Embedded Files
By Sophia Wagner
June 2022
In this article I will be sharing some of the best —and weirdest— things the ISB seniors have said over the years.
I’m an ISB senior, and I’ve been collecting anonymous quotes from the Class of 2022 since seventh grade. The project began in 2016, when I didn’t have social media and wanted a way to document my life for my friends at other schools. It’s now a sprawling 19-page Google Doc that has taught me something I didn’t realize before: the Class of 2022 students are very silly people that are genuinely fun to be around!
While it may seem that we’re serious and focused IB learners, it turns out that the silly things people say on a daily basis are a reminder of why I love ISB. Let’s start in seventh grade.
"Today's Friday! You don't know that???” (2016-17)
"Today's Friday! You don't know that???” (2016-17)
There aren’t many quotes from this year, but there are enough that I can still pick a favorite. This one highlights a certain sense of stupidity… no offense, but this is a common theme. Moving on to eighth grade!
"Alen, is there a snake in your boot?” (March 2017)
"Alen, is there a snake in your boot?” (March 2017)
This Toy Story reference is one example of how popular culture inexplicably inserts itself into the speech patterns of ISB students, leading to… absolutely bonkers sentences. It’s entertaining to imagine someone saying this condescendingly.
“Tienes ssfrfs…” and “I RESPECT WOMEN” (March 2017)
“Tienes ssfrfs…” and “I RESPECT WOMEN” (March 2017)
ISB is known for two things: international-mindedness and being accepting of all people. Even if one’s attempt at speaking Spanish devolved into nothing and their proclamation of feminist viewpoints was yelled across the room.
“His name is Robert E. Lee, right, and he’s from the future, and his last name ends in an e, which means you and him had a love child and he went to join the Confederates” (March 2017)
“His name is Robert E. Lee, right, and he’s from the future, and his last name ends in an e, which means you and him had a love child and he went to join the Confederates” (March 2017)
No explanation for this one except for how we were studying the Civil War with Mr. Wandell in eighth grade.
“So, Dad, how am I supposed to write a frickin’ essay in an hour?” (April 2017)
“So, Dad, how am I supposed to write a frickin’ essay in an hour?” (April 2017)
This was said to Mr. Wandell, and it remains a relevant question. Moving on to freshman year…
“The outdoors didn’t exist when I was a child” (September 2018)
“The outdoors didn’t exist when I was a child” (September 2018)
“Did you know the earth is actually a 4D pentagon?” (October 2018)
“Did you know the earth is actually a 4D pentagon?” (October 2018)
Completely factually incorrect but fun to think about!
“Take your little flute and summon some snakes” (November 2018)
“Take your little flute and summon some snakes” (November 2018)
I imagine someone saying this very contemptuously, perhaps as a result of the Romeo and Juliet-like rivalry between band students and choir students.
“What kind of game is the USA? Burgers? Burgers and capitalism?” (December 2018)
“What kind of game is the USA? Burgers? Burgers and capitalism?” (December 2018)
This reminds me of the good old days, or when we took Global Studies with Mr. Lazzaro and had our eyes opened to American political history. ISB isn’t the same without Mr. Lazzaro!
“Does Mr. Cowin have any spicy beats on his SoundCloud?” (January 2019)
“Does Mr. Cowin have any spicy beats on his SoundCloud?” (January 2019)
…I have an anonymous source that claims the answer is yes.
“What sound does a quack make? Duck duck duck” (February 2019)
“What sound does a quack make? Duck duck duck” (February 2019)
To the soprano in IB choir who said this… you know who you are! Good times.
“Did you get my meme about the working class?” (March 2019)
“Did you get my meme about the working class?” (March 2019)
Mr. Lazzaro’s influence, continued! ISB students have the power of making academic subjects into jokes, which can lead to a strange effect. I like these kinds of statements.
“Come on, guys, dare to be different” (April 2019)
“Come on, guys, dare to be different” (April 2019)
“Are you talking backwards?” (May 2019)
“Are you talking backwards?” (May 2019)
Perplexing statements that most likely originate from AGS 3! Now we’re moving on to sophomore year.
“It’s a TOAD problem!” (October 2019)
“It’s a TOAD problem!” (October 2019)
“My dad is x2. My mom is x3 ” (December 2019)
“My dad is x2. My mom is x3 ” (December 2019)
What in the world is a toad problem? I guess we’ll never know…
“You’re ready. I can see it in your eyeballs.” (February 2020)
“You’re ready. I can see it in your eyeballs.” (February 2020)
Ironic considering the date… ready for quarantine, I suppose.
“Everyone asks Henry ‘how are you’ but no one asks ‘what are you’” (March 2020)
“Everyone asks Henry ‘how are you’ but no one asks ‘what are you’” (March 2020)
All I can say to that is “so true”
(Over Zoom) “If I get another car before I die from the Coronavirus I’m going to name it Oliver” (March 2020)
(Over Zoom) “If I get another car before I die from the Coronavirus I’m going to name it Oliver” (March 2020)
This could be used as a historical reference for what life was like during Covid! It would paint a somewhat bleak picture though. I stopped recording quotes for a while, so we’re skipping to junior year from here.
(Over Zoom) “Who’s that Pokémon? It’s the banking crisis! Nooooo” (November 2020)
(Over Zoom) “Who’s that Pokémon? It’s the banking crisis! Nooooo” (November 2020)
Not only an IB History of Asia joke but also a Pokémon reference!
“Slide into my DMS, coward” (April 2021)
“Slide into my DMS, coward” (April 2021)
By this time we were back in person, and whoever said this was eager for a prom date!
“Gosh, Michelle, you’re Imperial Japan” (May 2021)
“Gosh, Michelle, you’re Imperial Japan” (May 2021)
I know exactly which one of my friends said this, and I can hear their voice in my head. Once again, you know who you are!
“Yes, Mr. Ruff, if I pass away, you may have this sweater” (June 2021)
“Yes, Mr. Ruff, if I pass away, you may have this sweater” (June 2021)
If Mr. Ruff shows up with a new sweater after the IB Exams, we all know what went down.
“I’m the new Spider-Man. That’s gonna be my IA” (September 2021)
“I’m the new Spider-Man. That’s gonna be my IA” (September 2021)
We begin senior year with a strong statement! Tom Holland who?
“I just need to see a picture of a pheasant right now.” (September 2021)
“I just need to see a picture of a pheasant right now.” (September 2021)
It’s for emotional support with the Spider-Man IA.
“It’s the head! Where the brain is! :D” (January 2022)
“It’s the head! Where the brain is! :D” (January 2022)
That’s all one needs to understand psychology!
“There’s only one Ip-Man and it’s not you” (February 2022)
“There’s only one Ip-Man and it’s not you” (February 2022)
A rude awakening from 2nd-period Late Arrival in the library.
We end with my prediction for the senior class at graduation, summed up in one quote…
“After this we’re going to hug! …Don’t touch me actually.” (April 2022)
“After this we’re going to hug! …Don’t touch me actually.” (April 2022)
All in all, I’m glad I made this quote collection. It makes me laugh every time I see it, and I hope it helps the younger students get to know the seniors a little better before we leave ISB!
To the seniors: It’s been so much fun going to school with you all, even when the schoolwork seemed never-ending. I’m so glad I got to have these seven years around you, and I wish you all the best in college and in the future.
Sincerely,
Sophia :)
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