.” If you keep trying to make yourself look better or more beautiful, then you are just setting standards for others. You can also be setting high standards for yourself that you may not be able to keep up, and you’re going to end up miserable about yourself. No one, including yourself, will never get to truly see how beautiful you are inside or out.
I remembered that during the pandemic I felt so alone because I didn’t have a phone, so I didn’t have any contact with my friends. I gained so much weight too because I was just eating a lot. My belly and waist started sticking out of my clothes. When I was heading back to school, I was nervous to go back because I wasn’t happy with myself and how I looked. All my friends were in good shape, and I just kept comparing myself to them. I thought I wouldn’t find anyone who would love me because I was fat and ugly. My mom told me that there was nothing wrong with me, and I still look good.
I feel good and I came to a realization that I need to stop thinking about what others think or how I look compared to others and just love myself and eventually someone will love me for who I am.
Finding love in someone and in yourself will increase your happiness.
Works Cited
“What’s The Secret to Happiness? It Might Be Feeling Loved by Others. - The Washington Post.” The Secret to Happiness? These Experts Say It’s Feeling Loved by Others., Maggie Penman, 12 Feb. 2026, www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/2026/02/12/secret-happiness-feeling-loved/.
After high school I didn’t know what to do and I was disconnected from my friends. I didn’t feel motivated to do anything. I was constantly stressed eating a lot. I gained so much weight because I didn’t do anything and just lay in bed all day and just worked. At work I was so quiet and I didn’t talk to anyone. I was just all to myself. I kept comparing myself to others in how healthy and better looking they were than me. I kept comparing how they knew what they wanted to do in life. I just didn’t like myself.
In "Psychology Online" Katie O Conner stated “Between 2020 and 2021, almost all the callers to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline who were considering suicide said that the Lifeline helped them with 88% saying that it stopped them from killing themselves.” Many people who are unhappy about their life or themselves go attempt to commit suicide I never really thought about doing that even though I was at a dark place in my life. People could feel alone and feel like they are not being seen which could lead them to suicidal thoughts. You don’t have to have many friends but just one that you can connect with and feel open to talking about anything. People feel like giving up in life because they feel like no one cares about them or they can’t live up to everyone's expectations.
On social media right now. People follow what type of contact they like to see or it's, it could be something that, um Someone has, and they want, and something that they are passionate about, and. people decided today... They are always going to want something because someone who is famous and everybody talks about has it, or they are like, oh, I got to have this, or I got to have that. And if they don't have it, then they are not going to be happy, or a lot of people might see that. That someone else might have what they really want. They have something that is very popular that you do not have which can make you feel ashamed for not having it or, you, they are just, their fault. They're trying to be, like, someone on social media, and they are idolizing that person. Reality is you just got to be yourself, and it is cool to follow the people that you like on social media, but you don't have to be like them. You just got to be yourself. Do not try to pretend to be someone else and fulfill someone's happiness because you're not going to be happy with yourself. Stop trying to live up to all these standards and all these expectations on social media, and, if it could affect someone so negatively. That's why you must surround yourself with people who influence you positively and they like you for who you are. Don't force you to do things that you're uncomfortable or put you in a bad situation. I know it's hard to be happy with yourself at times, and a lot of times we just see the negative side. But we do not see the positive. Which can really bring us to a deep depression. Because at the end of the day. For those people that like you, for what they see on social media. They are not going to end up with your friends. or not liking the real you. You're going to be all alone.
Few people can find happiness in their lives. They can go through depression, and suicide I had a cousin who was going through depression. I had a couple of friends who were also suicidal. I have been through depression myself, and I'm glad that I'm better now because of the people I surrounded myself with, I have great friends, and an amazing girlfriend, but at the same time, you just got to take care of yourself as well. I've learned that I've learned to love myself before loving others. I used to compare myself a lot to other people, either at work or at school. For example, I used to be overweight, and at my job would be either skinny, or they would be in good shape and I would just be so mean to myself, like In my head, I thought that no one would like me because I'm too fat or I'm too overweight. I just kept putting myself down. But then I found these great friends at work, and they started getting along, and they pushed me, and they've made me a better person. I just want to let people know that the pain that you're feeling now is nothing compared to the joy and joyfulness that you will feel later on. Things might feel impossible to do. Do you feel like you would just want to give up? You want to give up because you feel alone? I feel alone. Before, and it just feels like nothing can go right. Those things keep going wrong, why connect, right? But eventually things will get better. You are not alone
Never be afraid to be yourself. Stay true to yourself. Love yourself always. Be happy with yourself.
Works Cited
Preda, Adrian. “Rethinking Psychiatry: Questions That Heal, Not Harm | Psychiatric News.” Psychiatry Online, Psychiatry News, 25 July 2025, psychiatryonline.org/doi/10.1176/appi.pn.2025.08.8.21.
Leonardo Rodriguez is a student from Houston Community College Majoring in Physical Therapy Assistance.