We often hear the advice time and again: "Be yourself." But how are we to do this in the age of social media and global connectivity? Are we the sum of our experiences, shaped by the cultures, communities, and individuals surrounding us? Or do we possess a genuine self that remains constant despite external influences?

From the moment of birth, we are thrown into an ocean of expectations. Gender roles, cultural norms, and values that our families instil in us start to impact our knowing of the self. As we mature, these outside forces further mould our identity and frequently lead to us feeling the tension between our authentic selves and the personas we present to the world.

This persona that we present to the world is a persona that conforms to societal expectations. This persona as D.W. Winnicott would call it – a false self. The false self is a capacity to behave according to the demands of external reality.

As an infant, one would not worry about how their caretaker would perceive him. Every action one takes is solely for the self. This is when we can truly and wholly be our “True selves” but as we grow up we tend to mould to the societal norms and develop “the false self” that enables us to adapt to the school life and later on their work life.

This false self is not entirely negative. This false self forms over time with experiences and plays a significant role in helping us adapt to society. It emerges as a protective shield against societal pressures. But eventually, the false self becomes stronger and stronger, we no longer project our true self and the false self now becomes your new identity.

Furthermore, in this age of social media and online platforms, shared norms and values are reinforced, often magnifying societal pressure to conform. The content that trends, the ideals of beauty and success, and the feedback mechanisms such as likes and comments all contribute to shaping the false self. These platforms often encourage individuals to present a curated version of themselves that aligns with prevailing societal trends and collective expectations.

Ultimately, the self is a complex interplay between nature and nurture. While societal norms and expectations do contribute to the formation of false self, humans also possess a self that is truly unbothered by eternal demands. It is in that fine balance between individual expression and societal demand that authenticity becomes possible

Author: K.Geetha Sahithi