Unconditional love is a misleading term for something most of us don't really understand, and it simply means "I offer you my love freely and unconditionally."
Otherwise, we offer love with a "tied tie." This creates power struggles and control issues.
Unconditional love means loving someone despite difficulties, mistakes, and disappointments. This is what every meaningful and lasting relationship consists of.
When we are in a relationship with another person, we are in a relationship with another person, someone who is full of quirks, flaws, and challenges. And we also point out our own quirks, shortcomings, and challenges.
One of the most beautiful experiences in human life is learning to support each other in the stress of these challenges by offering connection, love, and understanding and by accepting influences, making compromises, and moving forward in a way that benefits both of you.
It is not healthy to offer love without having a safe place to share truth and love with open communication. Our relationships require the fulfillment of basic expectations: kindness, respect and security.
If they are not met, we may need to provide understanding and guidance. These next steps may seem like distancing yourself or setting the parameters of what it takes to make the other person feel worthy.
Security, respect and kindness are owed. If we don't let our loved ones know where we stand in terms of how they treat us and how we should be treated, then we won't have an equal voice in the relationship.
There is a clear line between loving someone and having difficulty accepting unacceptable behavior. The latter indicates when a relationship no longer provides the basic needs of a relationship.
If someone has hurt you and doesn't want to make amends, then you need to set limits for your own well-being. If you find that the relationship has degenerated into behavior that lacks kindness and respect, you may need to set boundaries. This is especially true if you've tried to communicate clearly and still don't see any change.
If you empower the person in a way that negatively impacts your well-being, it is not unconditional love, it is insane and independent love.
The word unconditional can sometimes be confusing or cause us to have unrealistic expectations of ourselves and the way we love. If it's easier, consider the idea of genuine love instead. Loving with all our hearts means trusting vulnerability to offer our love because we want to offer it.
Offering our love in this way means that we give it because it is fun to give, not because we expect a certain result. Love from the heart also recognizes and prioritizes the integrity of both. To give love with all your heart, you must love your partner and yourself completely.
You will understand that love is from the heart when both are willing to enter wholeheartedly. When everyone has a voice. When the challenges are reflected. When growth occurs.
If there is no marker because you are on the same team and not on the opposite team. Having a whole heart helps you love effectively! It begins with you…and let Jesus heal all brokenness and love you with full acceptance and mercy. It is worth being loved.