What Does “Heterosexual” Mean?
When a person is heterosexual (also called “straight”), they’re romantically or sexually attracted to people of the opposite gender—for example, a boy who’s attracted to girls, or a girl who’s attracted to boys.
This chapter talks about the kinds of sexual activity that can happen between a male and a female partner. Just like everything else we've talked about, respect, consent, and safety are the most important parts of any sexual experience.
What Heterosexual Sex Can Include
Heterosexual sex isn’t just one thing. It can involve different types of activity:
Vaginal sex – when a penis goes into a vagina. This is the most common type of sex between a male and female and is how pregnancy can happen.
Oral sex – when a person uses their mouth to stimulate their partner’s genitals.
Manual sex – using hands or fingers to touch a partner’s genitals.
Mutual exploration – touching, kissing, or simply spending intimate time together without anything physical happening.
What a couple chooses to do depends on comfort, communication, and personal boundaries. There’s no “right” order or expectation.
Consent Is Still Key
Just because someone is in a relationship doesn’t mean they owe the other person sex. Even if you’ve done something before, it doesn’t mean you always have to. Every time something physical happens, both people need to agree and feel okay about it.
Good communication sounds like:
“Do you want to keep going?”
“Is this okay?”
“Let me know if you want to stop.”
Respecting each other’s comfort is what builds trust.
Pleasure for Both Partners
Sex isn’t about one person “getting” something from the other—it should be something shared.
In heterosexual sex, both people can experience pleasure. For example:
The penis can feel pleasure from stimulation or friction.
The clitoris (a small, sensitive part of the vulva) is a major source of pleasure for many people with female bodies.
Emotional closeness and trust can make physical experiences even more meaningful.
Understanding how your partner's body works—and caring about their experience—helps make sex safer and more enjoyable for both of you.
Safer Sex and Pregnancy Prevention
When a male and female have vaginal sex, pregnancy is possible even if it's the first time or if it's very brief. That’s why birth control and condoms are important.
Condoms protect against both pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs). They’re easy to use and widely available.
Birth control pills, IUDs, and other methods help prevent pregnancy but don’t protect against STIs—so they’re often used with condoms.
Emergency contraception (like Plan B) can be used after unprotected sex but shouldn’t replace regular protection.
If you’re thinking about having sex, learning about safe options and talking with a healthcare provider is a smart move. It's not about planning to have sex—it's about being prepared just in case.
What Heterosexual Sex Is Not
It’s not:
A way to prove love.
Something you have to do to keep a relationship.
A “milestone” you have to reach by a certain age.
Something boys want and girls allow—it should be mutual, respectful, and shared.
No one should ever feel pressured to have sex. You deserve to wait until you’re ready—physically, emotionally, and mentally.
Being Realistic About First Times
The first time someone has sex is often awkward or emotional. Movies and TV don’t show the full picture. There might be nerves, laughter, or things that don’t go perfectly. That’s okay. What matters is that it’s safe, consensual, and respectful.
It’s also completely okay to not be ready, to be unsure, or to decide to wait.
Coming up next: Chapter 5 will explore homosexual sex—what it means, what it can look like, and how to have safe, respectful experiences regardless of gender or identity. But first, take a moment and show yourself what you have learned.
Thinking Questions:
1. Why is emotional readiness important in deciding to become sexually active?
2. How can healthy communication strengthen a heterosexual relationship?
3. In what ways can media or peers influence decisions about heterosexual sex?
4. How can understanding anatomy help make sex safer and more respectful?
5. What are respectful ways teens can say no to sex if they are not ready?