Embedded Files
ASK FOR WHAT YOU NEED
ASK FOR WHAT YOU NEED
Sometimes we need to ask for something, say no, or solve a problem with another person.
DEAR MAN gives you a structure for communicating clearly while staying focused on your goal.
DEAR MAN gives you a structure for communicating clearly while staying focused on your goal.
WHEN CAN THIS HELP?
WHEN CAN THIS HELP?
🗣️ I need to ask for something.
🗣️ I need to ask for something.
🛑 I need to say no.
🛑 I need to say no.
🏠 I need to discuss a problem.
🏠 I need to discuss a problem.
🤝 I need to negotiate.
🤝 I need to negotiate.
💬 I become overwhelmed during difficult conversations.
💬 I become overwhelmed during difficult conversations.
LEARN DEAR MAN
LEARN DEAR MAN
D — DESCRIBE
Say what happened using facts.
E — EXPRESS
Say how you feel or what you think.
A — ASSERT
Clearly ask for what you need or say no.
R — REINFORCE
Explain how cooperation may help.
M — MINDFUL
Stay focused on your goal.
A — APPEAR CONFIDENT
Use a steady voice and posture as best you can.
N — NEGOTIATE
Be willing to consider reasonable alternatives.
CLEAR → CALM → STAY ON GOAL
CLEAR → CALM → STAY ON GOAL
TRY IT
TRY IT
Think of a simple request.
Think of a simple request.
💬 WHAT HAPPENED?
💬 WHAT HAPPENED?
👁 WHAT DID I FEEL OR NEED ?
👁 WHAT DID I FEEL OR NEED ?
✋ WHAT CAN I ASK FOR CLEARLY ?
✋ WHAT CAN I ASK FOR CLEARLY ?
Example structure
Example structure
“When ______ happens, I feel ______. I would like ______.”
“When ______ happens, I feel ______. I would like ______.”
WATCH-- Optional Video
WATCH-- Optional Video
Want to review this skill again?
After watching
After watching
“What is one request I could practice saying clearly?”
“What is one request I could practice saying clearly?”
TAKE IT WITH YOU
TAKE IT WITH YOU
MY RECOVERY CHECK
MY RECOVERY CHECK
☐ I understand the purpose of DEAR MAN.
☐ I practiced making a clear request.
☐ I can name a situation where DEAR MAN might help.
REMEMBER
REMEMBER
CLEAR → CALM → STAY ON GOAL
CLEAR → CALM → STAY ON GOAL
Educational Resource: These materials support recovery-skills education and practice. They do not replace individualized treatment, professional medical advice, crisis evaluation, or guidance from your treatment team.
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