We spend our whole lives trying to figure out our "why". "What is my purpose? What am I here for?" are a few questions that all of us ponder upon in our relentless pursuit of meaning and fulfilment. What we don't realise is that this pursuit is leading us down a path of constant dissatisfaction, fueled by the ever-present 'what's next' mentality. We continuously chase the next big thing, expecting each new endeavour to be the key to unlocking lasting fulfilment. Truth be told, that is impossible to achieve. Why is that?

Dopamine, also referred to as the currency of motivation or the "feel-good" hormone, is a hormone that is released when we engage in activities that we find rewarding. Our desire to exert effort is triggered by the dopamine released in our brains. It signals a positive reinforcement that encourages us to keep looking for more such activities. Simply put, it is released anytime we think we are heading in the right direction. According to Dr. Andrew Huberman, Professor of Neurobiology and Opthalmology at Stanford University's School Of Medicine, novelty is the number one trigger of dopamine release.

This is why the feeling of familiarity terrifies most of us. While comforting at times, it makes us feel stagnant and wasteful. We simply don't get the dopamine hit that we crave. So, we are constantly running after new opportunities, looking for something different. We tend to invest high hopes in these new endeavours, believing them to be the key to unlocking our true purpose. We leap in with unrealistic expectations. We expect an outcome that's beyond the scope of this new pursuit so we are disappointed. Dr. Huberman refers to this phenomenon as a reward-prediction error. Reward-prediction error = actual amount of dopamine released in response to something – the amount expected. This is why we are continuously striving and never arriving.

So, does this mean that pursuing goals with absolutely zero expectations is the key to feeling fulfilled? Unfortunately, that isn't true either. This can also tie into why a lot of us hope we don't "jinx it" when we are in the process of pursuing something exciting. Our brain is too smart to be tricked by this fake it ’til you make it approach. Not to mention, it is humanly impossible to have zero expectations while pursuing a goal.

Interestingly enough, for every bit of dopamine that’s released, there’s a crash associated with the release of another hormone known as prolactin. Prolactin is behind the feeling of “what’s next” or letdown after a big goal. So does that mean that there is no point in pursuing goals that actually are rewarding either just because the sense of accomplishment is short-lived? All of these are questions that we may never get answers to yet they continue to intrigue us.

At a time when it is easier than ever to get access to a complete stranger's entire lifestyle, thanks to the power of the internet, it can be overwhelming with constant comparison and the "Fear Of Missing Out". With opportunities pouring out, and the promotion of hustle culture, it has become common to strive for more, to want something better, disguising it as drive, completely overlooking the things that bring us genuine happiness. This doesn't mean that one does not need to have goals and a drive. We all surely do. But if it is "The Ultimate Fulfilment" that one is chasing, it is important to understand that it is like running on a track without a finish line; there is no end in sight. This, we know for certain.

Fulfillment is not about reaching the pinnacle of success; it's about appreciating the climb itself. It's about savouring the small moments of joy, the quiet victories that often go unnoticed amidst the hustle and bustle of life. So, fulfilment is a journey, a continuous process of growth and self-discovery; not a destination. It's not just about the milestones but also about finding meaning in the moments. As we navigate this complex world, let's focus on cultivating gratitude, appreciating the simple things, and finding joy on the daily. This is the path to true and sustainable fulfilment, not the elusive dopamine hit that constantly deceives us.

Author: Bhuvishashri Vijayan