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Pronouns

What they are and how to use them

What are pronouns?

The term "pronoun" has certainly become a buzz-word in American media, to the point that some people seem to not even know that they are, despite the fact that nearly every single English sentence has at least one pronoun within it. In fact, there were two pronouns used in the previous sentence. This article will break down what English pronouns are, how they are used, and why they are particularly relevant to the growing community of gender-noncomforming people.

Pronouns are a piece of grammar that creates a shorthand for the subject of a sentence. For example, using I in a sentence is shorthand for saying your name (see, there's a pronoun right there). Commonly used pronouns include:

I/me/my
You/your/yours
He/him/his
She/her/hers
We/our/ours
They/them/theirs
It/its

As an English-speaker, I can't speak on any other use of pronouns in other languages, other than the fact that they are a building block of Latin languages. (Examples of languages that use few/no pronouns include American Sign Language and Japanese). In English, pronouns are used in nearly every conversational sentence. I challenge you to find every single use of pronouns in this article, just as an example of how prolific pronoun use is.

I'm going to the store.
Someone left their wallet on the counter.
What a cute dog! What's its name?
Have you met Justin? I really like his hat.

Note: You will notice that some of these examples use two sentences. This is because pronouns require a noun in order to properly communicate the subject of the statement.

Why does this matter?

When using pronouns to refer to another person, the pronoun sets he/him/his and she/her/hers usually refer directly to the perceived gender of the individual being spoken about. Note that this is the perceived gender, not true gender, as a majority of the time people will simply guess the subject's gender and pick a set of pronouns to use. Many times, this goes uncontested, but as transgender, nonbinary, and gender non-conforming folks come into the public eye, it's increasingly important to avoid making assumptions.

Assuming gender and assigning pronouns is becoming seen as rude or disrespectful, as using incorrect gendered pronouns for someone can cause a great deal of discomfort to the one being spoken about. Being referred to as the incorrect gender is called being "misgendered", and for many people, this is incredibly uncomfortable and distressing. To avoid this, it is encouraged to ask strangers their pronouns during your introduction, and to memorize their pronouns just as you would memorize someone's name. For example:

Stanley: "Hi! My name is Stanley, and I use he/him pronouns. What are your name and pronouns?

Flora: "Nice to meet you, Stanly. I'm Flora and I use they/them pronouns. Thank you for asking!

If you want to know the pronouns of a person not present, you can simply ask the speaker.

Stanley: I met someone called Flora today!

You: That's great! What are Flora's pronouns?

Stanley: Flora uses they/them pronouns. They were very fun to talk to.

Singluar They

You will notice that "Flora" used they/them pronouns, rather than the expected she/her pronouns. There are a variety of reasons that someone might prefer to use they/them, mainly that "they" is gender-neutral in English and allows the person in question to remain ungendered within the language. Many nonbinary, transgender, or non-conforming people may feel more comfortable outside of the binary boxes. I actually used the singular they in the original pronoun examples previously. "Someone left their wallet on the counter." I'm willing to bet that you didn't notice. The use of the singular they to refer to someone of unknown or arbitrary gender is incredibly common, nearly every person speaking native English will use it in daily conversation to speak about strangers (I can't speak for those learning English as a second language). Its usage used to only be contested by those highly studied and passionate about linguistics, but has become a popular debating topic by people resistant to using this set deliberately for a person.

Fun fact: Singular "they" has actually been in use since Shakespeare's era. In Shakespeare's A Comedy of Errors, Act IV, Scene 3:

There's not a man I meet but doth salute me

As if I were their well-acquainted friend

Neopronouns and Styles of Pronoun Listings

As the use of neutral pronouns spreads in usage, more and more people are finding the use of the usual neutral pronouns to not be sufficient in proper self-expression.

What Are My Pronouns?

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