Contemplative Reflections on
THE THINGS WE SAY
by
Glenn Morison
We all encounter many slogans, aphorisms, quotations and proverbs. And, working in prison chaplaincy, I have been privileged to hear great testimonies of how these words have helped people make their way through phenomenally disturbing circumstances. For instance, I have heard the words, “you always get a second chance” continue to give life to people who have already frittered away twenty or more chances and yet persevere when many others would have given up.
I have also heard confused people utter various slogans hoping but no longer trusting they have any real worth or meaning. I have heard people excuse the most foolish mistakes, even getting married to someone they had never met face to face, by muttering, “You only live once.” But in that case, it appeared the words were not life giving at all. Instead, the catchphrase deflected responsibility and prevented the person from learning from their mistake.
At their best, such proverbs are called to mind in a split second to provide sustenance and direction. The very same words can also be empty, rote and meaningless. They can create confusion and distraction instead of real integration, spiritual challenge and growth.
Yet other common phrases have become innocuous over time compared to their heavily freighted origins. An example is the saying, “nothing is certain but death and taxes” which has nowhere near the impact of its first recorded use.
My intent is not to give a pass or a fail to each of the turns of phrase. Instead, my intention is to delight, invite and provoke. My desire is to bring the words alive and into the midst of your daily struggles. Where you go with that is much more important than where I begin!
I do not offer this as a book of systematic theology. However, I am optimistic that the consistency of my viewpoint will be a gift. My hope is that these reflections will speak God’s Word with life, resiliency and maturity. I offer texts, ideas and convictions that have helped me not only to cope but to thrive while encountering fallen humanity and fractured social systems which, in turn, create pain, injustice, alienation and despair on a daily basis.
This work reflects three major influences. My experience of jail and prison life as a chaplain, which is reflected in many of the phrases I chose and illustrations I use. My vocation as a United Church minister, along with other influences, shows itself in my understanding of the authority and interpretation of scripture. And my life as a Quaker has yielded the structure of the book and provided implicit guidance throughout.
I use the word contemplative in the title because I so greatly admire always draw upon the contemplative traditions. Rather than define or give an inadequate history of contemplative spirituality, I want to tell you what I have found in the writings and teachings of contemplatives.
I experience contemplative spirituality as engagement, movement, humility, paradox, patient, transient, open ended, mysterious and surrendering. A contemplative approach is just that: an approach, a means and not an end.
I describe the life of faith as “touching pain with love.” I offer my comments, insights and illustrations hoping they bring that joy closer to the centre of your life.
Glenn Morison
Simplicity is one of the traditional Quaker Testimonies. Quakers recognize that “a simple lifestyle is [a] freely chosen . . . source of strength.”[viii] The assertion of freedom to choose is central in Quaker perspectives. For example, Quakers are encouraged to “not be persuaded into buying what you cannot afford.” They are also urged to “keep informed” as important choices are required of us each day.[ix]
Quakers ask themselves, too, to be “sensitive to issues of equality, autonomy and power.”[x] It is a choice to live this way just as it is a choice to not live this way. Quakers are led to analyze the social structures we live in. The Australian Yearly Meeting, for instance, has developed their own queries and advices to ensure that “thousands of years . . . of Aboriginal Peoples” living on the land are never forgotten when reflecting upon contemporary issues.[xi]
The Quaker testimony to simplicity is linked to the ways in which Quakers work to protect and preserve the environment. As our world becomes increasingly threatened, responsible choices become more important. If Quakers are to “work to ensure that our increasing power over nature is used responsibly,”[xii] then the first stop toward that work is attention to care and wisdom in choice making.
The quotations that follow offer a variety of thoughts on how we ought to respond when faced with choices in our lives.
Choose the lesser of two evils
Cicero, Aristotle, Plutarch and Chaucer and others said words to this effect. A humorous gloss comes from the movie Klondike Annie where Mae West says when given the choice of two evils, “I'll choose the one I never tried before.”
1 Thessalonians 5:22
Avoid every kind of evil. Abstain from every form of evil.
These isolated words from Paul's letter appear to directly contradict the notion that one must choose between two evils. While seeking what is good, we are to flee evil in all its forms. Yet life is not always so simple. For instance, if we want to buy soap and we have some soap companies that exploit labour and others that hurt the environment and still others that harm animals in testing, are we then required to make our own soap? Or are we able to study the companies and choose the one that causes the least harm in making its soap? While I could offer about 50 or more scriptures that point to this “all or nothing” approach to good and evil, I find it interesting that the conservative technology guru and blogger, Rod Martin, offers a challenge to such thinking. He talks about the elections of Absalom, David and Solomon as Kings of Israel, and the crowning of Rehoboam, as examples where abstract perfectionism is overcome by limited choices and the need for pragmatism. Abstain from every evil in theory? And choose the least evil in practice? Perhaps this is a common ground that holds together the hopes and desires we share with the realities we all face.
We have a choice
One of Stephen Covey's Seven Habits of Highly Effective People is “being proactive.” It means to choose rather than accept. So often we say, “I have no choice” when we do have options. We may not like the choices but there are choices. You have a boss you can't stand? You can choose to quit your job! You don't have the money to eat your favourite foods? You can choose to change your diet! Your friend gets on your nerves constantly? You can end the friendship! Once you have convinced yourself that you are powerless, you are. Reminding yourself that you are choosing to accept things often helps the situation look more manageable. However, when it comes to addiction, author Gabor Maté suggests that addiction is not about choice. He connects addiction to childhood trauma that affects proper brain development and prevents the brain from responding to pain properly. While the person without this problem has an appropriate biochemical response to pain, either physical or mental, the addict, whose dopamine receptors have not fully developed,is constantly seeking out stimulants of all kinds. Maté asserts that approaching addiction in terms of choice is not only a great oversimplification, it is a very harmful one.
Matthew 22: 21b
Then he said to them, “Give to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's.”
What does Jesus actually say with his answer about paying taxes to Caesar? Does he say it is obvious to pay taxes since Caesar is the emperor? Or does he counsel people to not pay taxes to Caesar because Caesar is not the true emperor? Jesus says the answer is not obvious: You have a choice and you need to make it. He does not provide a definitive answer because there is no one answer. The life of faith is not one of certainty but one of constant reliance on the Spirit for guidance. Among the many examples of this is John 8 and the story of the “Woman caught in adultery” when Jesus says, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Instead of advocating the obvious – she sinned so she should be stoned to death –Jesus infuses the situation with complication, choice and the need to rely on the Spirit to choose our course of action.
Between a rock and a hard place
There is no real advice in this phrase. However, the fact that it is used to describe a situation that is very difficult with no apparent solution, implies that all situations have to be reckoned with and when you are “between a rock and a hard place,” it is better to be honest about than in denial of your circumstances. The most literal use of this phrase might be by bestselling author Aron Ralston with the title of his book, 127 Hours: Between a Rock and a Hard Place. Ralston tells his story of being pinned by an 800-pound boulder against a canyon wall in Utah and choosing to cut off his arm in order to survive the ordeal. A similar phrase known to many is “to be caught between the devil and the deep blue sea.” The jailhouse phrase “hooped” which often refers to hiding drugs in your anus, is also used describe situations where no options are attractive.
Isaiah 43:2-3a
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
The confidence God gives is that we are protected in all situations; not just when things feel good. This confidence is meant to transform us. Transform us where our insecurities– and we all have many – no longer hold us hostage. Transform us to a place where we do not cling, control or cover up who we really are. To trust in God being there whenever you feel “between a rock and a hard place” liberates you to no longer anticipate such situations and to live freely at all times! Generally, people who live in such freedom are inspiring, inviting and inimitable.
If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen
President Harry Truman, who attributed it to his friend General Harry Vaughn, popularized this phrase. It is not limited to cooking; rather, it is a metaphor for any situation that creates challenge or “heat.” If you are not ready to take on a challenge, there is no sense pretending you are. Truman intended these words for his staff: if they were not up to the task, they had better resign. In the same way that the word “kitchen” is a euphemism for high placed government offices, the word “game” is often used by criminals for the lifestyle where crime is a major or only source of income. Countless times I have heard the phrase, “I just have to get out the game” as an understatement for the huge changes needed and the potential retributive impacts and consequences of such a decision.
Matthew 16:24
Then Jesus told his disciples, “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.”
If Matthew has any point to make in his Gospel, it is that discipleship has its costs. It is important to note that Jesus describes the cross as something to be “picked up” rather than something to be given and received. In high school, I had a close friend whose father had been very abusive to his mother before leaving the family. She referred to this as her “cross to bear,” which I did not understand. I remember asking my own mother to explain it and not understanding any better after talking with her. Years later, I understood enough to disagree. The abuse that she received was not her cross to bear; taking up the cause to do something about it was her cross to bear. For my friend’s mother, raising her two kids on her own the best way she could was her cross to bear. This led to the end of the marriage, the alcohol-related death of the father, and a life of freedom and opportunity for her and her children. Literally, she stayed in the kitchen, withstood the heat and moved on to a fuller life.
Decisions aren't forever
This is another slogan that has some traction in the Twelve Step community. On the surface, it seems to encourage people to be open to changing their minds. As information and circumstances change, so ought decisions. Put in a positive light, this quote says, “Keep an open mind.” It also echoes the wisdom of living “one day at a time.” It is a reminder that any decision does not have to make sense for infinity, but rather, just until there is good reason to reconsider it. This could be a long time or a short time. This paradox can be expressed like this: Faith is comprised of the seemingly self-contradictory “tentative absolutes.” I find it a gift to spend time around young people, who seem to easily grasp the wisdom of this phrase.
Genesis 9:16
When the bow is in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is on the earth
The story of Noah includes this promise that God has made a decision to never “flood the entire earth” again. Perhaps the advice that “decisions are not forever” does not apply to God. Or, perhaps some decisions should last forever. Likely, the phrase, “never say never” is the closest we can come to an answer that admits we don't really know.
Lead, follow or get out of the way
My father used to use a slightly enlarged version of this phrase. It is commonly attributed to General George Patton and, when done so, often begins, “We herd sheep, we drive cattle, [and] we lead people.” Patton’s words also come with the more personal wording, “Lead me, follow me, or get out of my way.” While I have no particular reason to doubt its authenticity, I do wonder how many were on the list of people that Patton invited to lead him. Others, from Thomas Paine to Ted Turner are credited with this phrase and several authors have written books explaining how to follow the advice.
Mark 9:2-4
Six days later, Jesus took with him Peter and James and John, and led them up a high mountain apart, by themselves. And he was transfigured before them, and his clothes became dazzling white, such as no one on earth could bleach them. And there appeared to them Elijah with Moses, who were talking with Jesus.
I believe you see Jesus do all three things in these few verses. First, Jesus follows the lead of God and goes up the mountain. He takes Peter, James and John with him, leading their way. Then, once they are there, he gets out of the way so Elijah and Moses have a chance to speak. Jesus may not have preached these exact words, but he did practice them.