SPATTERGROIT

For several months now, all wizardkind, and even the Muggles, have been dealing with a pandemic called ‘spattergroit.’ Muggles refer to it as ‘coronavirus’, for reasons yet to be discovered.

Since spattergroit is transmitted through the air, and during this outbreak, it has been a common fashion to cast the Bubble-Head charm before leaving our dwellings. If you are unaware of how to cast a decent Bubble-Head charm, you can also take a Concealing Concoction that will provide sufficient protection for ten hours.

Muggles, on the other hand, wear odd shaped patches over their mouths. Bless them, for we will never understand how they breathe through those coverings.

The Ministry of Magic is under a lot of pressure. Since the disease has made its way to afflict Muggles, it has become too widespread and impossible to erase using Memory Charms. While the situation is steadily getting better, there is a lot of damage that the Ministry needs to cover up. Many wizards and witches have had to go to Muggle hospitals, under the order of the Minister, because there aren't enough Healers to do the job. Will the Ministry lose control?

Interestingly, Muggles do not have the same reaction as wizards when they are infected. So it is a bit of a shock for Muggle healers — those nutters who cut people up — when they see unusual symptoms that only appear amongst us. Wizards from all over the world have created the Wizard Health Organization, or the WHO, and one subset of them are in charge of modifying the memories of Muggles who have seen too much.

Aside from all the Ministry issues, International Quidditch matches are beginning to start again. Many players have fallen ill, therefore causing a lack of team members. The Nordic National Quidditch Team, representing Sweden (the home of the Snorkacks!) recently flattened the Chudley Cannons in a match. Perhaps the luck of the Crumple-Horned Snorkacks have given them a boost.

Meanwhile, in the Muggle world, the cases of spattergroit — coronavirus — are dying down a bit, and places are starting to reopen. Unfortunately, we cannot say the same. Diagon Alley is an exception to the closings, as it will always be open, but there are now Bubble-Head Charm specialists seated at the entrance. All visitors must have polished wands and freshly laundered robes to gain entry. Pubs and recreational areas have been shut down completely. The National Gobstones Club claims to start again next week, but the Minister has not declared his approval yet. Spattergroit patients in Sweden swear to have seen a glimpse of a Snorkack out their hospital wing's window.

Whether wizarding and witchcraft schools such as Hogwarts will reopen for next term remains to be seen.